So to call the UKMA Nazis is the wrong way round. As a member of UKMA I would like to point out that no one in the UKMA has ever shown any Nazi tendencies on the official forum and that it is the supporters of Imperial in the UK who are acting illegally with rampant acts of vandalism of public and private property that displays anything in metric, specifically the supporters and members of the BWMA, who are also linked to a party called The Third Way (which is another name for Nazis in some camps of thought).
Where did you find this piece of idiotic writing?
David
MightyChimp wrote:
FFU-ists are so distraught that metric has advanced so quickly in such a short time, they have resported to this type of anti-metric mimicry.
euric
The Day Today, broadcast May 25th 2004 Metric Paramilitaries Ready to end Ceasefire. ============================================= UKMA (United Kingdom Metrication Assocation), the political wing of the paramilitary group METNOW (Metric Enforcement through Nazi Orientated Work) has justified the recent bombing of a shop in Bristol for selling rulers with inches on them. "By selling rulers with Inches on them this shop is promoting the systematic sexual abuse of young children", said Jonathon Bitterfucker, chief UKMA campaign organiser in charge of 'organised booing' at shops using imperial. After being reminded that it was possible that kids could have been in the shop at the time of the explosion Mr Bitterfucker spat in the interviewers face and ran down the street chanting "Metric Forever, I like chamois leather". He appeared to have a small mallet in his left hand. No-one was hurt in the blast as there was a tip off from locals who had spotted "anorak wearing men, stinking to high hell of body odour, acting suspiciously outside the shop" UKMA has been linked with METNOW since 1983 when it's sister organisation USMA (from the United States) started supplying funds through sources from America. At one stage it was even rumoured that MacDonalds was raising funds for the METNOW group but this has been rejected as scaremongering based upon a story that one of the quarter pounders being sold in an outlet in New York weighed marginally less than one quarter of a pound. Lesser educated metric fanatics and supporters of UKMA and USMA tried to see this as "being metric". A similar group, 'UAFAMA', (Under-Achievers for a Metric Australia) have tried to insist that vinyl records are metric based on a similar campaign in Australia. Eventually the group started shouting with hands over their ears as ordinary Australians tried to tell them the truth. Officially UAFAMA folded 3 months ago as it's one member could not capitalise on truthful interesting facts about metric but published absolute rubbish instead. ABC sources have told us that the mother of this one individual "grounded him" (sent him to his bedroom) for flashing his penis with a metric ruler at local girls while shouting "8 centimetres" over and over. After the shock of the exposion in Bristol a spokesman for METNOW has warned that more bombings could be on the way. METNOW declared a ceasefire in 2000 after new laws made it more difficult for people to say "ounce" and "inch" in the UK. However with the advent of people going about their business despite this ruling and even a major supermarket appearing to ignore the theme of this law it looks like METNOW could step up it's campaign and use bombs. "We found some semtex in county Cork", said the spokesman, "but we could not use it as it had "LB" on it which means "pounds". It would be hypocritical of us to use lesser semtex with silly "LB" on it yeah" he said, shaing his head violently. We asked him where METNOW had managed to obtain the "better" metric only bombs from and he absolutely denied outright to tell us his contacts but said "lets just say that we have links with a group on the other size of the world that's not New Zealand, South Africa or South America". In other related incidents it has been reported that members of METNOW have been in talks with Al-Qaeda and have been studying events of "9/11". And the studying they've done has given rise to "suicide drivers" driving cars at high speed into signposts with "yards" or "miles" on them. One driver was found dead at the wheel of his car after he had driven straight into a "Caution Danger Ahead 200 yds" sign. Inspectors found a satellite navigation system in his car and documents about the sign. They also found a note written by the driver detailing his actions precisely and signed off with "Metric is good", "Metric is great". Curiously he had replaced any knoves and forks in his car with plastic ones. UKMA have repeatedly condemed the actions of METNOW by saying that it was inevitable that these things would happen if people still had the right to use outdated measures. But reports show a more sinister reason for METNOW's involvement with UKMA. Four years ago the UKMA held a conference in Brighton where, for the first time, they invited not only members of UKMA but also supporters of metric and those "in favour" of metrication. UKMA leader Hugh jarss blames this change in pratice on the reason for closer links with METNOW today. On a key vote on whether UKMA should work more closely with METNOW the packed phone box voted 3 people in favour and 2 people against such a move. It was decided that after that meeting, only card carrying members of UKMA could attend future meetings. Last year the UKMA organised a successful march through a branch of Tesco in Norwich but controversially members of METNOW joined the march and the six strong demo included two individuals in balaclavas. While most of the demonstrators peacefully waved placards such as "metres and grammes, make your baby's prams" and "Yards and Miles can cause ruptured piles" there were more millitant individuals who hurled joints of beef at passers-by and yelled "you smell" to those ordering loose goods in audible imperial. Police had to arrest one "scrawny little" man who had spelled out "metric vagina better" in blocks of cheese that had been ripped out of wensleydale packets. The man was released later after accidentally describing himself as "5 foot 4 inches tall" and then crying. Bill Smith, a spokesman from FFroME (Freedom from Metric Extremists), a metric watchdog group, says that although they are concerned about activities involving bombs the public need not worry about METNOW members individually. "Most are geeky trainspotting types with whispy beards that have taken years to grow", he says, "they are usually easy to spot as they totally stink of body odour and urine and tend to salivate at anyone of the opposite sex. They are also eager to talk to you and drop in metric words at every opportunity, which is a bit of a give away". Apparently it is rare to even meet one of these people, as Bill went on to explain: "Most METNOW members never really leave their parents houses/dirty flats if they can avoid it. The main part of their campaign involves posting mis-information and distortion to message boards and online bulletin boards in an attempt to drive people away from those same boards, and while most are successful in boring people away some attempt to 'create a trail' by posting under different names, basically 'identity theft' or giving themselves 'handles' named after metric measurements, eg "metre", "kilo", "hector" etc. The ones that we worry about are those who might eventually go one step further and take their message to the streets armed with a mallet rather than jerk off in the confines of their own room posting stuff about rockets, kilometres and euros and the like." Nevertheless the public have been warned to be vigilant while out and about and while the threat of METNOW attacking again looms in the air people need to be on the lookout for anyone carrying a mallet and saying "metre" a lot. ENDS
