A fair summary of the beliefs underpinning the debate on this list?

Mark
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Can We Make Boys and Girls Alike?

Stanley Kurtz
http://www.city-journal.org/html/15_2_boys_girls.html
Spring 2005  V.15(2)



When Lawrence Summers suggested that biology might be partially
responsible for the relative rarity of female mathematics professors, he
was provoking an academic giant. Powerful as the president of Harvard
may be, his influence is as nothing compared with that of the behemoth
that is the women�s studies movement. The field of women�s studies
originated in the heady sixties and grew exponentially through the
seventies and eighties. By the mid-nineties, when Daphne Patai and
Noretta Koertge published Professing Feminism, their searing critique of
the field, more than 600 undergraduate and several dozen graduate
women�s studies programs were up and running at colleges and
universities across the country.

The intellectual cornerstone of women�s studies is �gender,� the notion
that differences between men and women are not rooted in biology, as
Summers had hypothesized some might be, but are cultural artifacts,
inculcated by an oppressive patriarchal society. Precisely because the
gender idea builds a specific (radical) political orientation into the
field, Patai and Koertge point out, women�s studies proved
intellectually suspect from the start. You can read that radical
politics right in the National Women�s Studies Association constitution:
�Women�s Studies . . . is equipping women to transform the world to one
that will be free of all oppression . . . [and is] a force which
furthers the realization of feminist aims.� True justice for these
radical feminists means overcoming gender and establishing an
androgynous society. So when Summers asserted that something besides
artificial cultural roles�something besides �gender��might account for
the distinct positions of men and women in society, he was undermining
the intellectual and political foundation of the entire women�s studies
establishment.

The alternatives to feminist orthodoxy don�t end with Summers-style
invocations of biology as destiny. Take psychiatrist Leonard Sax�s new
book, Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know About
the Emerging Science of Sex Differences, for example. Sax begins by
arguing that variations in how boys and girls learn result from brain
biology. But, unlike many believers in hardwired sex differences, he
goes on to argue that we can triumph over biology through single-sex
education. If we teach boys and girls separately and in sync with their
biologically based learning styles, he claims, they will perform equally
well in all academics, including math.

There�s also a fourth possible view on the relations between sex and
success�one that no one has systematically articulated to date. If those
who assert biological differences between the sexes disagree about
whether we can overcome them, the same might apply to those who assert
the power of cultural differences. Even if we do provisionally hold that
virtually all differences between men and women are cultural, might it
not also be true that those differences are impossible to overcome? If
so, it wouldn�t be �gender� but the feminist effort to eliminate it that
is truly oppressive. This fourth view suggests that the very same
cultural forces that make feminists desire androgyny may actually
prevent us from achieving it. The cultural sources of �gender�
difference, properly understood, would then inform us not that our
gender identities are infinitely malleable but that they�re effectively
impossible to change.

Sociologists have thought long and hard about the cultural �reproduction
of society��the transmission of deeply held cultural attitudes across
the generations. Some social thinkers focus on the conscious
transmission of cultural messages through religion and custom, while
others highlight the influence of deeper social structures, such as
economic organization or family forms. The most sophisticated feminist
theories of gender�those that offer the most plausible alternatives to
biological explanations�take the latter view. To explain the
reproduction of gender differences, they zero in on family structure,
especially during the first months and years of life, to a time when the
way we care for children is far more important than the words we speak.

A case in point is the work of psychoanalytic sociologist Nancy
Chodorow, a women�s studies pioneer who gives flesh to a radically
�cultural constructivist� idea of gender. Nearly every feminist plan for
engineering a new, androgynous society�from the �egalitarian feminism�
of political theorist Susan Okin to the �difference feminism� of
developmental psychologist Carol Gilligan�offers a variation on
Chodorow�s themes, so it�s worth considering them closely.

Chodorow hypothesizes that the differences between the sexes simply
derive from the contingent circumstance that women happen to be the
primary caretakers of children. The special, �feminine� empathy required
for rearing children, she suggests, becomes indelibly associated in our
minds with people who just physically happen to be female. Identifying
with their daughters, moreover, mothers tend to stay tightly connected
with them for years, drawing them into a circle of mutual dependence and
empathy that is the essence of femininity. So it�s not television ads or
Barbie dolls that turn little girls into caring women, who themselves
want to be mothers. It�s the emotional closeness of mothers and
daughters that perpetuates the conventional female sexual role for
generation after generation.

