Hypocrisy over polygamy Sirikit Syah, Surabaya http://www.thejakartapost.com/detaileditorial.asp?fileid=20061208.E02&irec=1
It was quite shocking for Muslim society here when the government announced a plan to push for a possible regulation against polygamy, at a time when it should have been more concerned about a sex scandal involving a House of Representatives member. This lack of comment on the scandal is enough to raise questions about the moral integrity of this government. A House member, a politician in charge of religious affairs, who is paid by taxpayer money, has betrayed us all. And yet the President, Vice President and House speaker say nothing about the moral violation. On the other hand, the government's response to the decision by noted Muslim preacher Abdullah Gymnastiar, better known as Aa Gym, to practice polygamy goes beyond reason. First, polygamy violates no rules. It is permitted by Islam, with strict preconditions. Aa Gym has harmed no one in taking a second wife with his own money. He corrupts nothing. It seems that the issue of polygamy is now being raised again to cover the sex scandal, which may have involved an act of abortion. The state minister for women's empowerment is busy campaigning for the need to regulate (private) marriage, in a bid to "protect women". Which women are she and the government protecting? The most reasonable answer is: They are protecting first wives. They must not be protecting other women, because for other women, being a second wife is better than just being abused and hidden from the public eye. I haven't met any "backstreet" women who would refuse to marry a man with whom she has an intimate relationship, except dangdut singer Maria Eva who recently admitted her affair with the House lawmaker Yahya Zaini. She may hope for the first position, but the fact is, she has no position at all. She has refused to be married as a second wife, although she might not know that to be married is to feel secure, both socially and psychologically. So, the would-be regulation on polygamy is undoubtedly protecting first wives. But are they truly protected? The wife of Yahya, for instance, preferred her husband to play around behind her back than to let him marry the other woman as his second wife. Is this the kind of women such a regulation is going to protect? For me, this is a selfish, egoistical kind of woman, who smiles at seeing the destruction of other women. Our government is going to protect them, not the women who are being treated unfairly and irresponsibly by playboy husbands. Besides, the elite always get more protection in this country. The government's proposal for a regulation on private marriage and a ban against polygamy will ignite an unnecessary clash with Islam. It is written in the Koran that men are allowed to marry more than one wife. It is not a recommendation. Only with certain conditions is polygamy lawful. It is a right, not at all an obligation. Why is such a harmless rule of Islam coming under attack? What is the political agenda behind this? It would be more correct politically for the government to propose a regulation that may/can forbid government officials and House members (those who are paid by the state) from committing adultery by imposing strict sanctions, such as dismissal. All faiths, not only Islam, would support this regulation. If the government can draw up a regulation which would certainly win support from all faiths, why should it insist on regulating polygamy? While the sex scandal involving the Golkar politician has sparked controversy, we have seen how Aa Gym smoothly handled the issue of polygamy. He and his first wife did not need to state in public that they still loved each other; their gestures already said it. In Islam, when the wife is ikhlas (accepts wholeheartedly), the husband loves her more, and treats her better. "If you are ikhlas, Allah will help you and there will be hikmah (blessing in disguise) behind all this seemingly painful experience," Aa Gym's first wife Nini told a press conference. Yet, as a human being, an ordinary woman, she admitted that it was not easy to reach this level of ikhlas. It took the couple three months to unveil Aa Gym's second marriage. Reflecting on these events, we should urge the government to act against Yahya. Golkar could dismiss him as a lawmaker. We may agree or disagree with Aa Gym practicing polygamy, but we need to remember that he has neither harmed anyone nor violated any rules. His first wife is not nor has she made herself a victim. The writer is a freelance journalist and lecturer based in Surabaya. ============================================================ The Moral Conduct of Poligamy? Dewi Candraningrum, Gender Initiative for Indonesia, Asienhaus Germany It was also quite shocking to read Sirikit Syah's editorial on the comparison story of Aa Gym and the infamous gate of YZ and ME (JP, 08/12). Both of the deeds are indeed a very bad example for the family life for the Indonesian. Prophet Muhammad himself and the Quran's sayings strongly object the practice of poligamy. Muhammad was faithful to the principle of monogamy with his wife Siti Khadijah. Only