Re: frustrated with blindness (read post if you want context)
What I was doing was rejecting the NFB-style philosophy which says that you can't ask for help, or shouldn't. When they're training you, it makes sense not to get an easy bail-out unless you're totally screwed and completely panicked or something. But once you're in the real world again, I say use the skills you have as much as you can, and ask for help if you feel like it. As it happens, I don't actually ask for help much, and will sometimes refuse it politely when it's offered without my asking because I'm fairly independent.
However, I have a pretty big problem with people who take that to an extreme. If all you do is let people do stuff for you, you're never going to be self-actualized enough to do for yourself what others are doing for you. It doesn't matter how many good wishes are aimed your way from these people either. Sometimes it will take literally just doing a thing until you figure it out.
Example: say you've got a family member who has been maimed (broken leg, let's say) and is on pain pills. Rather than just sit passively by while others bring that family member their pain meds, figure out what's needed and when, then stick your neck out and do it yourself. If you're immediately recoiling in horror and thinking, "But Jayde, what if I give him the wrong pill? I might kill him!", that won't happen, not if you're careful at any rate. If there are other family members present at some point, ask to touch the bottle of pain meds, just so you know which one it is. If there's a label on it but it's otherwise identical to other medicine bottles in the house, bend or tear a corner of the label a bit for easy touch identification.
Or, if you think this is too out-there and weird a step to take, do things like asking the people in your household if you can get them things when you get up to get yourself something. If you find a dirty dish on a table, pick it up and put it in the sink. Do things proactively instead of only when you're told. Eventually, your family will get the picture.
Part of the problem with overprotective family members is that people let themselves be protected. This is by no means the only problem, of course, but it's one of them. You have to take that person's power away before you can expect anything to change, and part of that involves doing things for yourself. When they leap up and say "No no, I've got it", move faster. Or, if you really want to set the cat among the pigeons, step into their path and tell them that if they're going to get it for you, you don't want it/won't accept it. If it's something you don't know how to do, demand that you be taught. Really rock the boat on this one. You will win the battle eventually, unless your family is crazy enough to try and lock you into a room or tie you to your bed or something. Making one token show of resistance or uncertainty or independence isn't enough to show some people that you really, truly mean business. The good news, however, is that most people who are close to you will probably come on board with the idea of empowering you, to some extent, if you keep at it. Hell, I'm still working on both my parents.
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