Gunter,
I have removed the sentence using BCP-14 terminology and published revision
15 addressing your comments.

Thanks,
Rishabh.

On Wed, Sep 10, 2025 at 1:31 AM Gunter van de Velde (Nokia) <
[email protected]> wrote:

> Hi Rishabh,
>
>
>
> Thanks for digging all the way through the review email. It was a lengthy
> task.
>
>
>
> Only one tiny item remaining. Look for the inline “GV2>”.
>
>
>
> I’ll progress the draft when you posted the new version,
>
> Thanks again for taking the comments into account
>
>
>
> Be well,
>
> G/
>
>
>
> *From:* Rishabh Parekh <[email protected]>
> *Sent:* Tuesday, September 9, 2025 10:04 AM
> *To:* Gunter van de Velde (Nokia) <gunter.van_de_velde=
> [email protected]>
> *Cc:* [email protected]; BESS <[email protected]>
> *Subject:* [bess] Re: [Shepherding AD review] review of
> draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-evpn-sr-p2mp-14
>
>
>
>
>
> *CAUTION:* This is an external email. Please be very careful when
> clicking links or opening attachments. See the URL nok.it/ext for
> additional information.
>
>
>
> Gunter,
>
> Responses inline @ [RP]
>
>
>
> I have attached ver 15 with proposed changes and the diff. Please let me
> know if it addresses your comments and I will publish it.
>
>
>
> Thanks,
>
> Rishabh
>
>
>
> On Tue, Sep 2, 2025 at 4:28 AM Gunter van de Velde (Nokia)
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Hi Authors,
>
> Please find here some review comments as Shepherding AD on this document.
> Many thanks for this piece of work. It took longer as expected to dig
> through the condensed procedures in this document.
>
> # Gunter Van de Velde, RTG AD, comments for
> draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-evpn-sr-p2mp-14
>
> # The line numbers used are rendered from IETF idnits tool:
> https://author-tools.ietf.org/api/idnits?url=https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-evpn-sr-p2mp-14.txt
>
> # GENERAL
> # ========
>
> # The draft has 6 authors, please reduce to 5 authors, or justify the
> reason why 6 authors are absolutely necessary.
>
>
>
> [RP] Will move a recent author to contributor
>
>
> # Shepherd write-up informs that IPR poll was requested, but lacks a IPR
> poll result summary. Similar for implementations. Often drafts have an
> implementation section that is removed during rfc editor step, but this
> draft does not have such section. It helps to prove that the claim of
> implementation is real and not false claim.
>
>
>
> [RP] I will add an implementation section. I am not sure about the IPR
> poll result summary; I assume the WG chairs are responsible for adding the
> summary for the document.
>
>
> # This document uses quite a bit of BESS- and multicast-specific
> terminology, which may make it difficult for reviewers to follow. Adding a
> dedicated terminology section, or at least clear references to where each
> term is defined-would make the text much easier to navigate.
>
>
>
> [RP] Most of the terms for MVPN procedures are primarily from RFC
> 6513/6514 and EVPN from RFC 7432. These documents are normative references
> because the reader has to be familiar with them to follow this document.
> Some other terms are from draft-ietf-pim-sr-p2mp-policy. This expectation
> is made clear in the last paragraph of the Introduction section. I have
> modified this paragraph to list the terms and the references.
>
>
>
>
> # Most of the comments are requests for clarifications and more
> prescriptive language. It was first time I read this document and my
> observations should be seen through that lens.
>
> # DETAILED COMMENTS
> # ==================
>
> 101     1.  Introduction
>
> GV> There is terminology used (e.g. leaf nodes, CPs, etc) in the next few
> paragraphs which is defined in draft-ietf-pim-sr-p2mp-policy-20. Suggest to
> add reference for this terminology in the text top nail them down correctly.
>
>
>
> [RP] Added reference to the draft.
>
>
>
>
> 112        instantiate P-Tunnels for MVPN.  SR P2MP P-Tunnels can be
> realized.
>
>
> GV> What does 'realized' exactly mean in this context? I saw the same
> wording was used later in the document also.
> Does it mean initiated, used, installed? (maybe my non-native English is
> causing unnecessary questioning)
>
>
>
> [RP] P-tunnels is the generic term for Provider-tunnels in RFC 6513/6514.
> These P-tunnels can be created/signalled using different
> underlay technologies listed in RFC 6514 such as PIM, MLDP, RSVP-TE P2MP
> etc. In this sense, "realized" is "instantiated". I will replace "realized"
> with "instantiated" to make it more clear.
>
>
>
>
> 117        defined by a SR P2MP Policy and instantiated via a a controller
> such
>
> GV> typo: "a a"
>
> 121        the P2MP tree.  A unique Identifier, called Tree-SID, is
> associated
> 122        with a P2MP tree.  This Tree-SID can be an MPLS label or an IPv6
> 123        address.
>
> GV> draft draft-ietf-pim-sr-p2mp-policy-20 seems to speak about a Tree-ID
> as identifier? Is the text here really trying to say Tree-SID?
>
>
>
> [RP] Yes, Tree-SID is a unique data plane identifier for a SR P2MP tree
> instance. But I see how this does not really belong to the introduction
> section. I will remove the last couple of sentences.
>
>
> 133        SRv6 P2MP trees.  SRv6 P2MP trees can also be used to support
> 134        Multicast in Network Virtualization over Layer 3 [RFC8293].
>
> GV> While the srv6 p2mp trees comment is correct, is this something that
> is relevant for this draft?
> If it would be deleted, would it cause an issue for the narrative?
>
>
>
> [RP] I agree. I will delete this sentence.
