----- Original Message ----- From: "Ray Ludenia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Monday, September 23, 2002 9:03 AM Subject: Re: [Brin-l] Re: Attack Iraq, Alone If We Must
> Robert Seeberger wrote: > > > Please note that I offered not a single word of criticism. I didnt comment > > on what you said at all. > > > > What I did was clarify what I saw in Rays comments. > > > > In reading those comments again, I think I could say to Ray that he could > > have been a bit more "diplomatic" also. > > Are you going to or not? ;-) > > Actually, I am a bit sorry for responding in kind to John, but not for the > sentiments I expressed. I shall try to be nicer in future. > > Regards, Ray. > General thoughts on the subject at hand: I am just as guilty as any here of having posted angry words. But I think the important thing is how one deals with having done so in the past and how one controls ones self in the moment and in the future. I think one can exert a great deal of control over a discussion simply by controlling ones own actions. I think also that holding on to an awareness of ones deepest motivations and ones feelings "in the moment" are key to controlling ones own behavior. When I feel someone is "getting under my skin", I disengage. I stop and think about why a discussion is making me emotional. I find that some consideration of my own internalisations and an examination of my internal dialogues helps me to find a way to respond in a manner that is non-escalating. If I am angry, making someone else angry in return will have almost zero benefit. I often have to fight an urge to try to "win" an argument. I find that if I ask questions I can learn why others think and feel the differently than I do. I try to model their position with myself in their place. I have sometimes found reason to modify my position through this method. I also seem to learn a lot more and ignore less. xponent I Sometimes Fail Maru rob _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
