Re: questions about dating and atraction
Interestingly enough, in Alex Comfort's the joy of sex, one of probably the most actively accepting books ever, while he doesn't discourage people from casual hookups and the "swinger" life style, he does note that in effect your probably still going to have problems that way if you don't have some degree of emotional compatibility. Unless you literally don't care about what the other person feels at all and are just focused on yourself, lovemaking is a duet, and if your partner's not on the same page you are, its just not plane going to work out as well, no matter how great a person looks.
As to attraction, oddly enough, people can list features a B C D they find attractive, but basic chemistry is quite another matter.
Theoretically how a person looks or sounds or even how their body is shaped tends be a base aesthetic if the chemistry isn't there, and generally if you don't have the chemistry your experiences won't go as well.
Also bare in mind, that unless your just looking for a one night stand, living with another person, especially an introvert means spending a hell of a lot of time and doing a lot of things totally unrelated to lovemaking, washing up, doing housework together, having dinner with that person of an evening, sitting on train platforms waiting for bloody late trains, getting pissed at Windows updates together etc.
I admit I was rather shocked that within 24 hours of moving in together we felt completely natural with each other, and that my introvertion radar wasn't set off by my lady at all.
this I admit is another problem I have with the hole "you look attractive, lets bonk" form of dating, since if you are actually looking for a life partner that's probably not a good way of finding one.
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