>
>
>
>
> 136        The reader is expected to be familiar with concepts and
> terminology
> 137        of [RFC6513], [RFC6514] and SR P2MP drafts.
>
> GV> Please be very explicit where the concepts and terminology is defined.
> Its better that the reader does not have to go on a treasure hunt for these
> if unsure what a specific term means.
>
>
>
> [RP] Added text about which specific terms refer to respective RFCs.
>
>
>
>
> 141        For MVPN or EVPN, Provider Edge(PE) routers steer customer
> traffic
> 142        into a P-Tunnel that can be instantiated by a SR-MPLS or SRv6
> P2MP
> 143        trees.  A SR P2MP tree is defined by a SR P2MP policy
> 144        [I-D.ietf-pim-sr-p2mp-policy].
>
> GV> does this forget to mention ingress replication? when reading like
> this, perception may be that SR P2MP is the only way?
> Potentially some extra context.
>
>
>
> [RP] Agreed.
>
>
>
>
> 151        initiated by various methods (BGP, PCEP, others) which are
> outside
>
> GV> initiated or instantiated?
>
>
>
> [RP] instantiated. Fixed.
>
>
>
>
> 150        for the tree.  A Replication segment of a SR P2MP tree can be
> 151        initiated by various methods (BGP, PCEP, others) which are
> outside
> 152        the scope of this document.
> 153
> 154        PE routers interact with controllers to create, modify and
> delete SR
> 155        P2MP Policies using various methods (BGP, PCEP, etc.) which are
> 156        outside the scope of this document.
>
> GV> this text seems to say twice that BGP, PCEP etc is out of scope
>
>
>
> [RP] This is meant to convey that the Root PE routers create/modify/delete
> SR P2MP policies on the controller (PCE) using mechanisms like BPG, PCEP. I
> have modified text to clarify this.
>
>
>
>
> 156        outside the scope of this document.  A PE router is a Path
> 157        Computation Client (PCC) when PCE is used as a controller.
>
> GV> if PCEP is out of scope (see prior comment), then why delve into
> PCE/PCC terminology?
>
>
>
> [RP] Point taken. Removed this sentence.
>
>
>
>
> 159        The Root of a P2MP tree imposes the Tree-SID to steer the
> customer
> 160        payload into the P2MP tree.  Provider (P) routers replicate
> customer
>
> GV> I am not sure what is exactly intended to be understood as 'customer
> payload'. Would this not be just received payload intended to be sent over
> the tree. It does not necessary have to be from a customer i suppose?
>
>
>
> [RP] Agrees. Removed "customer".
>
>
>
>
> 165        An Ingress PE can deliver payload to egress PEs of the service
> using
> 166        Ingress Replication.  This payload is encapsulated in SR-MPLS
> or SRv6
> 167        and replicated to each egress PE.
>
> GV> Maybe move this paragraph to earlier in the section to provide context
> that p2mp is the other option available.
>
>
>
> [RP] Done.
>
>
>
>
> 171        BGP PMSI Tunnel Attribute (PTA) is defined in [RFC6514] to
> identify
> 172        the P-Tunnel that is used to instantiate a Provider Multicast
> Service
> 173        Interface (PMSI).  The PTA is carried in Intra-AS I-PMSI,
> Inter-AS
> 174        I-PMSI, Selective PMSI, and Leaf Auto-Discovery routes.
>
> GV> is this list complete? On the IANA i can for example find "S-PMSI A-D
> route for C-multicast mLDP"
>
> https://www.iana.org/assignments/bgp-parameters/bgp-parameters.xhtml#mcast-vpn-route-types
> Maybe add more explicit references and context in the claim for
> completeness.
>
>
>
> [RP] Route types 1, 2, 3 and 4 in RFC 6514 listed above are the
> "auto-discovery" routes and only these route types have the PTA because.
> Route types 5,6,7 from RFC 6514 are "overlay signalling" routes and they do
> not have the PTA. Similarly, "S-PMSI A-D route for C-multicast mLDP" and
> other route types defined in RFC 7441 are meant to signal MLDP FECs in the
> overlay and hence do have the PTA. In this sense, the above list is
> complete.
>
>
>
>
> 176        A P2MP tree PTA is constructed as specified below.
>
> GV> A short overview with field lengths would help. Maybe a reference to
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc6514#section-5
>
>
>
> [RP] Done.
>
>
>
> 185        *  Flags: See Section 4 for use of "Leaf Info Required bit".
>
> GV> The keyword "Flags" is plural, but at the same time only a single bit
> seems mentioned?
>
>
>
> [RP] "Flags" is a field of PTA defined in RFC 6514. Although that RFC
> defines only one flag "Leaf Info Required", and this is the only flag of
> interest in this document, other drafts/RFCs have specified additional flag
> field and I believe there is a document that even extends the "Flags" field
> since 8 bits are no longer sufficient :)
>
>
>
>
> 189        *  Tunnel Identifier: The SR P2MP P-Tunnel is identified by
> <Tree-ID,
> 190           Root> where,
>
> GV> prior in the document Tree-SID was used, and now Tree-ID. What is the
> purpose of the Tunnel-identifier if there is a Tree-ID? is it to make the
> id globally unique
>
>
>
> [RP] If you refer back to the PIM SR P2MP Policy draft, <Root, Tree-ID> is
> an identifier of a SR P2MP policy whereas Tree-SID is a *data plane* 
> identifier
> of one P2MP tree instance of an SR P2MP policy.
>
>
> 195           -  Root is an IP address identifying the Root of a P2MP tree.
> 196              This can be either an IPv4 or IPv6 address.  The address
> type
> 197              can be inferred from the PTA length.
