Ellen supposes:
"who's too dumb for the style invitational. The Empress has set up an SI hotline for SI comprehension emergencies caused by the "huh?" reaction to SI winning entries. Nice to know I'm not alone in my ignorance--apparently SI ignorance is enough of an epidemic to justify the hotline. OK I feel better now. "not that I would actually USE the hotline because I think most cases of SI confusion can be cured with a mild dose of Merriam-Webster with wikipedia chaser, but it's nice to know it's there. ----------- Speaking as someone who occasionally gets "ink" in the Style Invitational, I can tell you that many regular CONTRIBUTORS don't always "get it" either. It's not intelligence, it's HOW you're thinking as you read the Invite. The secret is, you often need to take a leap from what first springs to mind. The winning entries are sometimes "layered." The E seems to prefer if both contributors and readers have to WORK at it a bit; I assume because that "A-ha" moment makes it better (kinda like holding out during good foreplay). She's been criticized by some regular contributors for being partial to "Clever but not Funny" (CbnF) answers. Some of those contribs used to have better luck getting ink in the Czar's regime (he was more partial to poop jokes). So if you ever enter, I recommend that you: 1. Take something you think is really funny (and not OBVIOUS to everybody). 2. Twist it a bit - play with the words so they incorporate a pun, or a famous saying, or have something "extra." 3. Edit it to be as short as possible. "Brevity is the soul of wit." Plus, she's more likely to print shorter answers, because then she has more room to get more funny answers on the page. 4. Refine and tweak for a few days, until it's perfect. 5. Repeat. Send about 10 entries for contests that aren't too wordy, and 5 for the longer ones (like poems). You can put them all in one e-mail. There's usually no limit, but she gets a ton of entries, and you really don't want to overwhelm her, waste her time on sub-par entries, and piss her off. So edit yourself - just send your very best. Also, she's nice to newbies, so don't be afraid. 6. It all takes some work - the final results have to seem natural, not forced. Don't be discouraged if it takes you several weeks to ink. You'd be surprised at how many entries she still rejects by even the old pros (Chuck Smith, Russ Beland, Chris Doyle, Brendan Beary, Kevin Dopart). Randy
