this is problem with scholars.
they know everything and they can say everything

On 7/2/14, avinash shahi <shahi88avin...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I think we all beg to be loved, caressed and respected... Aren't we?...
>
> And If I simply put it, in India the weight attached and feelings
> associated with girlfriend/boyfriend, marriage, love, wife, husband
> and dchildren can make anybody beggar at times. Sociology of human
> heart is very tricky to understand,you know. Where is that guy who
> started this thread? Could you please wind up with your final comment,
> please?
>
>
> On 7/2/14, ishita kapoor <ishitakapoor...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> dear bhavani sir.
>> those blind girls who have good jobs can get poor  or socially
>> backward sighted boy easily.
>>
>> On 7/2/14, ishita kapoor <ishitakapoor...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> To adjust with colleagues is totally different thing.
>>> only self motivation is not enough in real life. we can't prove
>>> anything by 1 or 2 examples. blindness is limitation. and noone  wish
>>> to live willingly with the person with disability.
>>>
>>> I have heard many stories of disable and non disable life partners.
>>> Just try to find reality in those stories. You will find some  problem
>>> it may be social or economical in non disable person who has married
>>> blind person.
>>>
>>>
>>> On 7/2/14, Asudani, Rajesh <rajeshasud...@rbi.org.in> wrote:
>>>> Positive musings of Preet jee are well taken.
>>>> However, again saying that we are trying to keep blindness out of the
>>>> whole
>>>> thing defeats the very purpose.
>>>> Blindness matters, and will matter, positively or negatively, come what
>>>> may...
>>>>
>>>> If we can be positive by living in denial, so be it..
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
>>>> Behalf
>>>> Of Preeti Monga
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 3:43 PM
>>>> To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
>>>> concerning
>>>> the disabled.'
>>>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>>>
>>>> Dear  Ishita,
>>>>
>>>> one must not go shopping for husbands or wives. We are not giving
>>>> people
>>>> a
>>>> choice to marry blind partners or sighted ones! What we are trying to
>>>> do
>>>> is,
>>>> keep blindness out of the whole thing. Coming back to that fact of
>>>> being
>>>> contributers, if there is something you have, which may be wanted by
>>>> and
>>>> admired by the other person looking for in his spouse, he/she will want
>>>> to
>>>> come forward and marry us. Now I do understand the 'poor blind girl', I
>>>> too
>>>> face it so often. Ever so often this is the case, but this is also
>>>> something
>>>> that is conditioned to keep our   esteem down so that we dont begin to
>>>> compete with the rest of them. Everyones biggest   problem is 'what
>>>> others
>>>> are saying or thinking about me'?
>>>> If we are going to live like that, I can assure you, you are going to
>>>> never
>>>> live life to itsfullest! Lots of people, including a lot of my family
>>>> members don't aprove of all that I do. That has never stopped me from
>>>> anything... if I had allowed it to do so, I would still be sitting at
>>>> home
>>>> at my parents home and wasting my life eating and moarning... instead
>>>> of
>>>> having a great time living life with all its challanges and fun! So
>>>> come
>>>> on,
>>>> every drop counts. I know the challanges we have to face, but does that
>>>> mean
>>>> that we sit around waiting for them to take care of themselves? We will
>>>> only
>>>> live once the world  begins to think differently about us? It will
>>>> never
>>>> happen! We have to make it happen for ourselves. and slowly things will
>>>> change for each one of us.
>>>> Preeti
>>>>
>>>> Preeti Monga
>>>> Director
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Mobile: +91 9871701646
>>>> Landline: 011 22781446
>>>> E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in
>>>> Website: www.silver-linings.co.in  ;  www.silver-linings.org
>>>> Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training
>>>> -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting -
>>>> Corporate
>>>> ; Promotional;  Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying
>>>> workshops  and counseling. Printing Solutions,  Incentive Travel and
>>>> Marketing Data Mining / Refining..
>>>>
>>>> We  assure  high quality service marked with excellence and complete
>>>> customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
>>>> Behalf
>>>> Of ishita kapoor
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 2:50 PM
>>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
>>>> concerning
>>>> the disabled.