>
> GV> Could it be a SRv6 node SID? (for example when flex-algo is used for
> topology aware tree roots)
>
>
>
> [RP] No, Root address is one of the identifiers of SR P2MP policy (along
> with Tree-ID) that is used to instantiate a specific P-tunnel signalled in
> I-PMSI or S-PMSI MVPN route. So, it does not have any underlay
> significance. For a given SR P2MP policy (and a CP), the P2MP tree instance
> can be instantiated by SR-MPLS or SRv6 Tree-SID.
>
>
> 199        When a P-Tunnel is non-segmented, the PTA is created by PE
> router at
> 200        the Root of a SR P2MP tree.  For segmented P-Tunnels, each
> segment
> 201        can be instantiated by a different technology.  If a segment is
> 202        instantiated using P2MP tree, the router at the root of a P2MP
> tree
> 203        creates the PTA.
>
> GV> Add reference for segmented P-Tunnels. Maybe add context and a
> use-case example.
>
>
>
> [RP] These are terms from RFC 6513. Added a reference.
>
>
>
>
> 211        specific MVPN.  For EVPN considerations, see SR P2MP Trees for
> EVPN
> 212        section.
>
> GV> Add the section number for easier finding the section
>
>
>
> [RP] Done
>
>
> 216        When a SR P2MP P-Tunnel is shared across two or more MVPNs in a
> SR
> 217        MPLS domain [RFC8660], the "MPLS Label" field of a PTA
> advertised in
> 218        an Auto-Discovery route MUST contain an upstream-assigned MPLS
> label
> 219        that the advertising PE has bound to the MVPN, or a label
> assigned
> 220        from a global context such as "Domain-wide Common Block" (DCB)
> as
> 221        specified in [RFC9573].
>
> GV> Add reference on 'upstream-assigned MPLS label' in the context of
> multicast and sr-mpls.
> (i assumed upstream assigned was a LDP based term)
>
>
>
> [RP] It is specified in RFC 6513/6514, but they refer to RFC 5331. I will
> add a reference to 5331.
>
>
> 223        When a customer payload is steered into a shared SR P2MP
> P-Tunnel,
> 224        this MPLS label MUST be imposed before the MPLS label
> representing
> 225        the Tree-SID.
>
> GV> In such a case, there are two labels imposed, instead of one label
> when tunnel is not shared. Maybe make this more explicit as the trade-off
>
>
>
> [RP] Ok.
>
>
>
>
> 229        When a SR P2MP P-Tunnel is shared across two or more MVPNs in a
> SRv6
> 230        domain [RFC8986], the "MPLS Label" field of a PTA advertised in
> an
> 231        Auto-Discovery route MUST contain an upstream-assigned SRv6
> Multicast
> 232        Service SID Section 5.2.1 that the advertising PE has bound to
> the
> 233        MVPN, or a SRv6 Multicast Service SID assigned from a global
> context;
>
> GV> s/Section 5.2.1/(Section 5.2.1)/
> Also note that the section name is "SRv6 Multicast Endpoint Behaviors"
>
> [RP] Added brackets. The first sentence of Section 5.2.1 is "The following
> behaviors can be associated with SRv6 Multicast Service SID.", so the
> behaviors are associated with a Multcast Service SID.
>
>
> 232        Service SID Section 5.2.1 that the advertising PE has bound to
> the
> 233        MVPN, or a SRv6 Multicast Service SID assigned from a global
> context;
>
> GV> Add references what is a global context in this paragraph
>
>
>
> [RP] Subsequence sentence refers to "Domain-wide Common Block" (DCB) RFC
> 9573 as an example of "global context".
>
>
> 234        this follows same concept of "Domain-wide Common Block" (DCB)
> label
> 235        as specified in [RFC9573].  The high order 20 bits of this field
> 236        carry the whole or a portion of the Function part of the SRv6
> 237        Multicast Service SID when Transposition Scheme of encoding as
>
> GV> What is exactly meant with 'this field'?
>
>
>
> [RP] The "MPLS Label" field. I will make this explicit.
>
>
>
>
> 237        Multicast Service SID when Transposition Scheme of encoding as
> 238        defined in [RFC9252] is used.  When using the Transposition
> Scheme,
> 239        the Transposition Length of SRv6 SID Structure Sub-Sub-TLV of
> SRv6
>
> GV> Is there a reason why Transposition Scheme and Length are written with
> upper case?
>
>
>
> [RP] RFC 9252 uses "Transposition Scheme" and Transposition Length is one
> of the fields of the SRv6 SID Structure Sub-SubTLV.
>
>
> 241        less than or equal to the Function Length.  When Transposition
> scheme
> 242        is not used, the label field MUST be set to zero and
> Transposition
> 243        Length MUST be zero.
>
> GV> What about error handling? What must a receiver do when it receives a
> packet with incorrect label field or Length setting?
>
>
>
> [RP] RFC 9252 does not specify any error handling of BGP NLRI updates when
> these conditions are not met. But my guess is BGP speaker must validate
> these condition and discard the BGP update if these are not met and
> potentially log these errors.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 257        set to zero.  The locator (LOC) of SRv6 Multicast Service SID
> is the
> 258        LOC of the advertising ingress PE.  The ingress PE MAY user a
> non-
>
> GV> Any restriction for algorithm aware Locators or is algorithm 0 assumed?
>
>
>
> [RP] No restrictions, but this section is about sharing SRv6 P2MP trees
> across MVPN context, and this SRv6 Multicast Service SID is used to
> identify a specific MVPN context at the ingress and egress PEs. i.e. this
> SID is not relevant at P routes in SRv6 domain. So, the algo of the Locator
> does not really matter.