after her death and the political turbulence of the Madinah had he decided to exercise polygamy for the sake of peace treaty and eliminating the practice of having hundreds of wives in the Arab world. Contextually, women at that time were not so educated like the present era. Old Babylonia (Persian) in the Asian continent inherited the tradition of the pastoral segregation between husband and wife roles, husband were supposed to earn the living by hunting the wild beast and wives were supposed to take care the family. The division of roles then culminated in the Semitic religions and Hindu orthodox, which were also shared by other traditional values. The life of the public, acted by that of men and the life of the domestic, played by that of women. These seep usurped the life of the high noble rank becoming Harem, a space where hundreds of wives were collected which were practiced in the Middle East and becoming Zenana, a similar space exercised in the orthodox Hindu in the Indian continent. The segregation for women meant two things, related to the clothes they had to wear, called hijab (in the Middle East) or purdah (in the Indian continent) and a room which were harem and zenana. Within such a tradition, even, women were not allowed to immerse their roles into the public domain. History goes, transformation and rejuvenation of the dividing roles are slowly disappear with the changing of the civilization. The context of polygamy and illegal marriage exercise outside of the formal legal monogamy family were highly contextual. The present years reflect that more women play more roles in the public sphere whether in medias or politics. Women are educated equal with that of men. Women's rights in the public sphere are acknowledged by the state. The fight for equality is indeed stony. Why the media coverage on Aa Gym's polygamy are as many as those on YZ and ME? Medias indeed play a very significant roles in educating the Indonesian, of how such bad examples remain bad example. Why most of the women's activists protested against the practice of polygamy in Indonesia? It is not because they are infidels or distrust the grand-narratives of the Sharia interpretation. It is because several reasons being used by the polygamors are not relevant to the precious teaching of Muhammad. Take a look at the ratio of women in Indonesia. They yielded easily that the amount of women are more than that of men! It is why poligamy could be proceeded. That is totally false. Recent findings by Amartya Sen (1992) mentioned that the ratio of women and men in the first world are nearly equal, however in the third world, even the amount of women are less than that of men. In India, family decide to abort baby girl due to their traditional belief that baby boy is more precious than that of baby girl. In Sri Lanka and Aceh, after the Tsunami disaster, women were dead three times more than that of men. Dita Indah Sari, quite recently gave lecture in Asienhaus Germany that half of the Indonesian are poor, and ¾ of them are women. What is surprising is that those polygamors never interested to take, say 45-widowed woman who earns her living by selling food near the river bank of Ciliwung. Why Indonesian polygamors are infamous? They apparently married a much more young and beautiful women compared to their first wives. An apparent answer of this trend could be easily found! The revitalization of harem and zenana in the Indonesian context. If they use polygamy to answer the widespread adultery in the Indonesian high rank family, why don't they take those who live in a miserable economic situation? It is indeed an infamous moral conduct which shows their lack of integrity. Muhammad's polygamy was proven to be highly respected due to his integrity to those who were poor. Indonesian high rank polygamors are similar to the practice of harem exercised by former traditional noble rank. Indonesian polygamors have exercised their psychological violence toward their first wives. Besides psychological violence casted upon their family, they also abused and misused the doctrinal sayings by violently proclaimed that "polygamy is sunnah". Such an epistemological violence has been totally rejected by progressive Indonesian ulemas who said that "poligamy is mubah". Our progressive ulemas, KH Husein Muhammad and Prof Dr Siti Musdah Mulia have disseminated their illuminating point of the mudharat of polygamy. Their progressive and gender-based interpretation in reading against the prevalent patriarchal interpretation are highly deserved more attention. No matter how highly politicized is the news on Gymnastiar's poligamy, women's slow rejection toward his preach quite recently shows clearly that Indonesian women are not easily being subsumed to the patriarchal interpretation of the holy sayings. From the social civil level Indonesian women are highly empowered. The need of gender-based interpretation of the prevalent grand fiqh need to be revisited to meet the ideal of our Indonesian Islam. Dewi Candraningrum, lecturer of UMS, currently pursues her doctoral degree and teaches at the Institut fuer Ethnologie Universitaet Muenster, Germany.
