The Wedding and Life in Ramallah Dear friends and family, Sorry that it has taken me so long to write you all and tell you about the wedding and married life. As you can guess I have been a little busy. I do not even know where to start, there is so much I want to share with you all about the days before the wedding, the wedding itself, and life after the wedding. When I was in the states last summer I kept worrying about having a traditional, Muslim, Palestinian wedding in Qalqilia, a conservative city in the West Bank. Hilary listened to my worries daily as we weeded carrots and tried to calm my fears. But as many of you probably know I am worrier, but now I know that I wasted my time. The wedding was one of the most beautiful and fun days of my entire life, a day I will always hold in my heart. There were some frustrating times before the wedding although, which involved bureaucracy after bureaucracy. In the Muslim tradition the bride and groom actually get married before the wedding. This is the legal part of the marriage. The actual wedding has no legal significance, but rather a celebration with family and friends. When we went to the sheik to get married we realized that we could not just go and get married. First we needed to prove that my father approved of the marriage (thank you Dad) and that I was not already married. This entailed going to the American consulate twice to get statements notarized stating that my father did approve and that I indeed was never married. Then we had to bring these papers to several ministries and offices to get signatures. By the time we finally handed the papers to the sheik we must have visited at least 20 offices and the papers were so full of signatures and stamps, you could barely read what the papers stated. Of course this is nothing compared to what Mohammed will have to go through to be able to enter the states. We were finally officially married on February 15. In the Muslim tradition the woman can ask for money, jewelry, furniture, whatever she wants. And this is added to the marriage contract. When I told the sheik that I only wanted 20 shekels (which is about $5) everyone in the office immediately looked at me, laughed, and insisted that I ask for more money. I told him I was marrying Mohammed for love not for money and he smiled and said that was good. In the end after much chatter in Arabic and English, I asked for $100, just to move the process forward. Mohammed has still not given me that $100! But he has given me lots of love and that is all that really matters. After we were officially married we went to Qalqilia to prepare for the wedding. We were greeted by many of the wonderful women in his family and we immediately started dancing and eating cake in celebration. For the next several days I met his aunts, uncles, and cousins, there are many of them. His mother and father both have 7 siblings, who all have reproduced abundantly as well. They have all welcomed me into their family like I was their own. And they are so much fun! As the wedding approached I realized there was no way that I was going to be able to get married with out first undergoing cosmetic rehabilitation at the salon. Thankfully Hilary accompanied me to the salon and advocated for me as the cosmeticians underwent what seemed to last forever of plucking, applying, applying some more, curling, spraying (I think they used a whole can of hair spray on me in those two days). The day before the wedding was the henna/women's party, where women come to dance and watch as a woman puts henna on me. Before this Hilary and I spent three hours in the salon. I was constantly begging them to not do this or not do that, but to no avail. I kept saying bidish hada, bidish hada (I don't want that, I don't want that). They just kept applying layers of makeup and spraying more spray. When the woman was done she handed me the mirror and asked if I liked what she had done. When I looked in the mirror I screamed, which I guess was not the most polite thing to do but I did not even recognize myself. The next day when I went back for the wedding prep I just let her do anything she wanted because that is exactly what she did the day before when I complained constantly. It was easier that way and I actually enjoyed it a bit. Don't worry the makeup and hairspray days are over, two days was enough. But I have learned a few tips if any of you need them. Everyone also insisted that I could not wear my glasses for the henna party or the wedding. Without my glasses I cannot make out faces unless they are right in front of me. For the two nights I memorized what everyone was wearing so I could pick them out in the crowd. I just saw colorful blobs dancing and bouncing around. The woman got down on the dance floor at the henna party, while I got henna on my arms, hands and back. After most of the women left, Mohammed came to see me. He evaded every effort I made to get him to dance with me, thankfully the next night he was not shy and danced until he got blisters. He still needs some work though…. On the wedding day, Mohammed and I went to the Wall in Qalqilia because Reuter's wanted to interview us about how we met doing non-violent resistance against the Separation Wall. So on our way to get pictures taken at the studio, we went to the Wall fully dressed in our wedding gear. Even on our wedding day we were able to do a little political work. When we got to the wedding hall only the women of his family were there to greet us and slowly the hall filled with hundreds of women from Qalqilia who came to celebrate our wedding. We walked in and were escorted to the dance floor and eventually to the little platform for the bride and groom, where we sat and watched the women dance. Since it is not culturally acceptable to kiss anyone of the opposite sex in public, the closest thing to kiss at the wedding was when we shared a banana milkshake with two straws, it was quite romantic and thirst quenching at the same time. Then Mohammed gave me a gold necklace, bracelet, two rings, and earrings, as is the tradition here. I tried to convince him and his family that I did not want any gold but again there was no way that I was going to change tradition. The men from his family arrived at the wedding about an hour later, as the women clapped to the music. The whole family danced together in a circle with Mohammed and I in the middle. At