Re: This isn't for attention
I don't know if I can get behind the "18 isn't far away" bandwagon here.
In the first place, it's kind of patronizing. It may be true, but it doesn't help much in the moment. Teenagers don't usually have a firm grasp on long-term goal-setting, and I mean that in the least judgmental way possible, although I realize that it sounds harsh when said by a screen reader.
It's also not entirely true that things change all that much when you're 18. Honestly, it's just a number, and the way most people view you won't change. Parents are usually notoriously bad about this; they will always see you as their child, in need of protection, long after you've flown from the nest. And of course, things get a lot more complicated when you still live at home as an adult for any number of reasons. Logic dictates that you should be able to make your own choices, but parents have ground rules that have been long established, and to go against those rules usually feels awkward and dishonorable. I speak from personal experience about all of this.
When I was a teenager, I wanted, more than anything in the world, to make that magic number 18 come faster. I was convinced that it was the answer to all my angst and pain. I thought that being "legal" would make people want to listen to me, hear me out, care about my problems. Because I would be, in the eyes of the law at least, seen as capable, responsible, and able to make my own decisions.
But how foolish of a concept is that, when you really stop to think about it? There are many, many adults who can't manage their own lives, relationships, and financial circumstances in a socially acceptable manner.
And, of course, when I did turn 18, I was severely let down, because, not only did I not get my wish, I also found out that, as an adult, you actually have even less freedom to express your emotions and problems than you do as a teenag er. You have to be seen as capable, and you can't be capable if you rely on others excessively. It also doesn't help that I was raised in a family that encouraged me to bury my emotions, no matter the cost, but that's a whole other story.
I think what I'm getting at here is that, whether you're 17 or 57, it doesn't make a bit of difference. While I would love it if we lived in a world where people were free to relate their experiences with depression without fear of repercussions, we sadly don't live in that world. Depression is a stigmatizing thing, whether it's situational or clinical. If I knew how to make it go away, I would. If I knew how to make the pain of losing an important relationship easier to deal with, I would. The only thing that usually helps in these kinds of situations is time, which isn't what you want to hear, either. But, if nothing else, time provides perspective as it marches on. You'll see things differe ntly eventually, even if it is grudgingly and by necessity.
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