This has been hanging out in my drafts folder since the beginning of this year. I've decided to finish it up and post it for the sake of entertainment.
{This is a public contract known as Rent-a-Self. Membership in this contract is restricted to players. Device number is a party-to-this-contract switch, recordkept by the Minotaur, with values 0 (default) and 1. Parties to this contract are known as Masters if this value is 0, and Slaves if it is 1. Parties to this contract other than non-Emancipated Slaves can switch their device number or leave this contract by announcement. The Minotaur is a position held by an active party to this contract. If it would not be held by any active party, it is held by the active person who has been a party the longest. The Minotaur can transfer the position to a different party by announcement, and SHALL do so if e is unable or unwilling to carry out the Minotaur's duties. For each Slave, that Slave's Chain is a singleton asset recordkept by the Minotaur and initially owned by the Lost and Found Department. Ownership of Chains is restricted to Masters. A Slave is Emancipated if eir Chain is owned by the LFD. An Emancipated Slave CAN transfer eir Chain to any Master by announcement. A Protected Action is defined as deregistering, agreeing to a contract, transferring away an asset, or speaking. A Master can act on behalf of any Slave whose Chain e owns to take any non-Protected action. A non-Emancipated Slave SHALL NOT take any non-Protected action in Agora; if e does, e SHOULD NOT be punished until e is no longer a non-Emancipated Slave. If a Slave has been non-Emancipated continuously for 90 days, e becomes Emancipated.} —Wannabe Minotaur Tanner L. Swett