Good one n so lively Sent from my iPhone
> On 02-Aug-2019, at 2:29 PM, Rahul Bajaj <rahul.bajaj10...@gmail.com> wrote: > > Thanks, all. My aim in writing this post was to underscore the importance of > learning how to assert yourself, even when it is against your own family. > Just yesterday, as I was exploring accommodation options for my upcoming > fellowship in London, my father was insisting that I travel by taxi from my > hotel to my workplace, even though it is an accessible 10 minute route or > take a more expensive hotel just across the street from the office. You are > not going there to exercise, he said. If we need to pay personally to opt for > more expensive accommodation, we will. Someone from office can help you > cross the street. > > For someone who has always had sight, imagining a world without it always > remains impossible. Sometimes, persuasion is the solution; on other > occasions, simply learning to back yourself and the choices you make. > > Best, > Rahul > > > Best, > Rahul > > Sent from my iPhone > >> On Aug 1, 2019, at 9:15 AM, Rohith P <p.roh...@gmail.com> wrote: >> >> Enjoyed reading it, Rahul. >> I too can relate to many of your experiences. I recall how my >> "protective" family did not allow me to join JNU for MA. >> Regards, >> Rohith >> >>> On 8/1/19, Ajay Minocha <ajayminoc...@gmail.com> wrote: >>> Rahul, This makes me recall all your emails/posts which are rightly >>> mentioned in this outstanding piece. >>> >>> Although you certainly deserve a pat on your back for all your >>> achievements but according to me, your biggest achievement has been >>> the ability to trust yourself and ask all your doubts without any >>> hesitation. >>> >>> Saying this from my personal experience, it takes ounces of will power >>> to take that first step! >>> >>> All the best for all your future endeavors! >>> >>> >>>> On 31/07/2019, George Abraham <geo...@eyeway.org> wrote: >>>> Enjoyed reading the piece. Certainly inspire many of us. I like your >>>> style. >>>> >>>> Best >>>> >>>> George >>>> >>>> -----Original Message----- >>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On >>>> Behalf >>>> Of shahid.se...@gmail.com >>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 31, 2019 3:51 PM >>>> To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues >>>> concerning >>>> the disabled.' >>>> Subject: Re: [AI] Living independently in a faraway land >>>> >>>> FYI >>>> LIVING INDEPENDENTLY IN A FARAWAY LAND >>>> Posted on July 26, 2019 by Rahul Bajaj >>>> >>>> I have often made references on this blog to how living alone for the >>>> first >>>> time has been a key reason why the last year has been so transformative >>>> for >>>> me. I can see why that might seem odd to some. Why should a 25-year-old >>>> man >>>> living away from his family be noteworthy? Isn’t that just how things are >>>> supposed to be, they might wonder. However, when I step back to reflect on >>>> how my life has thus far unfolded from the standpoint of independent >>>> living, >>>> it becomes apparent why this has been such a significant development. >>>> Until >>>> I moved to Delhi to take up my first job, my life in my home town was very >>>> circumscribed. >>>> I’d have always access to a driver to get to places. Things like doing the >>>> laundry independently, cooking my own food or washing my utensils had >>>> never >>>> even crossed my mind. I always took what was at once both a privilege and >>>> a >>>> burden and a blessing and a ‘golden cage’ for granted. >>>> In a country like India, in which the status quo essentially results in >>>> the >>>> disabled being relegated to the fringes of society, I have always >>>> recognized >>>> my good fortune in having access to the resources critical for me to make >>>> good the major deficit of having a severe impairment. However, the same >>>> resources which freed me from the shackles imposed by my disability >>>> sometimes handicapped me in other ways. >>>> When I was in school, I’d always be accompanied by a sighted helper who >>>> took >>>> me everywhere, took my notes for me, dropped me home after school and so >>>> on. >>>> Some of my classmates would sometimes speak with her rather than me when >>>> they wanted to find out how many marks I had scored in an exam, for >>>> instance. >>>> When I was around 17 and in junior college, I felt socially isolated, >>>> having >>>> no group of friends from school or junior college with whom I met on a >>>> regular basis. I posted about this problem on a mailing list for blind >>>> people, Access India. I got uniformly lambasted, and in retrospect >>>> rightly, >>>> for always going everywhere in the company of a sighted helper even at >>>> that >>>> age. It was then that I first recognized the importance of breaking free >>>> of >>>> my chains which I had until then perceived as a privilege. >>>> After examining from close quarters the superficial relationship that many >>>> children share with their parents, I have come to acquire a newfound >>>> appreciation for my family’s concern in my well being which, though >>>> sometimes misplaced and unfounded, is