Especially since The Red States have been completely realigned from
the Disaster of The Bush Years and this barely applies anymore, we
should all know, this letter started circulating somewhere around
June of 2005, at least.
On Oct 21, 2008, at 10:09 PM, Gabrielle Obre wrote:
> I hope this gets a wider read. super funny.
>
> however, if i were a red state republican i would shoot back that
> republicans supposedly have better and more sex...interesting right?
> playboy and some abc poll. but i think they are also more likely to be
> involved in scandals...
>
> > Here's my message
> >
> >
> > Dear Red States:
> >
> > We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
> > we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't
> aware,
> > that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
> > Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this
> > split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people
> > of the new country of New California.
> >
> > To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
> > We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of
> > Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get
> > WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of
> > America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We
> > get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
> pay
> > their fair share.
> >
> > Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
> > Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
> > bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be
> > pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
> > back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your
> > evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to
> > their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show
> > pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you
> > success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not
> > willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
> >
> > With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80
> percent
> > of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
> > and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
> > America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the
> > high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
> > redwoods, equoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools
> > plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other
> > hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans
> > (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S.
> > mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the
> > hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100
> percent
> > of all evangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson
> and the
> > University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
> >
> > Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah
> was
> > actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
> > unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44
> > percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam
> > was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe
> you
> > are people with higher morals then we lefties.
> >
> > Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
> > they grow in Mexico
> >
> > Peace out,
> >
> > The Blue States
> >
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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