that very moment I felt so lucky to have inherited this amazingly kind and loving family. After the wedding many of Mohammed's relatives told him that they had not had that much fun in years. And that was obvious from the smiles on everyone's faces. None of us wanted the wedding to end but it did and I will leave out the rest of the night's details, only to say that it was beautiful. After the wedding we went to Jericho for a two-day honeymoon, where I got incredibly sick with tonsillitis and sinusitis and the doctor said a little Israelitis (from fighting the Occupation). But we got to cuddle in bed and Mohammed took care of me. After the honeymoon we went back to Qalqilia. Traditionally, after a wedding the bride receives women who come from throughout the city to congratulate her. For five days women came to see me anywhere from 2 to 8 hours a day. We drank tea, coffee, and ate sweets. They sat around and talked about me with Zerda, Mohammed's mother, while I sat there and smiled trying to understand what they were saying. Apparently they said only good things, but I was a little nervous sometimes when the whole room burst into laughter while they were looking at me. The best parts of those days were when his aunts and their children came. They are so much fun and hysterical!! His mother and I have already formed a beautiful relationship. She calls every few days to tell me how much she loves me and misses me. She is an absolute sweetheart and she is so patient with my slowly progressing Arabic. There was one really big miscommunication between us, which has become a joke now. Mohammed and I had a party in Ramallah for all our friends in the International Solidarity Movement (ISM). The party was at the hotel where Mohammed works. His boss (not the nicest man in the world, actually a pretty slimy man) tried to kiss Hilary on the cheek, which is totally forbidden in Islamic culture. He also invited my friend Aisha to sleep at the hotel with him, which is obviously also forbidden. So I tried to tell this story to Zerda in Arabic. I used the word BOSS because many Palestinians use this word. She thought I was talking about Mohammed and that he did these things to Hilary and Aisha on the BUS. I proceeded to call his boss a donkey (one of the biggest insults in Arabic) and say what a horrible man he was, the whole time she thought I was talking about Mohammed. For the next two hours she begged me not to be angry with Mohammed, telling me how much he and she both loved me. I kept saying that I was not upset with Mohammed and I loved them too. She told me to not let Hilary or Aisha sleep at our house. I could not understand why, because Palestinians traditionally welcome everyone into their homes. Finally Mohammed's sister, Hiba, overheard the conversation and intervened to explain that we were both misunderstanding each other. Now when we talk about Mohammed's boss, we say big boss and we both laugh. I assured Zerda that Mohammed is a wonderful man or I would have never had married him. We are now living in Al Bireh, only a ten-minute walk to the center of Ramallah. Our garden is growing every day. Soon we will be eating spinach from the garden and soon after that we will harvest arugula and radishes. Mohammed is back at work. I am still looking for a job, but only have two and half months left here, so I do not know if I will get one. I have many options for employment when I return in November. But don't worry I have been keeping myself busy with ISM. Two days a week I help conduct trainings for internationals who come to volunteer with ISM. I am also on the problem solving committee and unfortunately ISM has many problems to be solved. Two other people and I are in the process of evaluating the ISM, which involves traveling throughout the West Bank and meeting with Palestinians and internationals. Tomorrow I am off to Nablus. I also help edit reports and press releases for ISM. I went to the doctor again recently because my throat is still not feeling great. He told me that I am allergic to cigarette smoke and that have a mild form of asthma. Of all places to be allergic to cigarette smoke, Palestine is definitely not the place to be, since almost every man chain smokes. But I have been trying to ask people to not smoke near me when possible. I still promise that after Palestine is free and the Wall comes down, I am going to start an anti-smoking campaign here. I will see everyone in the beginning of June when I return home to farm and dig in the soil. Mohammed will not be able to come back with me this year but hopefully next year, if we can get all the legal issues resolved. Hope everyone is well and surviving the latest snowstorm. I want to thank all my friends and family for all the support they have given me. I also thank all the people who questioned my decisions and shared their concerns with me. I am truly happy and I know that we made the right decision, even though it took us a while to get to this point. A very special thank you to Hilly Billy Mary Martin for coming across the ocean to be with me on my wedding day and for all the support you have given to me over the last year. Both Mohammed and I could never thank you enough for everything that you have done. Lots of love For a free Palestine S'ra A little update from Budrus, the village I lived in last year – Two days ago the Israeli military conducted an incursion into the village to arrest a man. They fired tear gas, rubber bullets, sound bombs, and live ammunition. When I called Abu Ahmed to see if everyone was all right, I could hear the noise of constant gunfire. After the military left, the villagers were so upset that they went to Wall, which is a fence in this area and tore down 250 meters of the fence. They tore down the Wall!!!! The first successful, non-violent action of its kind. Other people have torn down parts of the fence but nowhere near this length. And the action was completely spontaneous. We will have to see how long it takes for the Israeli government to rebuild this portion of the Wall. Yeah Budrus!!!! ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Take a look at donorschoose.org, an excellent charitable web site for anyone who cares about public education! http://us.click.yahoo.com/_OLuKD/8WnJAA/cUmLAA/MknplB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/VTJP/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
