Re: I am affronted by the presence of god
Hi,
I think an issue with religion coming from a book, especially in most cases a very old and dated book, is that even if there were no contradictions in the book in question, since it is written in the format of a book it will almost always be open to some level of interpretation. one group of people will claim the text means one thing, whilst another group of people will claim the same thing means something totally different. I don’t want to detract from the main purpose of this topic which is GCW’s grandmother , my thoughts and I’d like to think the thoughts of many others are with both him and his grandmother. But in an attempt to divert this topic turning into a debate over who’s god is right or religion vs science, in an attempt to make people smile, my suggestion and something I think would have cleared up the whole religion thing back when the books were first written, is rather than writing it as a book, rather it should have simply just been written in the form of a contract or terms of business, to save any confusion, as an example:
4.1 The soul:
Each species or race named on page 1 of this contract will be awarded a single soul upon arrival in the world of their deities choosing. The soul is non-returnable and holds no cash value. The soul will be deemed the property of its recipient, upon termination of this contract the soul will be expected to be returned to the deity named on page 1, section 2 ‘The one true god’. Failure to return the soul in a similar condition to that which it was received, or without further enlightenment will result in an eternal torture above a fiery lake of sulphur. please note eternity refers to the end of times, or when George RR Martin finally finishes the winds of winter, whichever comes first (it is believed to be more likely the end of times). We recommend some simple steps you can take to help ensure your soul stays pure and in good condition: please see below:
-regular preying and meditation will ensure you receive many years of enjoyment out of your newly aquired soul
- going to your religions chosen place of worship as listed in section 2 ‘astral planes, premises and places of worship.
-donating vast quantities of cash to paul Lemm, who also accepts payment in the form of alcohol, bit coin or tea.
5 contacting us
In return for unquestioning believe and faith in the named deity , a line of communication will be open at all time via praying or meditation. However, should you not feel your question has received a sufficient sign, then you may also try contacting your local 24 hour customer service team, . The agents you speak to here will be happy answering any questions. With the following exceptions:
- you may not specifically ask questions relating to the ‘great ineffable plan’
- any Request for a new soul will be declined, any such request may prompt a detailed investigation into the current state of your soul or its whereabouts
In the event the agent is unable to answer your question, they will raise a ticket directly with the named deity and you will receive your answer on arrival at the pearly gates on the day of termination of this contract.
Yours faithfully
The holy bureaucrat
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