Mario Giorno wrote:
You have way too much time on your hands.
I, for one, like extended pieces of comic writing and argument. They reflect thought, care, and effort.
But there's always room for the old standards. "You have way too much time on your hands." When is that _ever_ not funny?
On 2/27/07, *Kyle Cassidy* <[EMAIL PROTECTED] <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]>> wrote:> From [EMAIL PROTECTED] <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > "from an article about the continuing battle being fought by Penn Grad Students > for enough of a stipend to pay for the escalating costs of living in University City" So insidious is this plot, and so well crafted that even Al is now thinking of Penn students not as entitled, over-privileged whiners with dad's credit card, but instead the hard laboring hoi polloi, scratching out a living in the hardscrabble wilds of West Philadelphia, barely able to afford a Fu Wah hoagie. It's time for this conspiracy to be unmasked and the members of the responsible Penn cabal held in the bright light of truth. Let me show you how it works: 1) Penn spends millions of dollars on a PR campaign and security blitzkrieg to make west Philly "safe" past 40th st. 2) Students scramble from their tiny hovels in center city to the luxurious spaces of west Philly, enjoying driveways, back yard bbq's and concerts in Clark Park. 3) Landlords, drunk with power, raise rents 300% over a period of six years, using this windfall to buy more property and renovate existing spaces into bacchanalian bourgeoisie paradises. 4) There is a veritable windfall for those who install recessed lighting and under-floor heating. 5) Penn unleashes their secret "pincer" movement -- they open up a 400 bed hi-rise dorm on campus, located immediately adjacent to quietly installed amenities such as a used book store, used record store, ritzy theater, mid range Mexican restaurants and grocery store. 6) Penn hires goons to cause a well publicized mini "crime wave" on the edge of campus. 7) Penn opens the new dorms advertising "stop paying those inflated UC rents, get rid of your car and walk to everything! 43% safer than west of 40th!" 8) A sudden mass exodus of Penn students from the carefully renovated apartments of West Philly creates a property vacuum. 9) Unable to pay their mortgages as rents in the hood plummet back to 1997 rates, landlords begin to default on their loans. The whole house of cards begins to unravel. 10) Penn buys up the defaulted properties at pennies on the dollar, driving landlords and real-estate speculators from west Philly like whipped dogs and cementing their hold on 72% of all residential properties in the area, now with recessed lighting and under-floor heating. 11) Penn spends millions of dollars on a PR campaign and security blitzkrieg to make west Philly "safe" past 40th st...... ---- You are receiving this because you are subscribed to the list named "UnivCity." To unsubscribe or for archive information, see <http://www.purple.com/list.html>.
---- You are receiving this because you are subscribed to the list named "UnivCity." To unsubscribe or for archive information, see <http://www.purple.com/list.html>.
