DON'T UPGRADE

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates
4.2,
which I'd used for years without any trouble. However, there are
apparently
conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try
and
run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse,
Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications,
such as
Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.

Successive versions of Girlfriend have proved no better. A shareware
beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 had many bugs and left a virus in my
system,
forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually I
tried to
run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover
that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe
damage to
all my hardware.

Sensing a way out, I upgraded to Fiance 1.0 only to discover that this
product has to be upgraded to Wife 1.0. I did this largely because,
whilst
Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources, it does come bundled with
FreeSex
Plus and Cleanhouse 2000. However, I discovered that Wife 1.0 can be
very
unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakes I made were
automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted, they
then re-surfaced months later. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary
Explorer
and E-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Photostrop and
Whingezip.

These latter products have no help files and require you to try and
guess
the problem yourself. Additional costly problems are that the Wife 1.0
bundle that came with the original system needs updating regularly,
requiring Shoe Shop Browser Pro for new attachments and Hairstyle
Express
needs to be reinstalled every other week. It also conflicted with some
of
the new games I wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal
operation.

When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Ford programme it often crashes or
runs
the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called
Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be
problems....if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it will
delete
all MS Money files before un-installing itself.