>>>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>>>
>>>> Dear preety madam,
>>>> I can understand through your real example that marriage between
>>>> disable and non disable is not always disastrous
>>>> But I am being reasonable in stead of being positive or negative.
>>>> If a person gets able bodied life partner then why he or she should
>>>> accept blind person?
>>>> Madam, this isn't question of Indian or American mentality.
>>>> Blindness is big problem.
>>>> Blindness is not as simple and easy as you are describing.
>>>> Fortunatlly I have vision right now. But if I will loss it, people
>>>> will know me by my blindness more then my real name.
>>>> If I will do something good, they will say: see that blind girl has
>>>> done really great job.
>>>> If I will fail in something they will say: bechari blind hai to thik
>>>> se nahi kar paai.
>>>> Blindness will always come first in our over all personality.
>>>> People can accept us as a friend or employee easily with our
>>>> blindness. But the same people will think twice before accepting blind
>>>> life partner.
>>>> Rather they will accept blind person as his or her life partner in
>>>> majburi
>>>> only.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On 7/2/14, Preeti Monga <preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in> wrote:
>>>>> Hey, who are these beggers? Not any of us here I hope? You all are all
>>>>> doing
>>>>> wonderfully well... then why are we calling ourselves, or even
>>>>> indicating
>>>>> towards ourselves as beggers!
>>>>>
>>>>> Life is our choice, you are whatever you have chosen to be... so let
>>>>> us
>>>>> first of all choose to be beggers! We all deserve the best! How are we
>>>>> going
>>>>> to convince the world that we are great human beings, when we are
>>>>> still
>>>>> referring to ourselves as beggers? I think we need to begin at the
>>>>> very
>>>>> beginning.  Incidently, we have a major disability, on top of that we
>>>>> go
>>>>> ahead and subscribe to being beggers! Amazing! We first have to look
>>>>> at
>>>>> ourselves as the true people we actually are! If we are still not able
>>>>> to
>>>>> do
>>>>> this, how are we even expecting the non disabled society to look at us
>>>>> differently? The world perceives you  in the same way that you look at
>>>>> yourself! Please remember, it is that simple! This is our world, and
>>>>> we
>>>>> are
>>>>> choosing to remain on the dark side of it, then why complain at the
>>>>> way
>>>>> we
>>>>> get  treated? If you say your name is 'begger' then that is exactly
>>>>> what
>>>>> you
>>>>> will be called as or refered to by others! This is what is meant by
>>>>> conditioning.
>>>>>
>>>>> Please do understand, all, each one of us is the very best  and we
>>>>> have
>>>>> equal right and  equal duties by this world! Perform your duties to
>>>>> the
>>>>> best
>>>>> of your abilities, and your rights will come running after you!
>>>>> Warmly
>>>>> Preeti
>>>>>
>>>>> Preeti Monga
>>>>> Director
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Mobile: +91 9871701646
>>>>> Landline: 011 22781446
>>>>> E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in
>>>>> Website: www.silver-linings.co.in  ;  www.silver-linings.org
>>>>> Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting.
>>>>> Training
>>>>> -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting -
>>>>> Corporate
>>>>> ; Promotional;  Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including
>>>>> demystifying
>>>>> workshops  and counseling. Printing Solutions,  Incentive Travel and
>>>>> Marketing Data Mining / Refining..
>>>>>
>>>>> We  assure  high quality service marked with excellence and complete
>>>>> customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
>>>>> Behalf
>>>>> Of Asudani, Rajesh
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 2:24 PM
>>>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
>>>>> concerning
>>>>> the disabled.
>>>>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>>>>
>>>>> Well said Ishita.
>>>>> Motivation is ok, but marriages between blind and sighted, without
>>>>> compromise are rare..
>>>>>
>>>>> Please remember beggars are not choosers....
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
>>>>> Behalf
>>>>> Of ishita kapoor
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 2:10 PM
>>>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
>>>>> concerning
>>>>> the disabled.
>>>>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>>>>
>>>>> I have found the argument of bhavani sir more realistic.
>>>>> Preety madam, if your aim is just to motivate us then your points are
>>>>> valid.
