Re: I just wanna do drugs and get lost in space
Maybe you should test out those new headphones on the freesound catalog, that should provide some distraction given there are so many interesting things to hear...
Sometimes I use slow, bass heavy techno like a drug, if you allow your self to sink into it it's almost like a trans.
I use these two songs at a medium volume in particular to get me started, then fire up a vocal dubstep or melodic dubstep playlist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQs0u4i-wrU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=454NKz8b8_o
Probably focusing on any complex music you like enough could do it, I just find slow rhythms and heavy bass help me get into that zone.
Maybe you should get into Sci-Fi/Fantasy books or audio dramas. Escaping to a complex new world can help. I really like Brandon Sanderson for this in particular.
If nothing works, go outside as much as possible and try to find a greenspace to just, exist in. It won't fix the problem but it helps take the edge off. I remember a feeling of utter hollowness, like I was a black hole of emotion and I couldn't feel anything but that crushing weight you mentioned. It's terrifying and it feels hopeless, but as with everything in life it won't last for ever and you'll be able to look back at it in time knowing you got through it.
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