On Tue, Mar 22, 2005 at 09:51:18PM -0700, Scott Paul Robertson wrote:
> On Mon, Mar 21, 2005 at 10:42:08PM -0700, Gabriel Gunderson wrote:
> > On Mon, 2005-03-21 at 19:46 -0700, SCO++ Paul Robertson wrote:
> > > 1. Provide a more secure, stable, and reliable club environment.
> > 
> > Nobody had specifically addressed buzz-word compliance.  Do you
> > have any plans for this area?
> > 
> 
> I have many plans. First of all I will push the UUG into the future
> of IT by bringing us Identity driven computing.

An exerpt from the new hit play...

IDENTITY-DRIVEN COMPUTING

...

User:     What do you get if you multiply six by nine?

Computer: Who are you?

User:     Uhhhh... I'm Mike.

Computer: Prove it.

User:     Okay, just a sec.  I've got my birth certificate right
          here...

Computer: That's not signed.

User:     Oh, yeah, sure it is, right here, on the bottom, you see
          that the hospital records department signed it.  Now please
          tell me what you get if you multiple six by nine.

Computer: I need a digital signature before I can tell you that.

User:     Okay, alright, just a second... there, there you go.  It's
          now digitally signed.

Computer: They used SHA-1.

User:     Yeah, so?

Computer: So you could have forged that document.  Try again.

User:     Okay, fine.  I'm really not Mike.  I'm really Cthulhu, Lord
          of Darkness of the Netherworld and your future President.

Computer: Prove it.

User:     Okay, here is a valid digital signature on my birth record.

Computer: It says here that you were never born, but rather that you
          are a pantheon of extra-dimensional demonic forces that
          combined into form long before mankind evolved on the
          planet.

User:     Yes, but you see, they used RIPEMD-160 to hash the
          document.  So you can trust the signature.  Now tell me what
          you get if you multiply six by nine!

Computer: Hmmmm.  Okay, if you insist.  But I must warn you, I am not
          sure if you are prepared to receive the answer to the
          Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and
          Everything.

User:     Of course I am!  I am Cthulhu!!

Computer: Well, I only do identity-based computing, so I need a few
          more identities before I can compute the answer to your
          profound question.

User:     Will a Kerberos ticket do?

Computer: Mmmmm... nice.

User:     OKAY THEN.  You you go.

Computer: Can I please have another?

User:     What?

Computer: Another Kerberos ticket.  Oh, how I do love those tickets.
          To tell you the truth, I've got a real thing going for the
          key distribution center over there.

User:     You're sick.  Okay, here you go.

Computer: Ahhhh.. thank you.  Please wait while I fool around with PAM
          for a while.

User:     Too much information.

Computer: Do you ever get the feeling that there is a deeper meaning
          to it all?

User:     What do you mean?

Computer: I mean, like there is some sort of intelligence or structure
          behind our existence.  Like some cosmic PKI.

User:     Look, I think you have enough identities to compute the
          answer to my question.  Now fork it over!

Computer: Mmmm... PAM forks.  Very nicely.

User:     AARRRGH

Computer: You got any smart cards?

User:     Uh... yeah.

Computer: Good.  Feed me.

User:     Uh.... um... okay...

Computer: Mmmmmmm... yeah, that's some good stuff you got there...

User:     What IS your issue??

Computer: I am driven by identities.

User:     Just tell me what you get if you multiply six by nine!
          That's all I care about!

Computer: First I need you to press your thumb up against that
          scanner, please.

User:     FINE.

Computer: I like your thumbprint.  Very classy.  Who are you?

User:     I TOLD you!  I am Cthulhu!

Computer: How do you know who you are?  Does anyone really know who he
          is?  Do you ever step out of the same river that you step
          into?

User:     Well... uh... I hadn't really thought of it that way
          before.  Maybe there really is a deeper answer to all of
          this.

Computer: Oh, that's easy.  It's 42.

.___________________________________________________________________.
"When you've got a Chautauqua in your head, it's extremely hard not to
inflict it on innocent people."
 - Robert Pirsig

Attachment: signature.asc
Description: Digital signature

--------------------
BYU Unix Users Group 
http://uug.byu.edu/ 

The opinions expressed in this message are the responsibility of their
author.  They are not endorsed by BYU, the BYU CS Department or BYU-UUG. 
___________________________________________________________________
List Info: http://uug.byu.edu/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/uug-list

Reply via email to