>
>
>
>
> 258        LOC of the advertising ingress PE.  The ingress PE MAY user a
> non-
> 259        routable prefix as LOC of the SRv6 Multicast Service SID to
> prevent
> 260        packets being routed to it based on the SID.  The LOC of an SRv6
>
> GV> Should this not say s/ingress PE MAY/advertising ingress PE MAY/ ?
>
>
>
> [RP] Right. Fixed.
>
>
>
> any algorithm awareness or implications?
>
> [RP]  No, as explained above.
>
>
> 264        The ingress PE MUST encapsulate customer payload, steered into a
> 265        shared SR P2MP P-Tunnel, in an outer IPv6 header with SRH in
> which
>
> GV> ingress PE or advertising ingress PE? in other sections the
> terminology of root node, leaf node and bud node is used. Maybe that could
> be used in sectin 3.1.2. also from consistency perspective?
>
>
>
> [RP] I have added text stating advertising ingress PE is also the Root
> node of the shared SR P2MP tunnel.
>
>
>
>
> 278        the SRv6 Multicast Service SID.  An egress PE MUST NOT install
> the
> 279        SRv6 Multicast Service SID in it's Forwarding Information Base
> (FIB)
> 280        i.e. it MUST NOT forward packets based on the Locator portion
> of the
> 281        SRv6 Multicast Service SID.
>
> GV> is this correct assumption about installation in the FIB? My
> understanding is:
> * In the control plane, the SID is associated with a local function.
> * In the FIB, the SID is installed with an action that maps to the local
> processing behavior.
> * The FIB entry does not point to a next-hop but to a local function
> handler.
>
>
>
> [RP] The only purpose of this SRv6 Multicast Service SID on egress PE is
> to identify the MVPN context. So, the SRv6 Tree-SID is installed in the FIB
> and the associated local function handler is the End.Replicate behavior
> (section 2.2.1 of RFC 9524) and that handler then uses the SRv6 Multicast
> Service SID to derive the MVPN contxt (or "Packet Processing Context" as
> called in RFC 9524 section 2.2.1). The intention here is the egress PE must
> not install this SRv6 Multicast service SID in its *unicast* FIB. This is
> to prevent any unintentional forwarding of incoming IPv6 packets based on
> the LOC of this SID back to the advertising ingress PE.
>
>
> 288        for SR P2MP tree P-Tunnels.  In this section, the term "SR P2MP"
> 289        refers to both SR-MPLS and SRv6.
>
> GV> SR-MPL and SRv6 dataplanes
>
>
>
> [RP] Done.
>
>
>
>
> 381        When a PE originates S-PMSI A-D route with a PTA having SR P2MP
> 382        P-Tunnel Type, it MUST set the "Leaf Info Required bit" in the
> PTA.
> 383        The PE MUST create a Candidate Path of SR P2MP Policy on the
> 384        controller.  When the controller instantiates an instance of
> P2MP
> 385        tree on the PE, the Tree-SID MUST be imposed for customer flows
> 386        steered into the S-PMSI.
>
> GV> With sr-mpls the word imposed is used, but for SRv6 there is
> encapsulation. Should this be worded differently?
>
>
>
> [RP] Actually this imposition is already implied. I will remove this
> sentence and similar sentences from other sections aout Intra-AS I-PMSI etc.
>
>
>
>
> 388        The Leaf nodes of P2MP tree are discovered by Leaf A-D routes
> using
> 389        procedures described in Section 4.4.2.  When a PE originates
> S-PMSI
> 390        A-D route with a PTA having SR P2MP P-Tunnel Type, it is
> possible the
> 391        PE might have imported Leaf A-D routes whose route keys match
> the
> 392        S-PMSI A-D route.  The PE MUST re-apply procedures of Section
> 4.4.2
> 393        to these Leaf A-D routes.
>
> GV> What does "these Leaf A-D routes" refer to? Are these the nodes with
> matched keys?
> should the re-apply be limited to only those specific leaf nodes, and not
> to the other leaf nodes of the three?
>
>
>
> [RP] "these Leaf A-D routes" refers to the "imported Leaf A-D routes whose
> route keys match the S-PMSI A-D route" in the prior sentence. I thought the
> context should be clear from these two sentences.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 395        When a PE withdraws a S-PMSI A-D route, advertised with PTA
> having
> 396        P2MP tree P-Tunnel type, the Tree-SID imposition state MUST be
>
> GV> What is exactly a "Tree-SID imposition state"? is that yang type of
> state?
>
>
>
> [RP] It means encapsulation of the payload in SR-MPLS or SRv6 Tree-SID.
> But again this is implied and I will remove this paragraph and similar
> paragraphs in other sections.
>
>
> 398        Note, the Tree-SID is removed when the controller removes the
> P2MP
> 399        tree instance.
>
> GV> s/P2MP/SR P2MP/
>
> 401        A PE MAY aggregate two or more S-PMSIs onto the same SR P2MP
> 402        P-Tunnel.  When a PE withdraws the last S-PMSI A-D route,
> advertised
> 403        with a PTA identifying a specific SR P2MP P-Tunnel , it MUST
> remove
> 404        the the Candidate Path of SR P2MP Policy on the controller.
>
> GV> i am not sure what this exactly means. Does this say that when there
> is no longer a need for the sr p2mp tunnels, that the controller must
> withdraw them from the network devices (using for example pcep)? that would
> mean that at a later moment in time they would be required again, because
> there is requirement again that the sr p2mp needs to be re-instantiated
> again. Maybe i misunderstood this paragraph
>
>
>
> [RP] The ingress PE maps one more more S-PMSI A-D routes onto one SR P2MP
> P-tunnel which is instantiated by SR P2MP Policy, or specifically a
> Candidate path of an SR P2MP Policy. When this mapping is done (using
> S-PMSI Auto-Discovery procedures), the ingress PE signals the controller
> (using PCEP, BGP etc.) to create the SR P2MP policy (or specifically a CP
> of SR P2MP Policy). The controller then computes the P2MP tree instance of
> the Candidate path and instantiates it in the SR domain devices with
> Tree-SID as data plane identifier. The ingress PE then steers payload into
> the SR P2MP P-tunnel by encapsulating it in the SR-MPLS or SRv6 Tree-SID.
