Life would really suck, if we lived our lives like
this!!! Ordering Pizza in 2008
Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have
your national ID number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
it's "6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at
1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's
494-3366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance
is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566.
Email address is [EMAIL PROTECTED]
mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]>. Which number are you calling
from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this
information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"
Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security
System, sir.
"This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a
couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode
sensors indicate that you've got very high blood
pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an
unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza.
I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something
like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean
Recipes' from your local library last week, sir.
That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two
family-sized ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife
and your four kids, and your two dogs can finish the
crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have
to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash
before your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking
account's overdrawn also"
Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have
the cash ready.
How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll
be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you
might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the
cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle
can be a little awkward."
Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car
payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's
paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"
Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir.
You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for
cussing out a cop and another one I see here in
September for contempt at your hearing for cussing
at a judge." "Oh yes, I see here that you just got
out from a 90 day stay in the state correctional
facility. Is this your first pizza since your return
to society?
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of
Coke".
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary
clause prevents us from offering free soda to
diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"
Author: UNKNOWN
this!!! Ordering Pizza in 2008
Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have
your national ID number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
it's "6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at
1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's
494-3366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance
is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566.
Email address is [EMAIL PROTECTED]
mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]>. Which number are you calling
from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this
information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"
Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security
System, sir.
"This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a
couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode
sensors indicate that you've got very high blood
pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an
unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza.
I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something
like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean
Recipes' from your local library last week, sir.
That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two
family-sized ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife
and your four kids, and your two dogs can finish the
crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have
to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash
before your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking
account's overdrawn also"
Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have
the cash ready.
How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll
be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you
might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the
cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle
can be a little awkward."
Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car
payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's
paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"
Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir.
You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for
cussing out a cop and another one I see here in
September for contempt at your hearing for cussing
at a judge." "Oh yes, I see here that you just got
out from a 90 day stay in the state correctional
facility. Is this your first pizza since your return
to society?
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of
Coke".
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary
clause prevents us from offering free soda to
diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"
Author: UNKNOWN
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