Boys learn their gender lessons early, too, Chodorow maintains. Since
traditional mothers assume that boys are different from girls, early on
they tend to encourage their sons to be independent. As mothers begin to
push their sons out of the warm circle of empathy, boys get the message
that people with Daddy�s kind of body should act differently from the
way Mommy acts. If they want to be men, boys learn, they�ve got to
overcome the qualities of emotional empathy of people like Mom.
Masculinity thus finds its ground in a rejection of �feminine�
qualities.

If we could just break the association between gender and child care,
thinks Chodorow�if men as well as women could �mother� children�then we
might vanquish gender. Men and women would still have a few distinct
body parts, of course, but �masculine� and �feminine� personality
differences would no longer have anything to do with bodily equipment.
No one would assume that only people with a certain kind of body should
be caring and empathic. The speed with which a child became independent
would no longer depend on whether it was male or female. A new era would
dawn.

Yet even if this understanding of gender as learned behavior is right,
androgyny proponents quickly run into a problem. As Chodorow herself
underscores, mothering by women produces women who themselves want to be
mothers. The mechanism at work may be social and psychological, rather
than biological, but it�s no less real for that. How, then, do you get
women to mother less and men to mother more, especially when, according
to Chodorow, everything in a typical male�s early rearing makes him
wrong for the job?

Plato faced this dilemma when he drew up history�s first great plan for
a perfectly just society in the Republic�a society that required, among
other things, androgyny. His solution: send the members of the old,
imperfect city into exile, so that the new, just city could be built
from scratch. Otherwise, their recalcitrant mental habits would sabotage
the creation of the new order. The fact is, attempts to force a society
out of its most deeply held cultural values can be every bit as
tyrannical as schemes to override our biological nature.

But what if a society actually existed�not just a theoretical
utopia�whose inhabitants yearned for androgyny? What if a society
existed whose citizens, motivated by a burning passion for perfect
justice, committed themselves to a total reorganization of the
traditional family system, with the express purpose of eliminating
gender? Such a society has existed, of course: the early Israeli kibbutz
movement. The movement wasn�t just a precursor to modern feminism, it�s
important to add. The kibbutzniks were utopian socialists who wanted to
construct a society where the ideal of �from each according to his
ability, to each according to his needs� would govern the production and
distribution of goods. It was as part of this larger socialist vision
that the kibbutzniks set out to wipe away gender.

Kibbutz parents agreed to see their own children only two hours a day,
and for the remaining 22 hours to surrender them to the collective,
which would raise them androgynously (trying more to �masculinize� women
than �feminize� men). Boys and girls would henceforth do the same kind
of work and wear the same kind of clothes. Girls would learn to be
soldiers, just like boys. Signs of �bourgeois� femininity�makeup,
say�would now be taboo. As if they had stepped out of Plato�s Republic,
the children would dress and undress together and even use the same
showers.

The experiment collapsed within a generation, and a traditional family
and gender system reasserted itself. Why? Those who believe in hardwired
natural differences obviously would say that cultural conditioning
couldn�t remove the sexes� genetic programming. Indeed, in his
now-infamous conference remarks, Lawrence Summers invoked the history of
the kibbutz movement to help make his case that biology might partially
explain sex roles.

Feminists, though, say that the kibbutz experiment didn�t get a fair
chance. However committed to gender justice the kibbutzniks might have
been, they were all traditional Europeans by upbringing. Somehow they
must have transmitted the old cultural messages about gender to the
children. Perhaps, too, those messages came from the larger Israeli
society, from which it was impossible to shelter the boys and girls
entirely. What�s more�and Chodorow would doubtless emphasize this
fact�the kibbutz child-care nurses were all women. A 50/50 male-female
mix might have done the trick.

Yet American androgyny proponents rarely refer to the kibbutz
experiment�for understandable reasons. Its failure�even if you accept
their own cultural explanation for it�puts a serious damper on the idea
of androgynizing America. In the U.S., after all, there�s nothing
remotely approaching the level of commitment to surmounting gender found
among the early kibbutzniks. If androgyny proved unattainable in a small
socialist society whose citizens self-selected for radical feminist
convictions, how could one bring it about in contemporary America, where
most people don�t want it? It would take a massive amount of
coercion�unacceptable in any democracy�to get us even to the point where
the kibbutzniks were when they failed to build a post-gender society.

