When I started using BBDB, I found that it just asked too many questions and 
popped too many boxes/windows.  After trial and error, I settled on the 
following settings which keep it quietly doing its job in the background.  I 
bet that it is about the quietest BBDB there is.  You might want to experiment 
with these settings and see if they suit you.

Cheers,
Uday


(setq bbdb-ignore-some-messages-alist   ; only effective when
                                        ; bbdb-ignore-some-messages is used
       '(("From" . "Dobb's\\|eBay Member\\|members.ebay\\|facebookmail.com")
        ))

(setq bbdb-ignore-most-messages-alist   ; only effective when
                                        ; bbdb-ignore-most-messages is used
       '(("To" . "Reddy")
        ("From" . "Reddy")))
(setq bbdb-quiet-about-name-mismatches 0) ; stop the annoyance and
                                        ; make it quick
(setq bbdb-use-alternate-names t)       ; t by default
(setq bbdb-always-add-addresses nil)    ; t, never, or nil to ask - but
                                        ; only if the name is already present
(setq bbdb-new-nets-always-primary 'never) ; t, never or nil to ask
(setq bbdb-offer-save 'always)          ; save BBDB without asking
(setq bbdb-use-pop-up nil)              ; don't display bbdb buffer
(setq bbdb-canonicalize-redundant-nets-p t) ; don't add subdomains
(setq bbdb-message-caching-enabled t)   ; t by default, only watch the
                                        ; first time


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