>>>>> I have 40 percent vision.
>>>>> And if I lose it no sighted person will even think to marry me even in
>>>>> dream unless he has social or economical problems.
>>>>> In that case a guy will marry me if he won't get proper match rather
>>>>> any girl in able bodied world,
>>>>> Or if I can offer him lots of money if he is poor
>>>>> Or I have nice job and he has no earning capacity.
>>>>> Otherwise no sighted person will marry me just for the sake of
>>>>> charity.
>>>>> And I don't have any bitter feeling for this belief.
>>>>> Because everyone has right to choose a life partner who is equal in
>>>>> all
>>>>> aspects
>>>>> I can't marry with the guy who doesn't have both arms and both legs.
>>>>> The same way I shouldn't expect such charity from any able bodied man.
>>>>> And yes I won't get promotion if I ask my boss to touch his clothes by
>>>>> saying: sir log kafi tariff kar rahe hai chalo mai bhi chhoo ke dekhu
>>>>> to tariff kar saku.
>>>>> I don't have much experience but still I would like to advice all
>>>>> youngsters that please don't do this.
>>>>> Don't ask anyone that: sir ya madam mai apke kapde dekhna chahta hun
>>>>> ya chahti hun.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> On 7/2/14, Preeti Monga <preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in> wrote:
>>>>>> You are very right!
>>>>>> Preeti
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Preeti Monga
>>>>>> Director
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Mobile: +91 9871701646
>>>>>> Landline: 011 22781446
>>>>>> E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in
>>>>>> Website: www.silver-linings.co.in  ;  www.silver-linings.org
>>>>>> Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting.
>>>>>> Training
>>>>>> -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting -
>>>>>> Corporate
>>>>>> ; Promotional;  Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including
>>>>>> demystifying
>>>>>> workshops  and counseling. Printing Solutions,  Incentive Travel and
>>>>>> Marketing Data Mining / Refining..
>>>>>>
>>>>>> We  assure  high quality service marked with excellence and complete
>>>>>> customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
>>>>>> Behalf
>>>>>> Of Zoher Kheriwala
>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 11:44 AM
>>>>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
>>>>>> concerning
>>>>>> the disabled.
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>>>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>>>>>
>>>>>> In the world we cannot expect every sighted person to get married to
>>>>>> a
>>>>>> blind person, even we cannot expect every blind person to get married
>>>>>> to a blind person. Some of us might have rejected the proposal of
>>>>>> sighted person not because of he or she is sighted but many reasons
>>>>>> other vice. Or if we are rejected by sighted person, it might not be
>>>>>> related to our blindness.
>>>>>> Let me have the courage to make the statement, Many of we blind
>>>>>> people
>>>>>> have the habit to relate our rejection (not only in marriages but
>>>>>> also
>>>>>> in jobs and other sectors) to our blindness, but I am sure that if we
>>>>>> are appealing to the required party then our blindness should not be
>>>>>> of great concern. Yes having some doubt about our work efficiency is
>>>>>> quite natural in the case of sighted partner, this may not be the
>>>>>> case
>>>>>> if we are engaged with blind partner. This is the time when we have
>>>>>> to
>>>>>> show our ability (not only through talking but also through working).
>>>>>> Marrying to a sighted person or vice versa cannot guaranty of
>>>>>> successful married life. It has very little to do with our blindness.
>>>>>> I have married to a blind girl, We have not accepted each other
>>>>>> because we are blind, blindness is just is a coincidence. Let me put
>>>>>> in other words, My life partner happends to be  a person with
>>>>>> blindness.
>>>>>> When we are in a hunt of life partner, we cannot over estimate the
>>>>>> ability of sighted person and we should not under estimate the
>>>>>> ability
>>>>>> of blind partner.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 7/2/14, Shadab Husain <shadab...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> Hey Bhawani bhai, nice quotes! The key point is that there has to be
>>>>>>> some
>>>>>>> "self-interest" for both the parties otherwise the friendship will
>>>>>>> end.
