On Sep 1, 2005, at 6:17 AM, Julia Thompson wrote:
Warren Ockrassa wrote:
Hey, I have a good idea. Let's felonize cheesecake. That'll curb
cholesterol buildup in everyone.
No, it'll get you a mob of angry women and bring us one step closer to
the collapse of civilization. :)
As a member of the dominant and world-owning phallocentric patriarchy,
I fail to understand the effect of your putative cause, probably
because you're babbling hysterical nonsense.
Well, women WILL talk. Like magpies on a phone line. Caw caw caw.
Ca-ca, I say.
Yer makin gibberish, woman. Kick off your sandals, shave where it's
proper, get ye pregnant, and bake me a pie. Like now-like.
Hmph. Women … civilization … link. Riiiiight.
Hey … woman … I note there is still no pie before me, Pray, why?
And if not everyone is eating cheesecake, it won't curb cholesterol
buildup in *everyone* -- won't do a darn thing in MY household, for
instance.
Ahh, you're not permitted to speak anyway.
(Jut kidding.)
(Right. Shaddup.)
And I cannot help but not escape noticing that I am still pie-less. I
am bereft of crust, berries or the French thing with frozen dairy shit.
Why, exactly, is that?
I'm so glad I vote Republican. Whip this country back in shape, yes
indeedy. Like the fluffy white topping on the PIE that I still see I AM
NOT CURRENTLY IN THE MIDST OF ENJOYING.
--
Warren Ockrassa, Publisher/Editor, nightwares Books
http://books.nightwares.com/
Current work in progress "The Seven-Year Mirror"
http://www.nightwares.com/books/ockrassa/Flat_Out.pdf
PS: Where's that GODDAMNED pie?
PPS: I have wrestled this back on topic with the subject, if you
notice. (Yes, indeed, I have, though those unsubtle in thinking vapors,
most probably men, might not see it such.)
You're welcome.
PPPS: Or whipped cream or fruit slices would be good too. On the side,
you know. Maybe with a sprinkle of cinnamon. Or those things you do
with the cheddar cheese, you know, grated light and fluffy like you do
it. God, I remember the first time you made it like that, those sweet
apple slices just oozing syrup, and that flaky crust, and all that
cheese — fair's first, you said, and nearby was the sound of the brook
and the bees just hummed lazily in the clover and you were their queen,
the very body and soul of nectar and honey, and it was the finest thing
you … um …
GODDAMMIT, WOMAN, BAKE ME A PIE!
(Hope the boys didn't see that.)
Kids: Stay in school. And off drugs. And clear of nooky. But not so
clear you turn to the towel-boy, because even if he looks kinda
female-like … well, don't go there. Unless it's dark and no one but the
Father knows.
That's what Scouts are for.
Here's my phone number. Hush. Hush now. It's just what men do
sometimes. You're a man, aren't you? Then stop crying. No, wait, give
me back my phone number.
WHERE'S MY FUCKIN PIE?
Oh … by the way … take an abstinence vow. Cause it'll save you from
damnation.
If by "damnation" you mean "my shotgun to your head" and "save" you
mean "my daughter" and "I'll pull the trigger, I swear, if you ever
fuck her" you mean you.
That girl is MINE.
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