High all! For years the wife has bitc.......er..........complained about the mileage we get with my 'Detroit Iron'.
Last night she stopped complaining and finally understood. '77 Eldorado vs 2002 vintage (300 miles on the clock!) $200K Motorhome............. I hit the lottery....er......the lottery hit ME!!!!! Eldorado is toast, complete total, frame is tweaked, but she died valiantly protecting wife, son and grandson. But she bit ME just for good measure I guess. Smacked nose into ceiling breaking it and creating MUCH blood. (I was wearing belts, we all were.) FOP (77 years old!!!) driving said land yacht just got it yesterday in Phoenix and drove up here just to make me rich, but I still think he should be shot! Several times....... And so should the people who sold him that thing! No special license, no experience with large vehicles, no training or orientation, the FOP says the salesman told him not to worry, it's just like driving a car! And the FOP was bewildered that all the closed circuit TVs, which supposedly augmented the mirrors but this clown used them instead of mirrors! And he sounded like he expected the TVs to tell him something was there, he didn't realize he still had to look at the screens! Clueless? Yeah, but how did he make enough money to buy that thing by being that horribly stupid???? Well, the Eldorado is junk, I'm looking for a Demolition Derby I can give her a spectacular end in, but guess what? So is the $200k Motorhome!!!!! LMAO :-) Seems the weight/density/inertia ratio allowed the Caddy to penetrate, deeply, so deeply that it discovered the 'alternate fuel' storage inside the frame rails. Yep, LP Gas! It started as a little 'foomp' noise that got everyone's attention, then doors and windows disappeared and there was a loud WOOMP!!!! and the fireball was beautiful! It melted the cop directing traffics orange plastic vest to his uniform shirt. My beard and eyebrows are kinda crinkly too. But it was really, spectacularly beautiful, especially when the gas tank of the Stupid Useless Vehicle they were towing cooked off! LOL I've seen fiberglass burn and aluminium melt but I saw aluminum burn and steel melt!!! Real bright light! hehehehe Even better is the Po-leece occifer who sat there watching in amazement, just like everyone else in sight! The FOP is insured, heavily, luckily (I was going to kill him!). (I look pretty 'extreme' at best and when I went running towards him to kill him I almost gave him a heart attack! The cop was yelling at me to stop, I swear he was unsnapping his gun, and other spectators were reacting towards me different than normal. Seems the bridge of the nose can produce copious amounts of blood. I startled myself when I looked in a mirror!) You know what? I used to think unkind thoughts about shyster lawyers, especially ambulance chasers, but this one was right behind the cop, he didn't have to chase anything! :-) (He wanted 50%, I told him 40% and he pays costs, he said sure, there probably wouldn't be much in costs, too many witnesses.) BTW, I'll have a party when I get rich. :-) So, noone hurt, 'cept me but that's my job right? The cop who sat there and watched it all blew it for me when he mentioned that he 'didn't know something so heavy could fly so gracefully'. I said what? He graphically recounted the Eldorado riding the railing on the bridge like a skateboard! My wife goes 'yeah, that scared me too!' I didn't realize what all had happened until then, adrenaline, shock, blood loss and my normal, mellow composure all ganged up and knocked me up side the head! What a feeling! 'Discorporate' Zappa said. I did for a while. Kinda cool but not just then thank you. :-( I looked at the Eldo this morning, the floor, which was flat, is now a dome. The seat & belts let go, that's how I got to the ceiling. The passenger seat held on until we got out and flipped the seat back up and the whole seat flipped up! The torsion bars are ripped out of the frame and are pointing nowhere near where they were ripped from. As clear as I can figure it there was an acrobatic adjustment between the Eldorado, the Motorhome, the bridge railing and the bridge abutment where the railing grew from. Something big and angry really tried to get into the car through the floor but HEAVY Detroit IRON paid off again. The wife will never bitc......er........complain about gas mileage again. I just wish I could have seen it! Or someone would have had a video camera. The cop was awestruck that he'd actually gotten to see something like that! Obviously I'm still off like a rocket on the after action rush but I'm waiting patiently for the DSS that's coming. :-) That'll be something new I haven't done before. So, how was your day? :-) Sorry for the off topic material to anyone annoyed by my rambling. BTW, I've gotta admit something. At dawn I rode my bicycle four miles round trip to light a candle, something I haven't done in decades. Yeah, I CAN spell hypocrite..... "I swear there ain't no heaven but I pray there ain't no hell." ---?--- (BS&T or CCR?????) ((Another symptom!!!!!)) Oh, yeah, anyone got a car they don't need? Something big and heavy........ -- --- Peace, Shakes --- "Knowledge is a deadly friend if no one sets the rules. The fate of all mankind I see is in the hands of fools." ---Peter Sinfield---1969--- -- Vintage Macs is sponsored by <http://lowendmac.com/> and... Small Dog Electronics http://www.smalldog.com | Enter To Win A | -- Canon PowerShot Digital Cameras start at $299 | Free iBook! | Support Low End Mac <http://lowendmac.com/lists/support.html> Vintage Macs list info: <http://lowendmac.com/lists/vintagemacs.shtml> The FAQ: <http://macfaq.org/> Send list messages to: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To unsubscribe, email: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> For digest mode, email: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Subscription questions: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Archive: <http://www.mail-archive.com/vintage.macs%40mail.maclaunch.com/> Using a Mac? Free email & more at Applelinks! http://www.applelinks.com