always rooted in a sense of being >>>> deeply invested in my welfare. I still remember the heated arguments that >>>> I >>>> would have with my family every time I would voice a desire to go for a >>>> conference to a different city or pursue an internship. >>>> I found myself locked in a vicious cycle. Because of the patterns of >>>> dependence that I had gotten habituated to, I always had to be accompanied >>>> by a family member if I wanted to travel to a new city. This naturally >>>> meant >>>> that the cost to be incurred and resources and energy to be invested in >>>> the >>>> project, got doubled. When this was the investment that had to be made to >>>> so >>>> much as travel to a nearby city for a conference, naturally, few things >>>> seemed so important as to justify this investment. >>>> One of my role models whose journey never ceases to inspire me is American >>>> Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor. I suppose the key reason for this >>>> is >>>> the grace and equanimity with which she has dealt with her impairment, >>>> childhood diabetes and never allowed her impairment of childhood diabetes >>>> to >>>> limit the scope of her aspirations. In her book, My Beloved World, she >>>> movingly talks about the difficulty she faced in convincing her family >>>> about >>>> the importance of pursuing ambitions with which her family was unfamiliar >>>> and then achieving them. While her grandmother eventually allowed her to >>>> go >>>> study at Princeton, she recalls, the former never fully grasped the >>>> significance of this opportunity in Sotomayor’s life, viewing it as just >>>> one >>>> of the many things her granddaughter wanted to do. >>>> Around 2 years ago, when someone with whom I was close friends at the time >>>> was getting married and I expressed the wish to travel independently for >>>> the >>>> marriage, I got a series of worried messages from my father. “I wake up at >>>> 5 >>>> AM every morning,” he wrote in one anxious text, “overcome with anxiety >>>> about how you will manage to travel and live alone in a new city.” >>>> As is always my preferred approach, I tried to reason with him, to point >>>> out >>>> the concrete solutions to every problem I might face during the journey. >>>> My >>>> parents’ resistance, however, though doubtless based on unconditional love >>>> and concern, was, beyond a point, irrational. It was rooted in the simple >>>> thought: for someone who is blind, even one mistake might be one too many, >>>> forever negatively colouring the rest of your life. And irrational >>>> resistance can rarely be overcome through rational argument. >>>> However, we argued, cried, fought and argued some more. And slowly but >>>> surely, the wheels began turning. I did travel for that wedding alone. I >>>> did >>>> go alone to give talks and the like. >>>> Still, living alone in a new country seemed like a bridge too far. To be >>>> sure, my concern with a parent living with me in Oxford was not the >>>> visceral >>>> reaction you might expect from some people my age, I would like to think. >>>> (When I told one American acquaintance that we were contemplating the >>>> possibility of my mother living with me, she immediately replied “Yikes, >>>> that would have been so suffocating!” >>>> No, I fully realized that this arrangement would, as a practical matter, >>>> make things easier. I would not have to worry about cooking my food, doing >>>> the laundry, keeping everything in an orderly fashion and so on. However, >>>> what outstripped all of these perceived advantages was a recognition of >>>> the >>>> fact that sometimes, doing what is hard and uncomfortable and seemingly >>>> insurmountable is the right thing to do. >>>> And so, after much back and forth, it was decided that my mother would >>>> llive >>>> with me for six weeks and then I would be on my own. Now, when I reflect >>>> on >>>> the last year, I think it would be fair to say that I have certainly made >>>> progress. I can do all the things I was worried about on my own, though >>>> perhaps not as skillfully as I might like yet. >>>> However, I still receive significant support from the Rhodes Trust for my >>>> nonacademic needs. In the coming year, my aim will be to make this human >>>> support unnecessary to the extent I can. Because I don’t see this period >>>> as >>>> just being about growing academically, attending interesting talks, >>>> writing >>>> challenging essays and meeting celebrities. It is also a period of pushing >>>> personal boundaries and finding new paths for self growth. >>>> Recently, when I got selected to pursue a summer fellowship in London, our >>>> same old conversation recommenced in my house. Making these arrangements >>>> is >>>> just a matter of a few years, my father said. Thereafter, you will get >>>> married and always have the support you need. >>>> Never having dated someone in my life, in part because of the >>>> circumscribed >>>> life I have lived owing to the self-imposed limitations I have often >>>> placed >>>> on myself, I vehemently resisted this idea. However, I did so in