Re: Suggestion Regarding the Forum and Problematic Posts
@21 I also have some social anxiety, so I get where you're coming from too. But mine works differently I think.
Personally, I am of the opinion that if blind people want to be jerks and demand things from the sighted in a rude way, it's the blind person's fault for causing a bad vibe later. However, if at a later date, a sighted person is dismissive of a blind person they just met because they've seen blinky shit go down and they just have no interest in blind people afterward, it's the sighted person's fault for not realizing that everyone is different and they may be missing the opportunity of having a great relationship. In other words, I feel like the issue goes both ways, and even if you ould somehow turn every blind person into a respectable, socially adept well-mannered person, you'd still be dealing with dismissal from the sighted, because other stereotypes exist. In any case, I can't change how society works. I can't change the judgy stuff us human beings are unfortunately very good at. I do my best to clean up what I think I can, for instance if someone seems to misunderstand something about me or make crude inaccurate generalizations, I'll do my part and set the record straight the best way I know how. But beyond that, if blind or sighted people want to get involved in or cause drama and build lasting impression off it, it's on them to manage that, I leave well enough alone.
Some of my viewpoint is probably due to social anxiety, because I'm just afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, and at the first sign of disapproval I'm skittering off to a corner like a little puppy, with his tail between his legs who knows he's about to get spanked. but part of it also comes from a chill, and yes, somewhat selfish attitude I guess. I only really care about securing my own well-being, and the well-being of those I care about. I have little interest in improving life for future generations, because it seems every time I try to plan ahead, I shoot myself in the foot, or end up doing things which backfire or something negative like that. Now don't get me wrong, if I see something which is clearly toxic to the community I'll call it out if I feel I must, but I'm only doing it in the interest of the community which I do enjoy despite our problems.
Maybe this is why I get so wound up when people vent about blindisms or whatever you want to call them. I can feel their pain to a degree, but I just wish they'd let it go, because the sooner they can let that go and resign to it, the easier it will be to deal with it longterm. It's like dealing with a leaky roof, you can put buckets down, but what happens when those buckets are full? You have to empty them, so in the meantime water can get into the house if it's raining... which is precisely how I saw Granny's rant coming off. But... if you can patch that roof up, even a crude patch will do, then you can minimize the need for those buckets, and when you do run into a really bad storm where the water is coming in really fast, it's a little easier to control. I know, cringy example; I'm terrible at analogies although I do enjoy them a lot.
I also have a real problem with generalizations about groups, because as soon as you make generalizations, you lose understanding on a personal individual level, and I firmly believe that understanding the individual is the best way to put a dent in these sorts of problems. For instance, instead of railing against the so-called blinks who can't do anything constructive and turn every mud they touch into a drama fest, I'm more interested in knowing why precisely they'd want to do that, and to get to the core cause. If it's something I can address, I'd like to address it. Because addressing the core cause of a problem is a lot more effective than railing against it, and tempers the feelings of hostility which easily arise when dealing with these unpleasant situations. It's a lesson I unfortunately learned a hard way, and I still struggle with it a lot. Of course understanding isn't always the most elegant solution, and it is by no means feasible all the time, but I feel the human species needs practice in that, because it's not often a natural thing to do.
Edit; fixed typos, clarified stuff as usual
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