April fool.....

From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) 
[mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Easter, David
Sent: Monday, April 01, 2013 3:02 AM
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: OT: BMC going private

**
I'm sure many of you have seen the news articles on BMC going private - e.g. 
Exclusive: Buyout firms team up to take BMC Software private - 
sources<http://finance.yahoo.com/news/exclusive-buyout-firms-team-bmc-152725678.html>.
   I just wanted to assure everyone that this will be nothing but a positive 
for the future of AR System.  By removing the need to answer to shareholder 
value, BMC can be less conservative about innovation choices - which could lead 
to substantial leaps forward in user experience and customer return on 
investment.  By melding the two well established idioms of "thinking outside 
the box" and providing "out-of-the-box" functionality, we'll be able to create 
instant value for our customers the first time they interact with our products.

Before even a new line of code is written, BMC Customer Support will be 
implementing new policies to improve BMC's Customer Satisfaction Index (CSI).  
Inspired by the acronym, BMC has created crack teams of IT forensic 
investigators in several major cities that can be called out to the scene of a 
violent IT event - crashes, network issues causing link death, abnormal parent 
or child process termination, etc.  These teams will work on an issue until 
it's resolved or until a new case comes up in the next week - whichever comes 
first.

Another area of focus will be heavier participation in social media.  While BMC 
is active on Twitter and Facebook, we'll be expanding into Vine.  Customers 
will be able to submit a description of their incident to Customer Service as 
long as the issue can be described in six seconds or less.  The response will 
also honor the six second limit of Vine, although content is further limited 
because it takes about five seconds to say "Hi, this is Jeff from BMC Support.  
Our goal at BMC is to provide you with an excellent customer service 
experience."  Related to this, there's an Instagram interface under development 
that will enable customers to take a picture of the error message on their 
screen but make it appear to be from an Apple ][ plus circa 1979.

We've decided that moving AR System to Java was the wrong way to go - so we'll 
be switching over to utilizing more off-the-shelf technologies like 
IFTTT<https://ifttt.com/> to drive workflow and using a modern GUI provided by 
the same engine that drives Minecraft<https://minecraft.net/>.  By using these 
ready-made technologies, we'll be able to realize a huge competitive advantage 
as our developers work on features unique to BMC.  While I can't really talk 
about far futures much, I can say that we're partnering with other technology 
leaders in the industry to get ahead of the curve.  A strong partnership with 
Google is being investigated to create a "driverless help desk".    We'll be 
building on the BMC Virtual Agent technology and Google's driverless car AI to 
work customer submitted help desk tickets to completion while the Technical 
Support Engineer sits back and reads the paper, drinks a latte, etc.

I look forward to sharing this future with all of you.   Amazing possibilities 
resulting in leadership & freedom of opportunity look sensational!

-David J. Easter
Manager of Product Management, AR System
BSM & Atrium Solutions Management
BMC Software, Inc.

The opinions, statements, and/or suggested courses of action expressed in this 
E-mail do not necessarily reflect reality or those of BMC Software, Inc.  My 
voluntary attempt at humor in this forum is not intended to convey a role as a 
spokesperson, liaison or public relations representative for BMC Software, Inc.

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