-----Original Message-----
From: Wira [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] 
Sent: Tuesday, December 07, 2004 3:00 PM
Subject: When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms


A beautiful, inspiring story for those married couple, for those who
planned to get married and especially for those who planned to get a
divorce... think again.



 When You Divorce Me,  Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped
in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out
of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then
plump and shy.I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.The following days were as simple as
a cup of pure water: we had a kid,I went into business and tried to make
more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections
between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we
left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid  was
studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious
balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in
her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.  Dew said,
You are the kind of man who best draws girls. Her words suddenly
reminded me of my wife.

 When we just married, my wife said,  Men like you, once successful,
will be very attractive to girls.  Thinking of this, I became somewhat
hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said,  You go to select some
furniture,O.K.?  I 've got something to do in the company.  Obviously
she was unhappy,  because I had promised her to go and see with her. At
the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it
used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly,
she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was
sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon.  Then we watched
TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer,  visualizing Dew's
body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way,  suppose we divorce, what
will you do?  She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
Apparently she believed that  divorce  was something too far away from
her. I couldn' t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was
serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out.
Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and  tried
to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have  got some
hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her
eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me,  Divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together.
I nodded.  I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the
last dish, I held her hand.  I 've got  something to tell you,  I said.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn' t know how to open my mouth.  But I had to let her know
what  I was thinking.  I want to divorce.  I raised a serious topic
calmly.  She  didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she
asked me softly, why?  I'm serious.  I avoided her question. This
so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and
shouted at me, you are not a man!  At that night, we didn t talk to each
other. She was weeping.  I knew she wanted to find out what had happened
to our marriage.  But I could  hardly give her a satisfactory answer,
because my heart  had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted
a divorce agreement  which stated that she could own our house, our car,
and 30% stake of my company.  She  glanced at it and then tore it into
pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.

The woman who had  been living ten years with me would become a stranger

 one day. But I could  not take back what I had said. Finally she cried
loudly  in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her
cry was

 actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for  several weeks seemed  to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw  her
writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I
found  she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

 She brought up her divorce conditions : she didn t want anything from
me,  but I was supposed to  give her one month's time before divorce,
and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible.  Her
reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a  month
later and she didn t want him to see our  marriage was broken.  She
passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me,  Do you still
remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
I nodded and said,  I remember .  You carried me in your arms , she
continued,  so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your
arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you
must carry me out  from the bedroom to the door every morning. I
accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to
end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wifes divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd.  No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
the  result of divorce,  she said scornfully. Her words more or less
made me feel  uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when
I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped  behind us,  daddy is holding mummy in his arms.  His words
brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then
to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed
her eyes and said softly,  Let us start from today, don t tell our son.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She
went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn' t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a
long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine
wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me,  The outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were
still  an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.
The visualization of Dew became more vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such
as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking,
etc. I nodded.  The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn t tell
Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. I said to her,  It seems not difficult to carry you now.She
was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite
a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed,  All  my
dresses have grown fatter.  I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it
was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not
because I was stronger.  I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her
heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a
hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment.  Dad, it's time to carry mum out.  He
said.  To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an
essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change
my mind at

the  last minute.  I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our
wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a  step.

Our son had gone to school. She said,  Actually I hope you will hold  me
in  your arms until we are old.  I held her tightly and said,  Both you
and I didn t notice that our  life was lack of such intimacy. I jumped
out of the  car swiftly without locking the door. I was  afraid any
delay would make me  change my  decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened
the door. I said to her, Sorry,  Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead.  You got  no
fever.  She said.  I moved her hand off my head.  Sorry, Dew,  I said, I
can only say sorry to you, I won't  divorce. My marriage life was
boring  probably because she and I didn't  value the details of life,
not  because we didn t love each other any more.

 Now I understand that since I  carried her  into the home,
she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until  I am old.
So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave
me a loud slap and then slammed the door and  burst into tears.

I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my
wife which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked me to write the
greeting words  on the card. I smiled and wrote,  I 'll carry you out
every morning  until we are old.
  _____

 


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