>
>
>
> When the mapping is removed i.e. the last S-PMSI A-D route mapped to the
> SR P2MP P-tunnel is removed, the ingress PE no longer needs the SR P2MP
> tree instance to carry traffic. So it deletes the Candidate path of the SR
> P2MP policy on the controller (using PCEP, BGP etc.). The controller then
> removes the SR P2MP tree instance from the SR domain and deletes the CP and
> SR P2MP Policy.
>
>
>
> If at a later time, the S-PMSI A-D route needs a new SR P2MP P-tunnel, the
> process above is repeated.
>
>
>
>
> 416        controller, the PE MUST program Tree-SID for disposition.  If
> the
> 417        P2MP tree is instantiated later, the Tree-SID MUST be
> programmed for
> 418        disposition at that time.
>
> GV> What is the intended difference between instantiated and programmed?
>
>
>
> [RP] Again, this text is not necessary. Removing it.
>
>
> 424        P-Tunnel.  The PE MUST withdraw the Leaf A-D route it had
> originated
> 425        and remove the Tree-SID disposition state.  Note, the Tree-SID
> is
> 426        removed when the controller removes the P2MP tree instance.
>
> GV> What does "Tree-SID disposition state" exactly mean?
>
>
>
> [RP] It means the necessary data plane state to remove the SR-MPLS or SRv6
> Tree-SID encapsulation and deliver the payload. But, this text has been
> removed.
>
>
> 485        which a Leaf A-D is received can be identified by examining the
> P2MP
> 486        tunnel Identifier in the PTA of A-D route that matches "Route
> Key"
> 487        field of the Leaf A-D route.  When the PE receives the first
> Leaf A-D
> 488        route from a Leaf PE, identified by the Originating Router's IP
>
> GV> Is there a specific normative reference/definition of what is included
> is the "route key"?
>
>
>
> [RP] It is in Section 9.2.3.5 of RFC 6514 which is already referred to at
> the beginning of Section 4.4.2, but I will add the reference here again.
>
>
> 492        When a Leaf PE withdraws the last Leaf A-D route for a given SR
> P2MP
> 493        P-Tunnel, the Root PE MUST remove the Leaf PE from the SR P2MP
> Policy
> 494        on the controller.  Note that Root PE MAY remove the SR P2MP
> Policy
> 495        on the controller, before the last Leaf A-D is withdrawn.  In
> this
> 496        case, the Root PE MAY not need to remove the Leaf from SR P2MP
> 497        Policy..
>
> GV> double .. at end of the paragraph
> GV> I assumed that the controller instantiate sr p2mp on the routers
> (roots/leafs/buds), and not the other way around.
> Could it be that "Root PE MAY remove the SR P2MP Policy on the controller"
> should say "Root PE MAY remove the SR P2MP Policy ***FROM*** the controller"
>
>
>
> [RP] Yes, I will change it to FROM. I have also modified text to clarify
> what it mean to "remove Leaf PE from the SR P2MP Policy."
>
>
> 502        Routing.  Customer payload is encapsulated in SR-MPLS or IPv6
> (SRv6)
> 503        at Ingress PE.  The encapsulated payload is replicated and a
> unicast
>
> GV> s/encapsulated in SR-MPLS or IPv6 (SRv6)/encapsulated in SR-MPLS or
> SRv6/
> it looks odd to say first sr-mpls and the IPv6 (SRv6), if this is
> required, then maybe say MPLS (SR-MPLS) or IPv6 (SRv6) for consistency. or
> simply directly say SRv6 instead.
>
>
>
> [RP] Ok.
>
>
> 510        Ingress Replication.  Egress PEs join as Leaf Nodes using
> Intrra-AS
>
> GV> s/intrra-AS/intra-AS/
>
> 522     5.1.  SR-MPLS
> 523
> 524        Procedures of RFC 7988 are sufficient to create a SR-MPLS
> Ingress
> 525        Replication for MVPN service.
> 526
> 527        If an egress PE colors the Leaf A-D route with Colo Extended
> 528        Community, the ingress PE encapsulates the payload packet into
> 529        segment list of (Color, egress PE) SR-TE policy along with IR
> label
> 530        received from the egress PE.  Suppose the egress PE, say PE2,
> sends
> 531        Leaf A-D route with extended color community C1 and IR label
> L10.
> 532        Assume the segment list of SR-TE policy (C1, PE2) at ingress
> PE1 is
> 533        <L1, L2, L3>, PE1 will encapsulate MVPN customer payload into
> MPLS
> 534        label stack <L1, L2, L3, L10> with L10 as BoS label.
>
> GV> If the procedures in RFC7988 are sufficient from procedure
> perspective, then the example provided line 527-534 is maybe not required
> for the content of the document?
>
>
>
> [RP] The procedures of RFC 7988 are sufficient for MVPN service without an
> SLA (clarified in the text). The next paragraph describes how MVPN IR
> service with SLA can be realized as new procedures in this document.
>
>
> GV> consider expanding IR on the first usage (line529)
>
> 538        Procedures of RFC 7988, along with modifications described in
> this
> 539        Section, are sufficient to create a SRv6 Ingress Replication
> for MVPN
> 540        service.
>
> GV> what about something in the style of:
>
> "
> The procedures specified in [RFC7988], with the modifications defined in
> this section, MUST be used to construct an SRv6 Ingress Replication tree
> for MVPN service.