>>>>>>> A
>>>>>>> person with financial poverty and emotional richness can provide
>>>>>>> emotional
>>>>>>> support to the emotionally poor but financially rich one and thus
>>>>>>> can
>>>>>>> be
>>>>>>> equal in status. Can we apply it on a blind marrying a sighted?
>>>>>>> Disagree
>>>>>>> with it, but I won't - especially after seeing so many examples on
>>>>>>> Access
>>>>>>> India.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
>>>>>> Behalf
>>>>>>> Of bhawani shankar verma
>>>>>>> Sent: 02 July 2014 07:13
>>>>>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and
>>>>>>> issuesconcerning
>>>>>>> the disabled.
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>>>>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in
>>>>>>> status.
>>>>>>> Such
>>>>>>> friendships will never give you any happiness."
>>>>>>>    - Chanakya
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> "There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no
>>>>>>> friendship
>>>>>>> without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
>>>>>>>    - Chanakya
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> both quotations should also be applied regarding partnership.
>>>>>>> marriage
>>>>>>> is
>>>>>> a
>>>>>>> social partnership between to parties where they have joined each
>>>>>>> other
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> satisfy their physical and emotional desires.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>> From: "aditi shah" <shahaditi1...@gmail.com>
>>>>>>> To: "accessindia" <accessindia@accessindia.org.in>
>>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2014 6:24 PM
>>>>>>> Subject: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>>>>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Hi there everyone,
>>>>>>>> Have been reading this discussion since a few days, so felt like
>>>>>>>> expressing my views as well.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> We are all humans blind or not, and we have our own set of skills.
>>>>>>>> There might be areas we are extremely good at or there might be
>>>>>>>> areas
>>>>>>>> we cannot do much, in case of us blind it may be because of our
>>>>>>>> disability whereas incase of sighted it might be due to other
>>>>>>>> reasons.
>>>>>>>> According to me, a happy married life demands a set of some basic
>>>>>>>> skills, like understanding, cooking, up bringing of kids, earning,
>>>>>>>> socializing, etc.
>>>>>>>> Again, these basic requirements differ depending on what kind of a
>>>>>>>> lifestyle one has.
>>>>>>>> So, in my view, it does not really matter whether we are marrying a
>>>>>>>> sighted or a blind, what matters is whether our's and our partner's
>>>>>>>> skills can meet those basic requirements or not.
>>>>>>>> Considering this, I disagree from the belief that if a blind has to
>>>>>>>> marry a sighted, he has to make compromises like marrying someone
>>>>>>>> economically or intellectually weaker than us.
>>>>>>>> If a blind who is earning well or is from a well-to-do family or
>>>>>>>> may
>>>>>>>> be is extremely qualified marries a sighted from a weaker economic
>>>>>>>> background or qualification, it is not a compromise as far as both
>>>>>>>> partners together possess the required skills.
>>>>>>>> Even if a blind is marrying a blind, and both of them can manage to
>>>>>>>> do
>>>>>>>> the required things, may be in ways different than the normal
>>>>>>>> world,
>>>>>>>> they can indeed have a successful married life.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> So, it is not about being blind or sighted, it is always about
>>>>>>>> finding
>>>>>>>> that someone such that with understanding, you can both match up
>>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>>> each other's shortcomings.
>>>>>>>> Life partners are like two pieces of a puzzle, one has to find the
>>>>>>>> other half that fits perfectly, lest we got to spend our entire
>>>>>>>> life
>>>>>>>> filling the gaps.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Regards,
>>>>>>>> aditi
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing
>>>>>>>> accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on:
>>>>>>>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_acc
>>>>>>>> essindia.org.in
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Search for old postings at:
>>>>>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/
>>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
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>>>>>> ia.org.in
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>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> --
>>>>>> together we can and we will make the differnce
>>>>>> Zoher
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing
>>>>>> accessibility
>>>>>> of
>>>>>> mobile phones / Tabs on:
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>>>>>> sent through this mailing list..
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>>>>>
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>
>
> --
> Avinash Shahi
> M.Phil Research Scholar
> Centre for The Study of Law and Governance
> Jawaharlal Nehru University
> New Delhi India
>
>
>
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> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity;
>
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> sent through this mailing list..
>



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Disclaimer:
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