Intermezooooo
------------------------------
*MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE*
*NICKNAMES*
- *If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.** *
- *If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.** *
*EATING OUT** *
- *When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
and none will actually admit they want change back.** *
- *When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.** *
*MONEY*
- *A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.** *
- *A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.** *
*BATHROOMS*
- *A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .** *
- *The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.** *
*ARGUMENTS*
- *A woman has the last word in any argument.** *
- *Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.** *
*FUTURE*
- *A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.** *
- *A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.** *
*SUCCESS*
- *A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.*
* *
- *A successful woman is one who can find such a man.** *
*MARRIAGE*
- *A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.** *
- *A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.**
*
*DRESSING UP*
- *A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.** *
- *A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.** *
*NATURAL*
- *Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.** *
- *Women somehow deteriorate during the night.** *
*OFFSPRING*
- *Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.** *
- *A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.** *
*THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:*
*A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!**
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it
... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.*
------------------------------
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