> "
>
> [RP] Ok.
>
>
> 542        The PTA carried in Intra-AS, Inter-AS, Selective PMSI and Leaf
> Auto-
> 543        Discovery routes is constructed as specified in RFC 7988 with
> 544        modifications as below:
>
> GV> Can the correct full names of the routes be used for normative
> purpose?
> for example: Intra-AS -> Intra-AS I-PMSI A-D route
>
>
>
> [RP]. Done.
>
>
>
>
> 561        Replication, these sections apply to SRv6 Multicast Service SID.
>
> GV> unclear if the term "these sections" refer to the sections following
> the paragraph or if it was referring to the sections 6 and 7.
>
>
>
> [RP] Section 6 and 7 of RFC 7988. Reworded text to clarify this.
>
>
> 563        To join a SRv6 Ingress Replication P-Tunnel advertised in PTA of
>
> GV> is it the intention that the use of "IR" vs "Ingress Replication" is
> inconsistent? sometimes IR is used and sometimes the expanded term.
>
>
>
> [RP] Tried to make it consistent with IR except where "Ingress
> Replication" is needed for reference etc.
>
>
>
>
> 564        Inra-AS, Inter-AS, or Selective S-PMSI A-D routes, an egress PE
>
>
> GV> has typo's and is not using the correct standardized route names
>
>
>
> [RP] Fixed.
>
>
>
>
> 566        7988 with modified PTA above.  The egress PE attaches a BGP
> Prefix-
> 567        SID attribute [RFC8669] in Leaf A-D or Intra-AS I-PMSI route
> with
> 568        SRv6 L3 Service TLV [RFC9252] to signal SRv6 Multicast Service
> SID .
>
> GV> does it attach the attribute 'in' or 'upon' leaf A-D or Intra-AS
> I-PMSI route?
>
>
>
> [RP] A better word is "with". Changed it.
>
>
>
>
> 570        SID in SRv6 SID Value field.  The SRv6 Endpoint Behavior of the
> SRv6
> 571        SID Information Sub-TLV encodes one of End.DTMC4, End.DTMC6 or
> 572        End.DTMC46 code point value.  The SRv6 SID Structure Sub-Sub-TLV
>
> GV> Is there error handling needed when more as one of these code points
> values are encoded?
>
>
>
> [RP] Did you mean "more than one of these code points are encoded"? If so,
> there is only one Endpoint Behavior field in SRv6 SId Information Sub-TLV.
>
> I have changed the text to say "MUST encode one of ...."
>
>
> 573        encodes the structure of SRv6 Multicast Service SID.  If
> 574        Transposition scheme is used, the offset and length of SRv6
> Multicast
> 575        Endpoint function of SRv6 Multicast Service SID is set in
> 576        Transposition Length and Transposition Offset fields of this
> sub-sub
> 577        TLV.  Otherwise, the Transposition Length and Offset fields
> MUST be
> 578        set to zero.  The BGP Prefix SID attribute with SRv6 L3 Service
> TLV
> 579        in Intra-AS I-PMSI or Leaf A-D route indicates to ingress PE
> that
> 580        egress PE supports SRv6.
>
> GV> When going through the text, the explanation about trans positioning
> is used in various places and sounds repetitive. Is that needed? can it not
> be explained once and then references to reduce repetitive nature?
>
>
>
> [RP] This is used for different procedures. Earlier text for Transposition
> is for sharing SRv6 P2MP P-tunnels across MVPNs whereas here it is required
> for basic SRv6 IR procedure.
>
>
> 582        The SRv6 Multicast Service SID SHOULD be routable within the AS
> of
> 583        the egress PE.  As per RFC 7988, the Ingress PE uses the Tunnel
> 584        Identifier of PTA to determine the unicast tunnel to use in
> order to
> 585        send data to the egress PE.  This document requires the ingress
> PE to
>
> GV> I am wondering about something that confuse me. On line 258-259 it is
> mentioned that the ingress PE MAY use a non-routable prefix. Is this not
> conflicting with the text used in this paragraph "SHOULD be routable"? What
> happens if it is not routable? Is this not a MUST instead of a SHOULD?
>
>
>
> [RP] Again, the lines 258-259 are in Section where SRv6 Multicast Service
> SID is used to derive the MVPN context for shared SRv6 P2MP P-tunnels. As I
> have explained in detail in a response above, the SRv6 SID in this case is
> significant only on the ingress and egress PEs and therefore the SRv6
> Multicast Service SID does not need to be routable.
>
>
>
> For IR, the SRv6 Multicast Service SID needs to be routable since its LOC
> carries the encapsulated payload from the ingress to one egress PE. I will
> change it to MUST.
>
>
>
>
> 585        send data to the egress PE. This document requires the ingress
> PE to
> 586        use the SRv6 Multicast Service SID to determine the unicast
> tunnel to
> 587        be used.  For best-effort MVPN service or SLA based MVPN service
>
> GV> The 'requires' sounds as if it is normative requirement, and maybe the
> BCP14 language should be used instead to make this even more clear?
>
>
>
> [RP] Done.
>
>
>
>
> 587        be used.  For best-effort MVPN service or SLA based MVPN service
> 588        using IGP Flexible Algorithm, the ingress PE MUST encapsulate
> payload
> 589        in an outer IPv6 header with the SRv6 Multicast Service SID
> provided
> 590        by the egress PE as the destination address.  If Transposition
> scheme
>
> GV> What about:
>
> "
> For both best-effort MVPN service and SLA-based MVPN service using IGP
> Flexible Algorithm, the ingress PE MUST encapsulate the payload in an outer
> IPv6 header, with the SRv6 Multicast Service SID provided by the egress PE
> used as the destination address.
