By David Tumusiime
Dec 10 - 16, 2003
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At first I thought I had fallen in the clutches of an aspiring rapper. "I'm here 24-7. Everyone knows me and everyone respects me," he went. Only this 'rapper' is in his mid-forties and he was talking to me in Luganda about his job. A job he is very proud of. "I have been working here for over a year and already everyone knows I have the cleanest toilets in town. Everyone knows City Square toilets are the best in Kampala and I'm responsible," Mr Sande Tushabe continued. He was not bluffing. We met on a Wednesday around midday and Kampala was experiencing another of her typical rain showers. A regular customer - a food vendor - apologised to Tushabe about the mud outside and left her sandals by the entrance. Tushabe is one of the two-man team that maintains City Square's 10 toilets. And the difference in management is obvious. Even on a wet, muddy day, the marble floor was passably white. Whenever a customer exited one of the toilets, Tushabe made a hurried check to make sure everything was left in order. While it might have been the weather, there were neither flies nor the telltale stench of public toilets. But it is the clientele that was most intriguing. I saw from a one legged beggar to suited, file carrying professionals pass through. They were treated equally as long as they had the requisite Shs 100. That amount must be collected by force, if need be. For City Square toilet management employs a security guard who works mostly nights. And while it is his duty to ensure the fee is collected, he is also there to prevent any tampering with the systems. At night, there are people whom Tusabe describes as 'bayaye' or those ignorant of the fact that the toilets are also open at night, who try to answer nature's call merely as close to the toilets as possible. The poly-fibre tank that contains water for keeping these toilets clean has been found to be the pet-spot for those who are pressed to ease themselves. Tushabe is still baffled at why they prefer to do it this way, but this is only one of the stranger forms of a lack of toilet etiquette he has encountered. City Square has two toilet options - for the same amount of money. One is the European style with a toilet seat; the other is Eastern style - a flush system built at floor level. Tushabe would attribute his customer's behaviour as probably because, "he had come from a village, I think." Rather than sit, this customer apparently clambered on to the seat intending to squat on the rim. But alas, the toilet seat gave way. While Tushabe was sympathetic over the man's injuries, he was uncompromising in charging him a fine to repair the toilet. Mwami Lutaya, a toilet cleaner at National Theatre, had an even more horrifying experience to share. Early in his career in the 1980s, he says a gentleman attempted a similar manoeuvre as that of Tushabe's customer but he was not so lucky. When cracked, the hard plastic material from which the toilet seat is made cuts sharper than a razor blade. His customer suffered an assortment of injuries and was rushed to hospital. But by then, he had lost too much blood and he died. Fact? Or a seasoned toilet cleaner's scarecrow? It was not possible to establish. However, in a bid to improve the state of their toilets, in 2001 the National Theatre adopted new measures. House manager, Ms Alice Lwanga says, "The cost of repairing the toilet facilities constantly was becoming too much." Their toilets are open to the public but the influx of people using them was overwhelming. "People from all the offices around used and still come to use these facilities. >From Parliament Avenue, Dewinton Road, the women who sell food down there, the car park people," said Lwanga. There were bad practises too. "You put a toilet roll there," Lwanga said, "ten minutes to check, the roll is gone. If not, someone has rolled it all out on the floor. It can't be used anymore." At a Kampala health club, one source reported that though their members can hardly be described among the country's needy lot, management often has to contend with the disappearance of toilet knick-knacks. Air fresheners are top of the list. For National Theatre management, it was imperative to come up with some sort of solution, perhaps not foolproof, but a solution nevertheless. "We now give a key to each of our tenants. We do the cleaning. Everything has improved a lot since then," Lwanga said. This way, the various businesses would pay for whatever scandalous etiquette their toilet users brought along. In other public places, it is common practise to be handed the amount of toilet tissue you are likely to use just before you get into the john. In others, the Shs 100 doesn't include any toilet tissue luxury. So who has the worst toilet etiquette? Surprisingly, women. At least as far as Mwami Lutaya is concerned. Though he would not go in detail, it was clear he is not happy to have to deal with used sanitary pads. The introduction of bins made his work a lot easier. At the health club whose name the source requested not to be revealed, it was also found that air fresheners in the women's toilet always went missing as soon as they were provided, while those in the men's facility stayed until they got finished. But that is not to say men's toilet habits are impeccable. Equally strange things have happened in the 'Gents'. Patrick Sekitoleko, a Makerere University Social Sciences student, was reluctant to reveal the high school in which he experienced his toilet horror story. But definitely a man caused the horror. "Yeah, I remember a day in High School, I went into some toilets and then I was shocked to find in the corner spots of semen. It was all over the walls. I was shocked," he said.
But the toilet tales never end. When one Kampala professional could not stand the toilets at her workplace, she opted to drive all the way to the Sheraton whose toilets, she says, she was addicted to because of their 'cleanliness.' *** When using public toilets: - **Use only if you must |
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