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Actually, now that you mention it: While picking up
my repaired sandals in town I did see a tub and a ferret in a car around 10th
and Spruce looking for a good place to train the car. (I am assuming this, as
the car was making some unusual car sounds.) I suggested Sammy's on 45th and
Baltimore, but the ferret gave me the finger. I was shocked. A ferret with
a Nokia phone in one ear, driving one-handed, and a tub lounging in the back
seat of an Alfa Romeo was too much for me to respond. I went around the corner
to pick up a few hardware items, and got a great idea! I would lure the tub
with some Comet and take the tub home with me. And, as my good as my
intensions were, I had a secret plot of my own to rip off one of the tubs
legs to help one of my own tubs at home. Gottie, as you call him, "got"
away from me before I was able to put him into my van. He was afraid of the
color red. Last I saw, Gottie was hobbling southward from Lombard.
Perhaps we should call the police or put up some flyers?
Dan Myers
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2003 3:17
PM
Subject: Re: [UC] Potential Rabies in
University City--cases found in Greys Ferry
In a message dated 7/16/2003 11:57:39 AM Eastern Daylight
Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED]
writes:
>Considering my comments about the boy who cried wolf, I put
this out there
>with some trepidation... Our next door
neighbor found a sickly white cat
>in her garden this weekend.
Wouldn't drink, ate only a little, and got
>nasty later in the day
when someone would try to approach but couldn't
>move very far or
easily. When the cat was taken to the vet they said
>that
there were certainly some symptoms of rabies and considering
that
>there had been some recent cases in Greys Ferry, that it wasn't
worth
>determining for sure for a stray cat. Thus, unfortunately
the cat was put
>to sleep. I put this out there because I
had never thought about rabies
>when the cat let me touch him earlier
in the day. It appears that I got
>lucky. It is also a
notice for those that let their animals outside to
>make sure that
they are vaccinated. Alan Kraus
Oh man! As
if I didn't have enough to worry about. Now it's rabies in the hood. Is this
another urban legend or what? Of course I went right to snopes.com and typed
in rabies but the only pertinent entries were these:
Urban Legends
Reference Pages: Music (Dead Puppies) •••
Has shock rocker Marilyn Manson
been slaughtering puppies as part of his stage show?
...encounter
with the animal kingdom and had to endure a rather painful series of rabies
shots. In 1969 it was Alice Cooper who ran "afowl" of people's...
Thu, 22
May 2003 10:16:57 GMT http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/marilyn2.htm
4. Urban Legends Reference Pages: Risqué Business (The Lap Dog) ••
Woman with peanut butter smeared on her private parts is surprised by
guests while searching for her dog.
...reported as a true story that
a woman in South America had been infected with rabies from her own dog in the
course of an encounter involving pineapple....
Wed, 07 May 2003 05:31:43
GMT http://www.snopes.com/risque/bestial/peanutbt.htm
Nothing
about white cats in West University City Village. BUT I did have a rabies
scare with my pet 6-clawfoot tub the other day. As I mentioned, Gott(ie) is
quite obviously pubescent now, the hormones are raging, and last night the
expected happened. Gott(ie) sashayed down the steps, busted out the door, and
apparently got it on with the fecund neighborhood nightlife. Not only that,
but according to witnesses, was seen getting into a fuel-injected Stingray
driven by a smooth-looking, fast-talking urban ferret who promised to take
them for a little ride up in the Bronx. Gott(ie) has never been out of the
house much less the neighborhood so I can see how he/she might fall for a fast
line promising some exotic entertainment. (Could I have been a better owner?
Maybe. Maybe shown Animal Kingdom videos on Friday nights with Val and Herman,
provided some mealy-worm snacks? Alas, I may not ever have the second chance
to know.)
So this morning, walking down Baltimore looking for roosters,
I saw there had been a minor explosion at the Malinese gas station. The owner
was hopping mad. "Some ferret dude in a fuel-injected Stingray pulls in, man.
He proceed to exit his vehicle and pump him some vitrol. Only too late I
did notice he was gabbering away on his Nokia X-9000 GNP mighty fine cell
phone. The device, she blows up. And this in spite of the fact that I had
practically *littered* my humble gas station with hand lettered signs warning
'Je vous priez, no pumpez-pas le petrol avec votre telephone-du-cel dans le
position sweetch-on!!' And these carefully hand-lettered signs, zey were in
seex languages, mon vieux! Mon dieu! On turne en ronde, merde! On turne en
ronde, merde! On turne en ronde, merde!"
Well, he said he saw the
occupants du vehicle commandeer a couple bikes and head south on Baltimore
Avenue. I slipped a couple guppies in his hand and said, "You mean 'east',
right?" He replied, Oh-la-la, bien sur, merde. I don't know what they put in
my breakfast martini. Je vous remercie mille-fois", stuffing the bills in his
shirt. I walked down Baltimore as fast as I could to the VHUP ER and asked if
they had had any ferrets or 6-clawed tubbies come in that
morning.
"Funny you should ask," the nurse responded. "We don't often
get a duo like that. We were going to check em out for rabies, but the ferret
was in a hurry. He was talking like a dime a dozen, and that tub didn't look
like he was wrapped too tight either. So we shot em up with some
Thorazine and kissed the ouchie, and they hightailed it out. Got into some
antique vehicle and roared off down Spruce St."
"Was the ferret
carrying a cell-phone, by any chance?" I inquired. "Yeah, he was," says the
nurse. "Looked like one of them fine new Nokia X-9000 GNPs. I always notice a
man who's carrying the latest in technology fashion."
"Say no more!" I
yelled over my back and took off in hot pursuit. Alas I fear they had a fair
lead on me and I soon pooped out. Also ran into Jude, who wasted my time
asking if I thought her mango turquoise nail polish wasn't the most
tubular thing, and blah blah blah, should she take that new Chancellor's job,
etc. Anyhow, my only hope is that Gott(ie) might have the sense to wrest the
Nokia X-9000 GNP away from that one hip ferret and call home. And if anybody
runs into these wild and crazy dudes, have the sense to take precautions
before approaching.
Ross Bender
http://rossbender.org
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