A haiku is a poem with elements of nature (such as spring, flowers, the moon, etc.) and has a total of 17 syllables in three lines, such that the first line has 5 syllables, the second has 7 and the third has 5, whereby 5 + 7 + 5 = 17.
As for your poignant poem, dear Indira, I believe you can do the math to determine whether it is a haiku: 5 + 6 + 8 = ?
Here are a couple of examples of haikus:
Parallel parking
Parallel parking
difficult to accomplish;
necessary 'tho.
That was written ages ago by my wife, Marissa Blackman Suri, and is actually a senriyu like yours could be (a "haiku" about something other than nature), should you pare yours conform to the defined structure.
Tangerine
Thumb in tangerine,
parting succulent morsels,
savor tart and sweet.
The tangerine provides this haiku the element of nature (fruit) and follows the 5, 7, 5 syllabic structure. As to how good it is depends on the reader/auditor's subjective opinion.
How's this suggestion for turning your poem into a senriyu?:
Always cut to fit
into your expectations;
ever to fit mine?
into your expectations;
ever to fit mine?
Mani
Indira Babbellapati <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
always cut to fit
into your measurements
will i ever fit into mine?
tell me, is this a haiku?![]()
--
You are encouraged to post poetry, respond critically to the poems circulated and participate in discussions. To post, email your message to [email protected] OR post online at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZESTPoets/post/
Tell friends to subscribe to ZESTPoets by sending a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED], OR, if they have a Yahoo! ID, by visiting http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZESTPoets/join/
---theZESTcommunity--------------
[1] ZESTCurrent: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZESTCurrent/
[2] ZESTEconomics: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZESTEconomics/
[3] ZESTGlobal: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZESTGlobal/
[4] ZESTMedia: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZESTMedia/
[5] ZESTPoets: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZESTPoets/
[6] ZESTCaste: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZESTCaste/
[7] ZESTAlternative: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZESTAlternative/
[8] TalkZEST: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TalkZEST/
---
SPONSORED LINKS
| Writing book | Writing child book | Business writing book |
| Book writing software | Writing and publishing a book | Writing poetry |
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
- Visit your group "ZESTPoets" on the web.
- To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
- Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
