Hi Tsuno,
   Thanks for addressing the issues in the new draft. It
looks good. I do not have any major issues with the MIB.
But before we give a go-ahead I would like to ask to you
do another editorial check for nits.These are basically
              s/network/networks/
type of fixes.
A minor issue with the MIB on naming related mater-
I would suggest
      s/l2L3VpnMcastPmsiFieldGroup/l2L3VpnMcastCoreGroup/

Glenn

On 2017/10/22 1:14, Hiroshi Tsunoda wrote:
Dear Glenn,

Thank you for your comments and for waiting for the update.
I posted a new revision (-11) as follows.

URL:
       
https://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-11.txt
Htmlized:
       https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-11
Htmlized:
       
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-11
Diff:
      https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-11

Please see the responses for your comments in the followings.

2017-09-02 9:47 GMT+02:00 Glenn Mansfield Keeni <gl...@cysols.com>:
1. Page-6: L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType: DESCRIPTION
1.1   It will be good to give a reference (RFCNNNN) for
          noTunnelInfo       (0) : no tunnel information present
       That will make it consistent with the other items.
       This change will require adding RFCNNNN to the REFERENCE clause.

Fixed.

1.2      pimBidir           (5) : BIDIR-PIM Tree      [RFC5015]
       RFC5015 needs to be added to the Reference section

RFC5015 added to the Reference section.

3. Page-7,8: says
        " A L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType object of value
          noTunnelInfo(0) indicates that the corresponding
          Provider Multicast Service Interface (PMSI) Tunnel
          attribute does not have a Tunnel Identifier."
    It may be better to align the wording with RFC6514 (Page 11)
        ' When the Tunnel Type is set to "No tunnel information
          present", the PMSI Tunnel attribute carries no tunnel
          information (no Tunnel Identifier).'

Fixed. Thank you for your advice.

4. Page-12: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags: DESCRIPTION:
          E: Extension flag [RFC7902]
       RFC7902 needs to be added to the Reference section

Fixed. RFC7902 is now in the Reference section.

5. Page-12: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags: REFERENCE
           "RFC6514, Section 5
            RFC7902
           "
       It will be nice to have a section pointer for RFC7902 too.
       (User-friendly and consistency).
       Please check the same for all the REFERENCE clause pointers

Added a section point for Sec.3 of RFC7902.

6. Page-12: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeAddlFlags: DESCRIPTION
           "When UDP-based S-PMSI signaling is used, the value of
           this object is zero."
        This is actually a 48-bit string. What would be the
        representation of "zero" above be? Will it be a string of
        length 0, a string containing a single ascii character "0"
        6 ascii "0"s, 48 '0' bits ?

7. Page-14: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeLabel: DESCRIPTION:
           "When UDP-based S-PMSI signaling is used, the value of
           this object is zero that indicates the absence of MPLS
           Label."
        Once again.  "zero" above is imprecise.

In the current revision, these parts are revised as follows.
   When the P-tunnel does not have a correspondent PMSI tunnel
   attribute, the value of this object will be 0.

8. Compliance:
    It would be good to design the compliance module as follows:
       l2L3VpnMcastCoreCompliance:
           MANDATORY-GROUPS {
                l2L3VpnMcastPmsiFieldGroup
           }
       l2L3VpnMcastFullCompliance:
           MANDATORY-GROUPS {
                l2L3VpnMcastPmsiFieldGroup
                l2L3VpnMcastOptionalGroup
           }

Fixed along with your comments. Thank you.

General:
10    Page-2 Section-1
10.1    In BGP/MPLS Virtual Private Networks (VPN)
         In BGP/MPLS Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) ?

Fixed.

10.2    Throughout this document, we will use the term
         "L2L3VpnMCast" to mean BGP/MPLS L2 and L3 VPN that support
         multicast.

         Throughout this document, we will use the term
         "L2L3VpnMCast network" to mean a network that comprises of
         BGP/MPLS L2 and L3 VPNs and supports multicast.

Fixed. Now, the term "L2L3VpnMCast network" is used throughout the document.

10.3  Page-4 Section-3 bullet 2
       Please review the paragraph for readability.

Revised the paragraph in order to improve readability.

10.4  It will be good to avoid page-breaks within quoted clauses.
       example: Page-6 L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType: REFERENCE

Thank you for your comments. I adjusted the page-breaks along with this comment.

Thanks again.

-- tsuno

2017-09-02 9:47 GMT+02:00 Glenn Mansfield Keeni <gl...@cysols.com>:
Dear Tsuno,

Thanks for the revised draft. I have reviewed the draft.
Some issues remain. These are listed below
Please consider the issues/comments and update the draft.

