Click here: The Assassinated Press
'UNCLE SLIMY WANTS YOU!':
Tie Off & Join TODAY To Fight The War To End All Wars!:
Are You High Enough To Stop The March Of World Tyranny In Iraq?:
At no time, has the reason for fighting a war been more clear. Just look in your fuckin' driveway!:
Free Needles, Dope To New Enlistees Run Out; Stingey CIA Blamed:
Pawn Shops Set Up In Military Commissaries To Fence Iraq Booty:
By JOHNNY APPLE BUMPKIN
Remember The Maine?? Carrier USS America Sunk Off U.S. Coast!
Bush Vows Somebody, Preferably With Oil, Will Pay:
Cheney Declares War On Venezuela; Sends In Marines:
Enlistments Reach Pandemic Proportions With Promise Of Clean Needles, Afghan Dope:
Bush Resigns. Reactivates His Commission Eager To Fight.---"I wanna be sent where I can do some good like signing up tits and ass for the USO."
By CRIST KRISPIES
Drug Dogs Trained To Detect Talcum Powder Snag Baby Crooks:
Immigration Holding 46 Infants Incognito At Gitmo Under Homeland Security Guidelines:
Patriot Act Says 'Talcum Toddlers' Can Be Executed Without Trial
By CHIMP ARPIE
