Thank y'all for your helpful responses.
I think what I'll try is a little modification to Tom's code:

If(Find in array(aListOfMorons;current user))
   make a video showing them what to do
else
  // normal operation
end if

Actually it's quicker to make a little video than to write an email, and
with some people this is a better approach.

Pat

On 4 October 2017 at 15:29, Chip Scheide <4d_o...@pghrepository.org> wrote:

> As Doug said different people learn differently.
>
> Things to try:
> - more or different style of training. i.e. instead of a presentation
> give written documentation, instead of written documentation, show the
> user and ask them to take their own notes (this helps as they have to
> think through the process as they write), instead of any sort of
> written/shown direction, tell them the necessary steps (some people can
> not process visually well and still retain the information).
>
> more of a stick then carrot...
> - IF the support you are providing costs $ (i.e. the customer is paying
> for it), make sure to include the support requester's boss, or other
> designated client-side support contact. As potentially, they will track
> the requests and costs associated with support requests.
> - implement a support limit (after which a cost burden is incurred -
> you can always wave this to make the customer happy, appear to be
> giving them a break), the client is allowed X amount of free support
> time, or y amount of support calls, or z amount of support email
> requests. Document heavy support users in feedback to the client.
>
> remember:
> “Think of how stupid the *average* person is, and realize half of them
> are stupider than that.”
> ― George Carlin  (emphasis mine)
>
> Also :
> "Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
> and despite the changing fortunes of time,
> There is always a big future in computer maintenance."
>
> You are a fluke of the universe.
> You have no right to be here.
> And whether you can hear it or not,
> The universe is laughing behind your back.
> - National Lampoon : Deteriorata
>
> Full Lyrics:
> http://www.songlyrics.com/national-lampoon/deteriorata-lyrics/
> Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ey6ugTmCYMk (missing the
> intro 20 seconds but has great animation)
>
> On Wed, 4 Oct 2017 12:39:59 +0100, Pat Bensky via 4D_Tech wrote:
> > Users are beginning to get to me :)
> > Some of them WILL NOT follow instructions to accomplish something, no
> > matter how simple those instructions are.
> > I currently have one who is particularly bad!
> > I sent him an email detailing how to accomplish a particular task. It
> > contained an easy-to-follow 1-2-3 step-by-step guide with screenshots. I
> > spent ages writing it.
> > He called a bit later that day to say that it didn't work.
> > Did a screen-share with him and it was obvious that he hadn't followed
> the
> > instructions. I asked him:
> > "Did you read my email?|
> > "Oh", he replied, "I didn't read the whole thing."
> >
> > AAAAARGH!!!
> >
> > He has just done the same thing again today (with a different procedure).
> > Also I explained (in a email that he can re-read as often as necessary)
> why
> > another feature wasn't working the way he wanted it to, and how to fix
> it,
> > and he has just complained about that same issue again too.
> >
> > How do you deal with people like this?
> >
> > (sorry about the rant)
> >
> > Pat
> >
> > --
> > *************************************************
> > CatBase - Top Dog in Data Publishing
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> > skype: pat.bensky
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