LOL Very good, Frank. Late breaking news, however, seems to indicate that time is wedded to space so that a creator would be impossible (no spare time for God to work with outside the stuff) and was virtually a non-starter. Instead, turns out that a cartoonist named "Bone Dry" emanated out of the primordial ooze and was the author of this happiness. Bone Dry explained that he was the artist that painted the ceiling on the Sistine chapel and that the Big Bang theory of the Universe came from situation where the depicted hand of Adam is reaching for the finger of God. Apparently the caption in heavenly places has God saying: "Pull my finger". April Fool 2.
On 4/1/06, Frank W. Zammetti <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > A number of pieces of exciting news have come to light today, and the > users and developers of Struts need to be kept informed, so here are the > tidbits, hot off the wire... > > * Struts PMC announces merger with God. > > The Struts PMC is proud to announce that Struts will be merging with the > creator of all there is, was and every will be himself! This move will > allow Struts to reach parity with other frameworks by simply having God > "make it so". Of the merger, God, via his publicist The Pope, said > "Well, you know, Struts has fallen behind the times a bit. Well, at > least, that's what I heard on the mailing list, I didn't know that > before. So, since I'm like, you know, omnipotent and all, I thought > that if I merged with Struts then together we could create a really cool > framework that took the best of Struts and the best of everything else > in the universe." God was also quick to explain that he would not be > REPLACING Struts, and that backwards-compatibility with other deities > would be maintained through a compatibility layer. The Struts team for > their part released 10 different statements on what the future of Struts > might be, and fended off a multitude of annoying and self-righteous > users on the mailing lists claiming that they had lost confidence in > their own work and were thus embracing The Lord to "catch up" with the > competition. > > * Dakota Jack embraces JSF and rents a flat with Craig McClanahan! > > In a stunning change of heart, Dakota Jack today announced that JSF is > "the cat's meow", and Shale could very well be the seeds of a new > religion! Dakota was quoted as saying "Hey, what can you do? I > realized that Spring is an over-engineered piece of trash, and Wicket > needs about ten more years to germinate, and I think JSF is where it's > at. I think it is clear that the component-oriented paradigm is the > future, and the brand-spanking new kid on the block, JSF, is clearly > leading that transformation of thought. And by the way, if you disagree > then you are obviously too green to get it, so I suggest you go off and > do some reading so you know what the CoR and IoC patterns are really all > about, then come back when you grow up." Craig McClanahan, upon hearing > the news reportedly, offered Dakota the opportunity to live with him > (platonically of course!), so that it would be easier for them to > collaborate to spread the word. Craig said "Well, at least now I only > have to pay half-rent!" > > > * Wendy Smoak has decided to rewrite all Apache projects' build files in > Assembly. > > Wendy reportedly described this change as "something that will speed the > build process of all Apache projects tenfold". She further explains: "I > finally looked at how easy Maven was, and I said woah, this is *too* > easy for Apache! And it *is* a little on the slow side, and I realized > the only way to remedy the situation would be to write all the built > scripts in straight x86 Assembly. This will not only speed up all > project builds dramatically, but will also allow developers to work > together more effectively because, well, who doesn't know Assembly these > days?!?". Wendy plans to rewrite all the build scripts, rebuild all > Apache-related web sites and reorganize the source repositories > accordingly by 3:00 EST on Sunday April 2nd (just a bit over 24 hours > from now). About this time delay she said "I'm sorry it will take so > long to implement, I'm a bit under the weather". > > * Ted Husted was the cause of a two-hour Internet-wide outage last > evening. > > Ted mistakenly directed a user to review the "Apache Way" manifesto web > page, but did not realize that the page he referenced references the > page "How to fit in with the rest of us", which references the "PITA and > Troll definitions" page, which references the "If you don't like it, > lump it!" page, which itself references the "Apache Way" manifesto page. > The Apache web servers tried to resolve this circular reference when > the user went to access the first page, which sent out a temporal > displacement wave throughout the root DNS servers, which temporarily > caused them to phase shift out of our universe. Apache administrators > were able to quickly resolve the problem by detonating a yield 6 quantum > flux torpedo, causing a crack in the event horizon that was building up > around the Apache web server cluster, allowing the pent up energies to > be safely released (somewhere in Denmark we hear). Ted was of course > apologetic about the whole incident... sort of... and posted a message > saying "I am sorry for temporarily altering the timeline and fabric of > spacetime, but hey, there was a vote on the PMC mailing list and it got > four +1's, one +0's and no -1's, so the community worked the way it was > supposed to, imminent destruction of the universe be damned!" > > * Jonathan Revusky announces his engagement to... himself! > > Realizing that he would never find anyone as perfect or right-thinking > as himself, Jonathan decided that the only way he could be happy in life > was to marry himself. Jonathan, being a proponent of "proper" > open-source, will open the ceremony to anyone that is interested in > contributing. Even his wedding party is open to the public! Jonathan > explained his decision by saying "I have been asking for a long time now > why my love life was stagnating, and no one would answer. I guess that > level of introspection is just taboo around here! So, when I finally > realized that my girlfriend lost the competition with my own self, I > knew I had to just tie the note with myself to set things right". > > * Frank Zammetti writes a post that is less than 10,000 words long, says > nothing controversial in it, agrees with everyone about everything, > doesn't piss off a PMC member in the process and allows a conversation > to die after just 3 posts in a thread. > > Yeah, your right, none of that would EVER happen, so in case you hadn't > guessed by now... > > A P R I L F O O L S !!!! > > (I hope everyone takes this in the joking spirit it was intended. Don't > read anything into it, it's nothing but an attempt at humor.) > > Frank > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > -- "You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it float on its back." ~Dakota Jack~
