The Baha'i Studies Listserv I have been meditating on our heated discussions for the last couple of hours, and have considered my possible role in the conflict. At the moment, I am unsure if I should leave this list as I don't want to be a reason for contention among Baha'is. When Susan said that she wanted to shut this list down, I got very sad, and felt guilty like I was part of the problem. As a Muslim, I don't want to be a cause of grief for Baha'is. For the last seven years, I have tried my best to show Baha'is that not all Muslims have to hate the Baha'i Faith, or disparage them. I have befriended many, and most of my best friends are Baha'is, not Muslim. I understand that some Baha'is have had traumatic experiences at the hands of Muslims, and this can cause bitterness and psychological defense mechanisms for some. I often try to remember that, and be forgiving because I don't think it is "them" that is reacting that way, but the pain screaming out. But sometimes I don't, and I get offended like a human being does, and then I get defensive. I usually try to be as objective and "sin-covering" as possible. I try not to look to the worst possible interpretation of something, but the best possible interpretation of something. There was a time when I looked through the Baha'i Writings with detective eyes, trying to find a quote here or there that spoke ill of Islam or Muslims. I found them. I found dozens. But something strange happened years later. After reading those same texts, I couldn't find those passages anymore. Surely, these are the same books, but why couldn't I find them? Because I wasn't looking for them. There is a proverb which states that a person finds whatever they are looking for in religion. If they are looking for hate, they find hate. If they look for love, they find love. If they are looking for "superstitions" that proves how stupid religion is, they find superstitions, etc. My path is not the path of justice, but mercy.
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