Thank Michael. I think the changes made are improving the clarity of the text.
Yours, Daniel On Sat, Dec 3, 2022, 22:14 Michael Richardson <mcr+i...@sandelman.ca> wrote: > > internet-dra...@ietf.org wrote: > > There is also an HTML version available at: > > > https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-homenet-front-end-naming-delegation-23.html > > > A diff from the previous version is available at: > > > https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-homenet-front-end-naming-delegation-23 > > Some notes from me. > I've touched quite a lot of text through the document. > It took me a half day on Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday/Friday and today to do. > (counting staring at the cat to figure out what to write) > > I have the advantage of not having really read it for a few months, so my > proof reading is, I hope, beneficial to understanding without changing > any content. > > I did however, delete figure 1, because it's basically repeated by figure > 2, > and I redrew figure 2 with asciio, and then made sure that it translated to > SVG well. That made me adjust some things, and it had to fit in 72 columns > too. I wound up truncating "Zo"ne. in one place. > > I see one place where markdown slipped through in {#sec-zone-delete}, and > it's fixed in git. > > The technical place which I posted about a few days ago concerns where the > Notifies go. I have placed them into the Control Channel. > > Note that the Control Channel offers: > 1. AXFR to get the zone template. > 2. DNSUPD to change the NS (Synchronization Channel), and the DS records. > 3. receipt of Notify to poke the Synchization process. > > I have added some words about EKU on the certificates involved, basically > saying to please ignore them. I posted to dnsop, and Daniel forwarded my > query onwards, about this, as RFC9103 is silent about this. Ignoring them > might be important, because if DOI Operator gets their certificates from > LetsEncrypt via dns-01 challenge (a totally reasonable thing to do), then > they probably will have an EKU with *WWW* TLS Client and *WWW* TLS Server > bits set. > > I have tried to insert some of the more common terms from RFC8499, but > there > aren't enough terms, and the term "DOI" remains, and I'd be happy to > replace > it, but suggestions of "External DNS" are wrong. That would be confusing, > and that term is never properly defined. > > I've also expanded DOI several times more often than required, and the RPC > will freak about that, but I think it's worthwhile repeating what it means > a > few times since the term is so awkward. > > There are probably some typos and some repeated words, but I hope that the > text is better. > > -- > Michael Richardson <mcr+i...@sandelman.ca> . o O ( IPv6 IøT consulting ) > Sandelman Software Works Inc, Ottawa and Worldwide > > > > > _______________________________________________ > homenet mailing list > homenet@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/homenet >
_______________________________________________ homenet mailing list homenet@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/homenet