Glenn

+--------------------------------------------------------+

1. Page-6: L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType: DESCRIPTION
1.1   It will be good to give a reference (RFCNNNN) for
          noTunnelInfo       (0) : no tunnel information present
       That will make it consistent with the other items.
       This change will require adding RFCNNNN to the REFERENCE clause.
1.2      pimBidir           (5) : BIDIR-PIM Tree      [RFC5015]
       RFC5015 needs to be added to the Reference section

2. Page-6: L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType: SYNTAX
       The rewritten SYNTAX clause without the repetitions looks better.
       Thanks.

3. Page-7,8: says
        " A L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType object of value
          noTunnelInfo(0) indicates that the corresponding
          Provider Multicast Service Interface (PMSI) Tunnel
          attribute does not have a Tunnel Identifier."
    It may be better to align the wording with RFC6514 (Page 11)
        ' When the Tunnel Type is set to "No tunnel information
          present", the PMSI Tunnel attribute carries no tunnel
          information (no Tunnel Identifier).'

4. Page-12: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags: DESCRIPTION:
          E: Extension flag [RFC7902]
       RFC7902 needs to be added to the Reference section

5. Page-12: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags: REFERENCE
           "RFC6514, Section 5
            RFC7902
           "
       It will be nice to have a section pointer for RFC7902 too.
       (User-friendly and consistency).
       Please check the same for all the REFERENCE clause pointers
6. Page-12: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeAddlFlags: DESCRIPTION
           "When UDP-based S-PMSI signaling is used, the value of
           this object is zero."
        This is actually a 48-bit string. What would be the
        representation of "zero" above be? Will it be a string of
        length 0, a string containing a single ascii character "0"
        6 ascii "0"s, 48 '0' bits ?

7. Page-14: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeLabel: DESCRIPTION:
           "When UDP-based S-PMSI signaling is used, the value of
           this object is zero that indicates the absence of MPLS
           Label."
        Once again.  "zero" above is imprecise.

8. Compliance:
    It would be good to design the compliance module as follows:
       l2L3VpnMcastCoreCompliance:
           MANDATORY-GROUPS {
                l2L3VpnMcastPmsiFieldGroup
           }
       l2L3VpnMcastFullCompliance:
           MANDATORY-GROUPS {
                l2L3VpnMcastPmsiFieldGroup
                l2L3VpnMcastOptionalGroup
           }


General:
10    Page-2 Section-1
10.1    In BGP/MPLS Virtual Private Networks (VPN)
         In BGP/MPLS Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) ?

10.2    Throughout this document, we will use the term
         "L2L3VpnMCast" to mean BGP/MPLS L2 and L3 VPN that support
         multicast.

         Throughout this document, we will use the term
         "L2L3VpnMCast network" to mean a network that comprises of
         BGP/MPLS L2 and L3 VPNs and supports multicast.

10.3  Page-4 Section-3 bullet 2
       Please review the paragraph for readability.

10.4  It will be good to avoid page-breaks within quoted clauses.
       example: Page-6 L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType: REFERENCE




On 2017/08/28 3:27, Hiroshi Tsunoda wrote:

Dear Glenn,

Thank you for your comments and for waiting for the update.
I posted a new revision (-10) as follows.

URL:

https://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-10.txt
Htmlized:
         https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-10
Htmlized:

https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-10
Diff:

https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-10

In the new revision, the following changes are made.
   - Updated the description of following TC and objects
     in order to clarify the role of this MIB and to improve
     the readability
      -- L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelId
      -- l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable
   - Removed some redundant expressions
   - Updated compliance statements

Please see the responses for your comments
in the followings.

2017-07-09 14:11 GMT+02:00 Glenn Mansfield Keeni <gl...@cysols.com>:

    L2L3-VPN-MCAST-TC-MIB:112: [5] {type-without-format} warning: type
    `L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelId' has no format specification
This may be avoided by specifying a format in which the
L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelId should be printed.
Is there a preferred format? How will this be printed?
One continuous octet string?


The size and format of TunnelID depends on Tunnel Type.
and no preferred format is exist as of now.
Therefore, I have decided to not give format specification
to L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelId.

A. The l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable needs all of the following
     four MOs as index for its rows
               l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags,
               l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType,
               l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeLabel,
               l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId
     The l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId by itself is inadequate? If yes
     please explain it to me. Or point to the text that contains the
     explanation.
I have been unable to confirm the above from the draft - that is very
likely due to my lack of understanding of the l2L3VpnMcast technology.


According to Sec. 7.4.1.1 of RFC6513,
P-tunnel is identified by its type and id.
Thus, in the latest revision, the following two objects are used as
index of the table.
         l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType,
         l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId

Thanks in advance,

-- tsuno

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