> "
>
>
>
> [RP] Ok.
>
>
>
>
> 594        Multicast Service SID
> 595        If an egress PE colors a Leaf A-D route with Color Extended
>
> GV> there should be section divider (empty line). Something went odd with
> rendering the txt field
>
>
>
> [RP] Fixed.
>
>
> 596        Community, the ingress PE SHOULD encapsulate the payload packet
> into
>
> GV> if there a reason this is a SHOULD instead of a MUST? a SHOULD allows
> implementors to differently and break operator SLA expectations.
>
>
>
> [RP] Sometimes an operator may prefer a backup option if the SLA cannot be
> met (for example when the ingress PE cannot resolve the unicast SR-TE
> policy (Color, Egress PE) to a segment list). In such scenarios encoding
> the SRv6 Multicast Service SID directly as the destination address of
> encapsulating IPV6 header will get the payload to the egress PE, even
> though it might not satisfy the SLA. Of course, this is dependent on
> implementation and provisioning based on operator's requirements. Hence,
> SHOULD and not MUST.
>
>
>
>
> 599        route from the egress PE using SRH.  Suppose the egress PE, say
> PE2,
> 600        sends Leaf A-D route with extended color community C1 and SRv6
> 601        Multicast Service SID S10.  Assume the segment list of SR-TE
> policy
> 602        (C1, PE2) at ingress PE1 is <S1, S2, S3>, PE1 will encapsulate
> MVPN
> 603        customer payload into IPv6 header with SRH (PE1, S1) (S10, S3,
> S2;
> 604        SL=3) (payload).  If SRv6 SID compression is used, the ingress
> PE
> 605        SHOULD use Compressed SID (C-SID) containers for the policy
> segments.
>
> GV> line605: why is BCP14 language used during an example? Can the
> expected procedure be prescribed in anoter place in the text?
>
>
>
> [RP] Are you referring to the "SHOULD" in last sentence about C-SID? If
> so, I can remove this sentence, as it is not particularly significant for
> SRv6 IR in this document.
>
>
>
> GV2> Yes, indeed. Using formal BCP14 terminology in examples is frowned
> upon when going through IESG ballot.
>
>
>
>
> GV> What about for the example:
>
> "
> Suppose the egress PE (PE2) advertises a Leaf A-D route with Extended
> Color Community C1 and SRv6 Multicast Service SID S10. If the ingress PE
> (PE1) selects an SR Policy identified by (C1, PE2) with a segment list <S1,
> S2, S3>, then PE1 MUST encapsulate the MVPN customer payload in an outer
> IPv6 header with an SRH as follows:
>
> [IPv6 Header: Src=PE1, Dst=S1]
> [SRH: Segments Left=3, Segments=<S10, S3, S2>]
> [Payload]
>
> If SRv6 SID compression is used, the ingress PE SHOULD encode the policy
> segments using Compressed SID (C-SID) containers.
>
>
>
> [RP] See the previous response.
>
>
>
> "
>
> 615        The "Endpoint with decapsulation and specific IPv4 Multicast
> table
> 616        lookup" behavior ("End.DTMC4" for short) is similar to End.DT4
> 617        behavior of RFC 8986 except the lookup is in IPv4 multicast
> table.
>
> GV> what about, adding bcp14 language (This avoids "similar to," clarifies
> the exception precisely, and uses MUST to make the forwarding behavior
> normative.):
>
> "
> The Endpoint with Decapsulation and IPv4 Multicast Table Lookup behavior
> (abbreviated End.DTMC4) is functionally identical to the End.DT4 behavior
> specified in [RFC8986], except that the forwarding lookup MUST be performed
> in the IPv4 multicast routing table rather than the unicast IPv4 routing
> table.
> "
>
> 622        The "Endpoint with decapsulation and specific IPv6 Multicast
> table
> 623        lookup" behavior ("End.DTMC6" for short) is similar to End.DT6
> 624        behavior of RFC 8986 except the lookup is in IPv6 multicast
> table.
>
> GV> what about, adding bcp14 language (This avoids "similar to," clarifies
> the exception precisely, and uses MUST to make the forwarding behavior
> normative.):
>
> "
> The Endpoint with Decapsulation and IPv6 Multicast Table Lookup behavior
> (abbreviated End.DTMC6) is functionally identical to the End.DT6 behavior
> specified in [RFC8986], except that the forwarding lookup MUST be performed
> in the IPv6 multicast routing table rather than the unicast IPv6 routing
> table.
> "
>
> 629        The "Endpoint with decapsulation and specific IP Multicast table
> 630        lookup" behavior ("End.DTMC46" for short) is similar to End.DT4
> and
> 631        End.DT6 behaviors of RFC 8986 except the lookup is in IP
> multicast
> 632        table.
>
> GV> what about, adding bcp14 language (This avoids "similar to," clarifies
> the exception precisely, and uses MUST to make the forwarding behavior
> normative.):
>
> "
> The Endpoint with Decapsulation and IP Multicast Table Lookup behavior
> (abbreviated End.DTMC46) is functionally identical to the End.DT4 and
> End.DT6 behaviors specified in [RFC8986], except that the forwarding lookup
> MUST be performed in the IP multicast routing table rather than in an IP
> unicast routing table.
> "
>
>
>
> [RP] Done for all three above.
