Solved it.  For anyone who's curious I oppened the Utilities folder in 
Applications and launched Activity Monitor, then used this to 
progressively quit every running application. At some point I turned off 
something (I'm not sure what) which got us back to the log in window, 
from which I did a restart.  The restarted machine then ejected the disk.

Does anybody know a better way to tell what applications are running?
Call me a luddite, but I much prefer OS 9.......

Bill Chesnutt