I’ve designed a new product to sell at the upscale market at Clark Park! Investor’s and taxpayer grants wanted!
We are secretly planning to get an anti-terrorist, quality of life law, passed to require all pet owners to buy this product. The profit potential is sky high!
Pet owners will now be required to purchase this new, improved, ultra-green, awesome, plastic bag for a nominal pile of cash. On it, will be printed in large radioactive letters:
“This bag contains dog shit, It’s not a terrorist bomb”
Unless you support the terrorists, you, of course, understand why the police need dog owners to buy these mandatory bags from our monopoly for the paltry cost of $100/per single use bag! Let’s all take cleaner and safer laws just a little bit farther.
I’m currently working on the grant proposal, so our special service district can get me a few million to bring this anti-terror shit bag to Clark Park. Taxpayers need to invest with us job creators, and lots of good shit will trickle down!
I plan to get Brian and Tony to dress in squatting dog costumes and sell this profitable product at the Fiends table with their other products. Don’t let this investment pass you by! I hear the award winning real estate ladies at my door right now, and it looks like they have suitcases full of cash! Send your checks now!
Fear is joy,
Capitalism