>
>
>
> 636        When P2MP trees are used as P-Tunnels for S-PMSI A-D routes,
> change
>
> GV> maybe explicit spell out that S-PMSI A-Droutes are really the Intra-AS
> S-PMSI A-D route, Inter-AS S-PMSI A-D route, Leaf A-D route
>
>
>
> [RP] No, the text is correct. S-PMSI A-D routes are per (C-S,C-G) or
> (C-*,C-G) (i.e. per MVPN customer (*,G) or (S,G) states) and if group
> membership changes rapidly, Leaf A-D routes (used to signal participation
> of a particular egress PE in the SR P2MP P-tunnel of the S-PMSI A-D route),
> can be originated/withdrawn continuously. Each such change can lead the
> ingress PE to add or remove egress PEs as Leaf nodes from the SR P2MP
> Policy that is used for the SR P2MP P-Tunnel. Hence the next paragraph in
> the section recommending dampening of Leaf A-D routes.
>
>
>
> Intra-AS and Inter-AS I-PMSI A-D routes are per MVPN and are unaffected by
> group membership changes in the MVPN.
>
>
>
>
> 645        7899 [RFC7899].  PEs MAY also implement procedures for damping
> other
> 646        Auto-Discovery and BGP C-multicast routes as described in
> [RFC7899].
>
> GV> should "BGP C-multicast routes" be nailed down to: C-multicast Source
> Tree Join, C-multicast Source Tree Prune, C-multicast Shared Tree
> Join/Prune, C-multicast Switching (S,G) Join triggered by (S,G,rpt) Prune,
> Bidirectional PIM-specific C-multicast signalling
>
>
>
> [RP] Yes, but only to C-multicast Source Tree Join and C-multicast Shared
> Tree Join routes. Other route types do not exist. PIM and Bidir-PIM
> C-multicast signalling is out of scope of this document.
>
>
>
>
> 657        [RFC9572] updates BUM procedures to support selective P-Tunnels
> and
> 658        P-Tunnel segmentation in EVPN.  That document specifies new
> route
> 659        types that are advertised with PTA, including Selective PMSI
> (S-PMSI)
> 660        Auto-Discovery route.
>
> GV> What about:
>
> "
> [RFC9572] updates the EVPN Broadcast, Unknown unicast, and Multicast (BUM)
> procedures to support selective P-tunnels and P-tunnel segmentation. That
> document defines new BGP route types that MUST be advertised with a PMSI
> Tunnel Attribute (PTA), including the Selective PMSI (S-PMSI)
> Auto-Discovery route.
> "
>
>
>
> [RP] Ok.
>
>
>
>
> 662        These inclusive/selective P-Tunnels can be realized by SR P2MP
> trees.
> 663        As with other types of P2MP P-Tunnels, the ESI label used for
> split
> 664        horizon MUST be either upstream assigned by PE advertising the
> IMET
> 665        or S-PMSI route, or assigned from a global context such as
> "Domain-
> 666        wide Common Block" (DCB) as specified in [RFC9573].
>
> GV>
>
> "
> Inclusive and Selective P-tunnels MAY be instantiated using SR P2MP trees.
> As with all other types of P2MP P-tunnels, the Ethernet Segment Identifier
> (ESI) label used for split-horizon MUST either be:
>
> 1. upstream-assigned by the PE that advertises the corresponding IMET or
> S-PMSI route, or
> 2. allocated from a global context, such as the Domain-wide Common Block
> (DCB), as specified in [RFC9573].
> "
>
> [RP] Ok.
>
>
>
> 668        [RFC9625] specifies procedures to support Inter-Subnet
> Multicast.
> 669        [I-D.ietf-bess-evpn-mvpn-seamless-interop] specifies how MVPN
> SAFI
> 670        routes can be used to support Inter-Subnet Multicast.  The
> P-Tunnels
> 671        advertised in PTA of either EVPN and MVPN routes as specified in
> 672        these documents respectively can be realized by SR P2MP trees.
>
> GV>
>
> "
> [RFC9625] specifies the procedures to support Inter-Subnet Multicast.
> [I-D.ietf-bess-evpn-mvpn-seamless-interop] specifies how MVPN SAFI routes
> are used to support Inter-Subnet Multicast. The P-tunnels carried in the
> PTA of EVPN routes and MVPN routes, as specified in these documents, MAY be
> instantiated using SR P2MP trees.
>
> "
>
>
>
> [RP] Ok/
>
>
> 674        SRv6 P2MP trees can serve as an underlay multicast as described
> in
> 675        RFC 8293 Section 3.4 (
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc8293#section-
> 676        3.4).  A NVE encapsulates a tenant packet in an SRv6 header and
> 677        deliver it over SRv6 P2MP trees to other NVEs.
>
> GV>
>
> "
> SRv6 P2MP trees MAY be used as an underlay multicast mechanism, as
> described in [RFC8293], Section 3.4. In this case, a Network Virtualization
> Edge (NVE) MUST encapsulate tenant packets in an SRv6 header and deliver
> them over SRv6 P2MP trees to other NVEs.
> "
>
> 679        The same procedures specified for MVPN are used to collect the
> leaf
> 680        information of corresponding SR P2MP tree (either based on IMET
> route
> 681        or Leaf A-D routes in response to x-PMSI routes), to pass the
> tree
> 682        information to the controller controller, and to get back tree
> 683        forwarding state used for customer multicast traffic forwarding.
>
> GV> explain in where x-PMSI is defined, or add terminology section.
>
> GV> what about spaying some BCP14 language onto the text:
>
> "
> The procedures specified for MVPN MUST be used to collect the leaf
> information of the corresponding SR P2MP tree. This leaf information is
> obtained either from IMET routes or from Leaf A-D routes in response to
> x-PMSI routes. The ingress PE or controller MUST pass the tree information
> to the controller, and the controller MUST return the tree forwarding
> state, which is then used for customer multicast traffic forwarding.
> "
>
> [RP] Re-worded in a different way.
>
>
> Gunter Van de Velde
> RTG Area Director
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
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