--- On Sat, 26/3/11, ED <[email protected]> wrote:
Zen Judaism
---------------------
MEL:..*grin*...ok, I'll bite. Here goes....
----------------------------------------------
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single "Oy."
------------------------------------------------------
MEL: Dualistically-speaking, except for the 'oy' bit, isn't the rest from Tao?
What's with the 'oy' something, or another
--------------------------------------------------------------
If you wish to know The Way, don't ask for directions. Argue.
----------------------------------------------------------
MEL: Don't ask for directions?? Argue??????? Verrrrryyy
Buddhist...hmmm.....*laughter*....
-------------------------------------------
Take only what is given.
---------------------------------------
MEL: It might be similar from something from the Dhammapada. However, I'm not a
moralist
-----------------------------------------------------
Own nothing but your robes and an alms bowl.
-------------------------------------------------
MEL: I didn't know that Zen encouraged an ascetic life. Damn, I learn somethin'
new everyday
--------------------------------------
Unless, of course, you have the closet space.
------------------------------------
MEL:...Huh??....
--------------------------------------------------
Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen.
----------------------------------------------------------
MEL:...And they told me in Zen to never ever think about anything in
particular...
I'd like to meet this Zen Jew. He seems to be an interesting creature. Funny,
but interesting
----------------------------------------------------------
And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that.
--------------------------------------------------------------
MEL: Meet the Buddha? Where is the Buddha?
---------------------------------------
There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never
wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
---------------------------------------------------------------
MEL:...I think my jaw just dropped on the ground....
--------------------------------------------------
Wherever you go, there you are.
--------------------------------------
MEL: I really wonder if this Zen Jew really knew the significance of what he
just said(I assume it was a man)
-----------------------------------------------
Your luggage is another story.
--------------------------------------------
MEL: Luggage, baggage, cabbage, carnage....it's attachment....I myself am
currently attached to my own Buddha statue
---------------------------------------------------
Do not let children play contact sports like football. These only lead to
injuries and instill a violent, war-like nature. Encourage your child to play
peaceful games, like "sports doctor."
-------------------------------------------------
MEL: Oh, absolutely! Karate Mel here is so full of crap! So let's make love,
not war..*huge laughter*.....
Are you sure you mean 'sports doctor'....not 'doctors and nurses'??..
-----------------------------------------------
To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following:
Get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?
-------------------------------------------------------------
MEL: Oh, yes! Get rid of everything just for the sake of getting rid of
them(*shakes head/dumbfounded*)
-----------------------------------------------------
Learn of the pine from the pine. Learn of the bamboo from the bamboo. Learn of
the kugel from the kugel.
-------------------------------------------------
MEL: Hurrrrraahhh! By George, we finally got something!...Now, tell us your
understanding, or interpretation..dualistically-speaking, of course....
------------------------------------------------------
Be aware of your body.
-------------------------------------
MEL: You're doing well! Keep goin...
----------------------------------------------
Be aware of your perceptions.
------------------------------------
MEL: I take it you really mean...just be aware of what you perceive, yes?
------------------------------------------------
Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal
illness.
------------------------------------------------------
MEL:...Hmmm..you're not so bad after all...
--------------------------------------------------
If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
-------------------------------------------------
MEL: Owwwww! What did you do there?!
--------------------------------------------
Those who know do not kibitz. Those who kibitz do not know.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining
Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
Do not kvetch. Be a kvetch. Become one with your whining.
----------------------------------------------------------
MEL: Ok...I'll forgive you, but only this time..
----------------------------------------------------
The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does
not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not
Jewish.
----------------------------------------------
MEL: Gee willikers, you're tellin' me. Ummmm...wasn't this posting suppose to
be about the Jewish Buddha, or somethin'?
-------------------------------------------------
Whenever you feel anger, you should say, "May I be free of this anger!" This
rarely works, but talking to yourself in public will encourage others to leave
you alone.
-----------------------------------------------
MEL: Oh yes, okaly-dokay-do! And don't forget that during zazen you say,"I'll
be calm, calm....I'm calming down..."
----------------------------------------------
Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second,
satisfaction. With the third, a nice piece of Danish.
---------------------------------------------------
MEL: Oh, dear me..yes, everything is in stages...*laughter*...
-----------------------------------------------
The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient
beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to
be Jewish?
------------------------------------------------
MEL: HE did? I'm glad to meet someone who actually spoke to him
-----------------------------------------------------
Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.
----------------------------------------------------
MEL: Confucius would love you
------------------------------------------
In nature, there is no good or bad, better or worse. The wind may blow or not.
The flowering branch grows long or short. Do not judge or prefer. Ask only, "Is
it good for the Jews?"
--------------------------------------------
MEL: Sense of humor..that's important..*grin*...
------------------------------------------------------
To find the Buddha, look within.
-----------------------------------
MEL: That's not what you said upstairs!
-----------------------------------------
Deep inside you are 10,000 flowers. Each flower blossoms 10,000 times. Each
blossom has 10,000 petals. You might want to see a specialist.
---------------------------------------------------
MEL: After this posting, I might..
----------------------------------------
Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you
have? Bupkes.
-----------------------------------------------
MEL: Yes big Bubba..or daddy...
----------------------------------------------------
>From "Zen Judaism: For You a Little Enlightenment" by David M. Bader (Harmony
>Books) 2002
www.extremely.com/zen
------------------------------------
MEL: So that's your name...David...Hello David!
Mel
