Ok, so this could be modified to incorporate any number of discovery tools, database of your choice, PC vendor you like (or dislike), etc. But you may find it funny and can perform your own variable substitution.
"A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a BrioniR suit, GucciR shoes, RayBanR sunglasses and YSLR tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his DellR notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3R cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe PhotoshopR and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ... Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm PilotR that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQLR database through an ODBC connected ExcelR spreadsheet with email on his BlackberryR and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJetR printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog. AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT." Phil Bautista, WWRUG13 Advisory Board 512-731-0304 Social - <http://www.facebook.com/phil.bautista> http://www.facebook.com/phil.bautista Business - <http://www.linkedin.com/in/philbautista> http://www.linkedin.com/in/philbautista WWRUG12 - <http://www.wwrug11.com/contact_phil.html> http://www.wwrug12.com/contact_phil.html _______________________________________________________________________________ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org "Where the Answers Are, and have been for 20 years"
