YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN UGANDA FOR A LONG TIME WHEN...
- Your phone rings and it is a wrong number and you
can keep the Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello's going back
and forth like a tennis match until eventually the
caller realises you are the wrong number and abruptly
hangs up, after spending at least 2 minutes worth of
airtime. (Natalie McComb)
- You get arrested and start bargaining over the bribe
whilst you drive yourself to jail. (Jason McKelvie)
- When the power goes off in chicago during a storm
and it makes you homesick...(Sarah Larson)
- Your standard response to someone's greetings
becomes "I AM FINE, HOW ARE YOU?!". (Maanan Madhvani)
- You start saying "the whati ?" in every what ? In
every sentence. (Christopher Laughlin)
- Al's bar becomes a form of speed dating! (Tom
Slater)
-You start referring to people as “this one” or “that
one”. (Heather Lawrence)
- Clothes becomes a two-syllable word. Clo - thes.
(Ruth Townley)
- When the sight of a boda-boda with a passenger
carrying yet another boda-boda [effectively a
boda-boda breakdown service] does not cause you to
raise an eyebrow. (Kaz Kasozi)
- When you stand in a queue and feel something is very
wrong because it is orderly and the person behind you
respects your personal space. (Nick Astles)
- When you're no longer surprised that a boda boda guy
will try to convince you to become his customer by
running you over. (Andrea Bohnstedt)
- When you have named the potholes. (Nanna
Schneidermann)
- Your knees ache from squating over a long drop 4
times a day because you ran out of ciproflaxcin a
month ago...(Jeremy Schmitz)
- Its 32 degrees C outside and you can still see one
or two people fully dressed Sweater and all. (Kaliika
Annat)
- When you know that a Swiss Loll at the Belgian
bakery is a Swiss Roll. And that the man asking for
Lose actually refers to Rose. (Rose Andersen)
- When you don't get confused even though the person
you're talking to keeps mixing up 'he' and 'she' in
the same sentence. (Kirstine Corneliussen Magoola)
- When you point with your lips and say yes with your
eyebrows. (Marcia Baugh)
- When are reluctant to let go of a new, CLEAN 1000
shilling note. (Daisy Asiimwe)
- You start thinking drinking beer with a straw is
cool. (Joel Wandurwa)
- When the beggar starts giving out change. (Morgan
Gyaviira Bonna)
- When people use please in everything they say when
talking to you and it does not sound weird at
all.........`bye please'...."thank you please" (Mimmy
Khamis )
- When you still have to look left,right and left
again before crossing a one way street. (Francis
Musinguzi)
- When that article in Wikipedia on Ugandan English
totally makes sense (Martin Ucanda / Anne Mugisha)
- When you consider going to Garden City a "trip to
the Mall", made even more special if the escalator is
switched on (Stuart Cook)
- you yell, "muzungu" at other muzungu's you see
walking down the road as you pass them in your car
(Virginia Earwicker)
- When near death experiences on bodas become an
amusing daily routine (Sarah Lightfoot)
- When you blush/smile whenever someone mentions a
particular city in Afghanistan...thanks to The red
pepper (Lorac Mutesi)
- when u notice strangers staring in ur face like they
have known u all their lives (Laurhita Kisa)
- when you give a naked beggar in the middle of an
intersection a samosa, and he disgustedly refuses
because he wanted a chapat instead... (Nicole Galovski
Hawkins)
- When people around you can't tell instantly which is
left or right (Steven M. Kiggs)
- When you give inanimate objects the capability to
act and feel, e.g. "this soda is defeating me" or
"This computer is refusing to work" (Marianne Bach
Mosebo)
- When you say "let me come" and you go in the
opposite direction! (Maureen B Ndahura)
- When instead of asking to be passed something you
say stuff like "Please assist me with the salt" (Bill
Reynell)
- When "E" on the fuel gauge means Enough (Alex
Porter)
- When the taxi conductor speaks of Obama like a long
lost friend! (Jimmy Delyon)
- When the garbage dump next to your house becomes a
landmark on the Kampala A-Z (Rachael Akidi)
Cheers.
"The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it”
Patrick Onen Ezaga
Makerere University Business School
P. O. Box 1337, Kampala
Plot M118 Port Bell Road
Mobile: +256 - 77-2511472
E-mail: pez...@gmail.com
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