The best account of the experiment�s breakdown, offered by
anthropologist Melford Spiro in his books Gender and Culture and
Children of the Kibbutz, points out an even bigger obstacle to
androgyny. Ultimately, Spiro argues, the kibbutzniks didn�t succeed
because the mothers wanted their kids back. They wanted to take care of
their young children in the old-fashioned way, themselves. Two hours a
day with their kids wasn�t enough. Even among the kibbutz founders,
Spiro notes, women often agonized over the sacrifice of maternal
pleasure that their egalitarian ideology demanded. He quotes from one
mother�s autobiography: �Is it right to make the child return for the
night to the children�s home, to say goodnight to it and send it back to
sleep among the fifteen or twenty others? This parting from the child
before sleep is so unjust!� Such feelings persisted and intensified,
until collective pressure forced the kibbutz to let parents spend extra
time with their kids.

Spiro holds that a pre-cultural form of maternal instinct subverted the
kibbutz�s child-rearing approach. But a plausible cultural explanation
is even more devastating to feminist hopes for a gender-free America.
What really defeated androgyny on the kibbutz, this interpretation
posits, was the profound tension built in to the very culture of modern
democratic individualism that the kibbutzniks embraced�the tension
between liberty and equality. As part of their insistence on their
unique individuality, the kibbutzniks recognized the unabridgeable
unique individuality of everyone else. Hence, their insistence on
radical equality. Full equality meant that everyone had to treat
everyone else the same way. Even the differences between my children and
the neighbors� kids would have to go. They pretended that their children
belonged to the collective��child of the kibbutz,� they would say, not
�my child.�

But the other side of democratic individualism is the idea that each of
us is uniquely individual. And inseparable from this individualism are
certain aspirations�to express yourself personally, and to treat
yourself, your possessions, and your family differently from how you
treat everyone else. Child rearing doesn�t escape these aspirations. In
fact, in modern societies people pay far greater attention to the unique
characters of their children than people do in traditional,
group-oriented societies. Lavishing intense, personal attention on their
kids is a favorite way for modern individuals to exercise personal
liberty.

Kibbutz mothers who hoped to treat everyone the same thus also wanted to
express their individual characters by molding their own kids. The two
goals�reflecting the two sides of modern democratic individualism�were
finally incommensurable. Eventually, the desire for personal expression
trumped the quest for radical equality. The parents decided to raise
their own kids in their own way. No one ever got the chance to find out
if further tinkering might have eliminated their children�s gender
differences.

The culture of democratic individualism characterizes contemporary
America, too, of course, and it still cuts two ways. Feminists insist on
radical equality, and androgyny is the logical outcome of that drive for
equality. Yet at the same time, especially since the baby boomers came
on the scene, many American women have treated the experience of
motherhood as an exercise in self-expression�indeed, they do so more
fervently than the kibbutzniks.

A modern, self-expressive, committed-to-full-equality American mother
might know that her child is getting quality care from a relative, a
nanny, or a nursery, but she�ll often feel dissatisfied, since the care
isn�t hers. Part of the point of being a parent, she�ll feel, is to
express one�s unique personality through how one cares for and shapes
one�s children. In practical terms, she�ll be reluctant to give up her
kids long enough to break the cycle of �gender reproduction.�

True, the last 40 years have seen tremendous changes in the social roles
of men and women�changes that could never have happened were there not
significant flexibility in gender roles. From the standpoint of
feminism�s ideal of androgyny, though, the shift is still very partial.
Until the link between women and child rearing completely breaks down,
neither corporate boardrooms nor Harvard professorships of mathematics
will see numerical parity between men and women. In the meantime, in
disproportionate numbers, at critical points in their careers, women
will continue to choose mothering over professional work.

>From either a biological or cultural point of view, then, the feminist
project of androgyny is ultimately doomed. But that doesn�t mean that it
can�t do harm in the meantime. In America, many boys are slipping behind
in school; their sisters are significantly more likely to go on to
college. Yet thanks largely to the influence of academic feminists,
legal and educational resources still flow disproportionately to
supposedly victimized girls. In the end, gender won�t disappear,
whatever the mavens of women�s studies hope, but the careers of some
bright young men probably will.

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