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The foucs on gender is what's sexist, both traditional and oppositional. 
Feminists would rather have us see individuals who are male and individuals who 
are female rather than men and women. Each individual in the world is equal. 
They are the same in potentials and free will, but the use of their free will 
they can turn the into individualities who are unique and therefore different. 
Categories like male, female, or any other categories only exist in so far as 
their are male, female, etc. individuals that keep those categories in 
existence. Groups, clubs, societies, alliances, associations, leagues, 
families, 
state, countries, unions, companies, corporations, etc. only exists via the 
existence of their constituent individual members. If you split any mumber of 
people into several abritrary group via coin tosses or other random stats, you 
would wind up with each individual being the same in that they are all 
individuals, yet different via the free will to be unique. Males and females 
are 
no different from other categories.

On oppostional sexism:
http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2009/09/09/oppositional-sexism-and-traditional-sexism/
 
http://deardiaspora.wordpress.com/2009/08/05/a-few-thoughts-on-identity-oppositional-sexism/

http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/06/trials-and-travails-of-transness.html

http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/06/trials-and-travails-of-transness-dude.html

http://www.juliaserano.com/whippinggirl.html
http://feed.belowthebelt.org/2009/09/gender-whipped-engagements-with-julia.html

Serano contributes significantly to feminist theory and practice by providing 
us 
with a concise way of categorizing the different forms of sexism in Western 
societies. She argues that sexism is a two-fold phenomenon, consisting of 
“oppositional” and “traditional” elements. Oppositional sexism is “the belief 
that female and male are rigid, mutually exclusive categories” (13). A man 
should not have any of the “attributes, aptitudes, abilities, and desires” 
commonly associated with women, and vice-versa (13). Anyone who does not follow 
this schema, any manly women or womanly men, should be dismissed and punished 
for disobeying the divine, natural and social order that deemed the two genders 
to be mutually exclusive opposites. On the other hand, traditional sexism is 
“the belief that maleness and masculinity are superior to femaleness and 
femininity” (14). This type of sexism specifically demeans all feminine persons 
(many of whom are females) by characterizing their activities as frivolous and 
justifying their exclusion from certain jobs and positions of social authority. 
Thus, according to Serano, sexism is a commonly held belief system that 
conceptualizes males and females as strict oppositional categories and sets up 
a 
hierarchy in which men and masculinity are considered superior to women and 
femininity.
>Feminists and queer theorists have failed to recognize this dual aspect of 
>sexism, which is one of the reasons why they often seem to talk past each 
>other. 
>Queer theorists have focused on oppositional sexism: they have analyzed and 
>railed against binary gender norms, which push people to fit their identities 
>and behaviors into carefully prescribed masculine and feminine boxes. On the 
>other hand, feminists have concentrated their efforts on studying and fighting 
>against the more traditional forms of sexism: the oppression of women and 
>their 
>social subordination to men. 
>


      
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