Re: I am affronted by the presence of god
I know that some will not like what I say, or think it is insensitive, but I am here to testify about my own experiences with suffering, and how the Lord carried me through.
When I was born, I was 13 weeks premature, and was approximately 2 pounds, along with my twin sister. I was rendered totally blind by Retinopathy Prematurity (ROP) stage 5, that came with a mild case of Cerebral Palsy, which still affects my right side to this day. Almost 10 days before the birth of my sister and I, my parents lost another baby who was in the womb with us, a 1-pound boy. Throughout the time my twin and I were in the NICU, for 73 days, my parents prayed constantly, even amidst their heartbreak for the loss of their child born too early. Even though I was rendered blind at birth, and even though my sister and I were close to death, we survieaved through blood transfusions given to us from people my paren'ts knew, but had not considered contacting until then. One doctor I visited told my parents I would not be able to sit up, or walk at all, or do any of the things I can now do today.
Also, I had an experience that is still very memorable for me to this day.
About 8 or 9 years ago, I had to have a major done on my legs, because I was walking in a posture bent over for several years, and if that surgery had not been done, I would be permanently wheelchair-bound. When I was recoverIng from that surgery, there were times when the pain was nearly unbearable, to the point that I thought death would be preferable to this existence of pain which had become my life. The sleepless nights, in which pain ruled my senses passed by as though years were passing, the hours like days, the minutes agonizing. Through this experience though, a number of people helped me through it, and it is my firm and unshakable belief that God worked through them in little but impactful ways to help me.
My great-grand-mother, who is now dead, talked to me during my recovery, which helped her, and me both. My friends, both from school and elsewhere, visited me with a container of jokes that were read to me to keep me laughing, they played games with me to keep me distracted, and told me the hard truth that I had to do something, when I didn’t want to do it. That is why I say that through this experience that I whole-heartedly believe that God whispers in our pleasures, and shouts in our pain. We may not hear him, because we are too focused on our circumstances. I can testify to that firsthand, because at the time, when I was recovering from that surgery, if you would have told me that God was going to carry me through this, and give me confidence in my steps, I would have scoffed at you, or at best, been skeptical. Now, I see what he did through this experience, and it has made me more empathetic to others suffering through pain.
Let me say though, that although I have not watched someone experiencing the effects of Alzheimer’s Disease, nor the pain which Cancer brings, I do feel very sorry for what your grandmother went through, and I will pray for ernestly. I pray that your eyes will be opened, and that you may see the plans that God has for your life. We may not see the full picture from our point of view. If God were to snap his fingers, and take away every problem we experienced, then where would our faith come from? I believe that through suffering, we can see the ways in which the Lord works, both big and small.
Again, I know that this may not convince all of you, but think for one moment, that even though someone may experience bodily suffering, they can experience an inner peace, a joy that only faith in God can give. This is not the same joy that momentary happiness gives us, but a constant belief that God is faithful, and will deliver them, through anything the world may throw at them.
That is all I have to say. I pray for all of those who do not believe, and anticipate the discussion that may follow this post.
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