I am trying to remember these off the top of my head so they may not be exact:
Barney:
"The quality of mercy is not strained, it floweth as a gentle rain from
Heaven...well, you're not talking to a jerk ya know!"
"Man gets his suit pressed, spends two hours polishing his hat, and for what??
Heartaches!"
"It's not a whim anymore if you put on clean underwear."
"Did you know if you ride down the road with your mouth open and your tongue in
the roof of your mouth, it's impossible to say anything with the letter 's'?"
"You didn't let anyone see you with your mouth open like that, did you?"
"Boy, put some guys in a government uniform and it goes to their heads!"
(to Juanita over the phone)
"Just wanted to be the first to say 'good morning' to you.? Cock a doodle
doo-oo!? Heh heh, yeah, I just made that up."
The speech about the two rules at "the rock"
Barney's story about getting his parents a septic tank for their anniversary
("You're a good son, Barn."? "I try.")
(Andy to Gomer) "And take that gun out of your mouth!"
Gomer's speech about everything wrong with Barney's newly purchased '54 Ford
("...and it could use a good wash...")
?
Goober:
"Ain't you got a jack?"
Opie:
"Poor Horatio."
"Why do you want to go to the duck pond at night?? You can't see the ducks."
Dixon
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