On Sep 5, 2005, at 6:22 AM, Robert Seeberger wrote:
Warren Ockrassa wrote:
On Sep 4, 2005, at 11:51 PM, Robert Seeberger wrote:
I do know that it really bothered me after the tsunami that it
never
was discussed, and I don't think varying grief modes can explain
that.
FWIW, one of the things I'm fairly conscious of is that noises of
sympathy are just that; they can't really do much materially to
help.
Well,... Thank You, I'm Sorry, Your Welcome, and Please are noises
that don't do much materially, but just the same are expected.
Yes, of course; I think I'm thinking of it more from my atheistic
attitude. Even when you're directly affected — okay, from my POV, if I
were directly affected — comments like "I'm praying for you" or even
"I'm thinking of you" are good from the perspective if knowing someone
cares, which is emotionally gratifying; but a prayer, to my mind, is
less useful than a monetary contribution.
It's a little like the US flags that started appearing everywhere after
9/11/01. Nice gesture but, literally, the least that could be done.
Just a note of solidarity, an addendum to one's busy life as made on
one's bumper. In short not much. And given that a significant minority
of those gestural flag-wavers chose, in one way or another, to support
an unjust war, well … argh. Old, well, trod ground now. You get what I
mean, I think.
But from a distance (say 1500 miles), how much more hollow must those
gestures of solidarity be?
And sympathy is a terrible burden on the recipient. Here am I,
miserable and bereft, and I have to somehow muster the strength to say
"thank you" when I've been drinking water of questionable potability
for three days?
There is nothing I can physically do to help. I can't go and volunteer
assistance; given the way "Homeland Security" has got itself into
everything I can't be sure the Red Cross will deliver assistance I
could donate to; I genuinely feel stymied, not the least by the
government I did not elect and which does not speak for me.
I understand courtesy, of course; but I think sometimes a greater
courtesy is simply to remain reticent. Though I hate feeling so
goddamned helpless.
Robert, I don't have a low opinion of you. I just feel utterly impotent
and don't know how to make that become different. Anger you felt was
frustration vented, but was not intended for you. I'm sorry; I
apologize for that heat. I was wrong.
Thanks, BTW, for the kind general comments. I was on B-L pre-1999 and
remember how personal it could get then sometimes, personal as in "this
is my raw wounded heart", not "goddammit, you suck!". That's still
here, I think, though there have been polemical tilts and sallies.
C'est la B, perhaps.
--
Warren Ockrassa, Publisher/Editor, nightwares Books
http://books.nightwares.com/
Current work in progress "The Seven-Year Mirror"
http://www.nightwares.com/books/ockrassa/Flat_Out.pdf
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