Re: depressed from blindness again
I had a decent amount of vision up until I was 12 or so. My late teens and early 20's were a bit rough at points. I would often sit alone in my room, ruminating on the things I used to be able to do. I would surround myself with thins that reminded me of what I liked as a kid -- movies, video games, etc. Admittedly, I would listen to YouTube playthroughs of games that I played in my younger days just so I could feel the nostalgia of being that young and also having vision.
It's a very perpetual thing, I have to say. I was looking for some sort of satisfaction in feeling like I could escape the blindness, but it never worked. Even when I felt like it did in the moment, it really didn't.
I started focusing on the things that I can do. For example, the computer stuff. That one's a no-brainer. But then I got into sports, and now I strangely follow football at the NFL level. I'm into exercising, some cooking, etc. Just certain things that make me feel like I can do meaningful things in my life.
Let me stop being so self-centered, now. I think you're describing something a lot of people who had even the slightest amount of vision go through. It's a complicated and frustrating situation to deal with. There are even times now when I absently think that my blindness is just a nuisance that I don't deserve. It quickly passes, but it's a pretty debilitating feeling. I've missed out on parties and friend gatherings because of it. It also has to do with how loud those functions can get, and eye contact is so important already, but especially when you lose the ability to effectively listen for things.
Feel free to post out here whenever you feel. I wish I had been more upfront with my blindness-related issues when I was a bit younger. Coming out here, regardless whether folks know you personally on the forum or not, is an admirable thing to do.
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