terms >>>> that >>>> would turn the very same argument on its head. Which girl, I asked him, >>>> would like to marry a partner who does not even possess the wherewithal to >>>> live alone in a city like London. >>>> While I do not think finding a partner should be what motivates a person >>>> to >>>> strive for greater independence, this response did achieve its desired >>>> goal >>>> of making him recognize the sheer absurdity of that argument which is all >>>> I >>>> was hoping to achieve. What was until then an argument for dependence then >>>> became an argument for greater independence. “You have truly become a >>>> lawyer,” he sighed. >>>> >>>> >>>> -----Original Message----- >>>> From: AccessIndia <accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in> On Behalf Of >>>> Asudani, Rajesh >>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 31, 2019 2:21 PM >>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning >>>> the disabled. <accessindia@accessindia.org.in> >>>> Subject: Re: [AI] Living independently in a faraway land >>>> >>>> Please somebody post the contents of the piece as in office I am unable to >>>> open the said site and read. >>>> >>>> >>>> सादर / With thanks & Regards >>>> राजेश आसुदानी Rajesh Asudani >>>> सहायक महाप्रबन्धक AGM >>>> बाजार आसूचना ईकाई MIU >>>> भारतीय रिजर्व बैंक Reserve Bank of India नागपुर Nagpur >>>> >>>> 0712 2806846 >>>> >>>> President >>>> VIBEWA >>>> Co-Moderator >>>> VIB-India >>>> President >>>> DARE-Disability Advocacy, Research and Education A-pilll = Action coupled >>>> with Positivity, Interest, Love, Logic and laughter >>>> >>>> -----Original Message----- >>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On >>>> Behalf >>>> Of Shruti Pushkarna >>>> Sent: 30 July 2019 14:48 >>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning >>>> the disabled.; rahul.bajaj10...@gmail.com >>>> Subject: Re: [AI] Living independently in a faraway land >>>> >>>> Nice read, Rahul! >>>> >>>> Shruti >>>> >>>> On Tue, 30 Jul 2019 at 13:49, Rahul Bajaj <rahul.bajaj10...@gmail.com> >>>> wrote: >>>> >>>>> Not my finest piece of writing, but might nonetheless be of some >>>>> interest: >>>>> https://isitjustmeorgroup.wordpress.noclick_com/2019/07/26/living-inde >>>>> pendently-in-a-faraway-land/ >>>>> >>>>> Sent from my iPhone >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>> http://www.mail-archive.noclick_com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>>> >>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>> >>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>> please visit the list home page at >>>>> http://accessindia.org.noclick_in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessi >>>>> ndia.org.in >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Disclaimer: >>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>>> of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>>> veracity; >>>>> >>>>> 2. 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AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails >>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> Search for old postings at: >>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>> >>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>> >>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>> please >>>> visit the list home page at >>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>> >>>> >>>> Disclaimer: >>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >>>> the >>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >>>> >>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails >>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> Search for old postings at: >>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>> >>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>> >>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>> please >>>> visit the list home page at >>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>> >>>> >>>> Disclaimer: >>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >>>> the >>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >>>> >>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails >>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>> >>>> >>> >>> >>> -- >>> Ajay Minocha >>> Mob : +91-9584076767 >>> E mail : ajayminoc...@gmail.com >>> p13aj...@iimidr.ac.in >>> Skype: ajayminocha2 >>> >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please >>> visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Disclaimer: >>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the >>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >>> >>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails >>> sent through this mailing list.. >>> >>> >> >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Disclaimer: >> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the >> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >> >> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails >> sent through this mailing list.. >> > > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. > Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
