Email for: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Self Help Books Weekly Newsletter - Week of September 8-9, 2004 Publishers: David and Michelle Riklan - http://www.selfgrowth.com
--------------------------------------------------- If you read Self Improvement Books, this free newsletter is for you. Information on new book releases, best sellers, book reviews, excerpts, special promotions, interviews with the authors & more. This is an opt-in, by request only newsletter. Subscriber information is listed at the bottom of this email. --------------------------------------------------- Send all questions to [EMAIL PROTECTED] Phone: (732) 761-9930 In this issue: => Sponsor of the Week => What�s New? Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � September 8-9, 2004 => Self-Improvement Book Store => What Are People Reading? AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help => Book Excerpt: You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation � By Deborah Tannen => Book Excerpt: Finding Your Way Home: A Soul Survival Kit: Tools for Discovering Your Emotional and Spiritual Power � By Melody Beattie => Book Review: Tongue Fu! How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict � By Sam Horn => How to subscribe and be removed from this newsletter => How to recommend our newsletter to your friends ------------------------------------------------------------ ** SPONSOR of the WEEK ** ------------------------------------------------------------ * BLAST THROUGH YOUR LIMITATIONS!! * Discover how one man inspired by comic book superheroes and the bible has created possibly one of the most powerful systems for personal change ever developed and how it can transform your life! Visit http://www.youwereborninvincible.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � September 8-9, 2004 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1) Time Management from the Inside Out (Second Edition): The Foolproof System for Taking Control of Your Schedule--and Your Life � By Julie Morgenstern http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0805075909/selfimprovemeonlA/ 2) The ADD Answer: How to Help Your Child Now--With Questionnaires and Family-Centered Action Plans to Meet Your Child's Specific Needs � By Dr. Frank Lawlis http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0670033367/selfimprovemeonlA/ 3) Good Luck: Creating the Conditions for Success in Life and Business � By Alex Rovira and Fernando Tr�as de Bes http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0787976075/selfimprovemeonlA/ 4) 4,000 Questions for Getting to Know Anyone and Everyone � By Barbara Ann Kipfer http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0375720812/selfimprovemeon1A/ ------------------------------------------------------------------- *** SELF-IMPROVEMENT BOOK STORE *** ------------------------------------------------------------------- FREE CD! Over 1,727 Grabbed Last Week! #1 Best-Selling Author Loses His Mind! Stop Holding Your Greatness Hostage! Discover the Secrets To Unleashing Your Greatness And Becoming Financially Free This Year! Limited Time Offer: Click Here Now: http://www.1automationwiz.com/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=91871 * IPEimage in Languages & Terminology * Can an 11yr old learn the Biological Classification in 5 minutes? Show your children how to drive their brain at 100%!! Harness the natural brain with IPEimage now. Visit http://www.ipeimage.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *** AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help *** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1) Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life � By Spencer Johnson, Kenneth H. Blanchard (Foreword) http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0399144463/selfimprovemeonlA/ 2) Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People � By Stephen R. Covey http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0671708635/selfimprovemeonlA/ 3) We Are All in Shock: How Overwhelming Experiences Shatter You and What You Can Do About It � By Stephanie Mines, Ph.D. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=156414657X/selfimprovemeonlA/ 4) The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands � By Laura Schlessinger http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0060520612/selfimprovemeonlA/ 5) The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way � By Wayne W. Dyer http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1401902154/selfimprovemeonlA/ -------------------------------------------- *** BOOK EXCERPT: You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation � By Deborah Tannen *** ------------------------------------------- Many years ago I was married to a man who shouted at me, "I do not give you the right to raise your voice to me, because you are a woman and I am a man." This was frustrating, because I knew it was unfair. But I also knew just what was going on. I ascribed his unfairness to his having grown up in a country where few people thought women and men might have equal rights. Now I am married to a man who is a partner and friend. We come from similar backgrounds and share values and interests. It is a continual source of pleasure to talk to him. It is wonderful to have someone I can tell everything to, someone who understands. But he doesn't always see things as I do, doesn't always react to things as I expect him to. And I often don't understand why he says what he does. At the time I began working on this book, we had jobs in different cities. People frequently expressed sympathy by making comments like "That must be rough," and "How do you stand it?" I was inclined to accept their sympathy and say things like "We fly a lot." Sometimes I would reinforce their concern: "The worst part is having to pack and unpack all the time." But my husband reacted differently, often with irritation. He might respond by de-emphasizing the inconvenience: As academics, we had four-day weekends together, as well as long vacations throughout the year and four months in the summer. We even benefited from the intervening days of uninterrupted time for work. I once overheard him telling a dubious man that we were lucky, since studies have shown that married couples who live together spend less than half an hour a week talking to each other; he was implying that our situation had advantages. I didn't object to the way my husband responded � everything he said was true � but I was surprised by it. I didn't understand why he reacted as he did. He explained that he sensed condescension in some expressions of concern, as if the questioner were implying, "Yours is not a real marriage; your ill-chosen profession has resulted in an unfortunate arrangement. I pity you, and look down at you from the height of complacence, since my wife and I have avoided your misfortune." It had not occurred to me that there might be an element of one-upmanship in these expressions of concern, though I could recognize it when it was pointed out. Even after I saw the point, though, I was inclined to regard my husband's response as slightly odd, a personal quirk. He frequently seemed to see others as adversaries when I didn't. Having done the research that led to this book, I now see that my husband was simply engaging the world in a way that many men do: as an individual in a hierarchical social order in which he was either one-up or one-down. In this world, conversations are negotiations in which people try to achieve and maintain the upper hand if they can, and protect themselves from others' attempts to put them down and push them around. Life, then, is a contest, a struggle to preserve independence and avoid failure. I, on the other hand, was approaching the world as many women do: as an individual in a network of connections. In this world, conversations are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmation and support, and to reach consensus. They try to protect themselves from others' attempts to push them away. Life, then, is a community, a struggle to preserve intimacy and avoid isolation. Though there are hierarchies in this world too, they are hierarchies more of friendship than of power and accomplishment. Women are also concerned with achieving status and avoiding failure, but these are not the goals they are focused on all the time, and they tend to pursue them in the guise of connection. And men are also concerned with achieving involvement and avoiding isolation, but they are not focused on these goals, and they tend to pursue them in the guise of opposition. Discussing our differences from this point of view, my husband pointed out to me a distinction I had missed: He reacted the way I just described only if expressions of concern came from men in whom he sensed an awareness of hierarchy. And there were times when I too disliked people's expressing sympathy about our commuting marriage. I recall being offended by one man who seemed to have a leering look in his eye when he asked, "How do you manage this long-distance romance?" Another time I was annoyed when a woman who knew me only by reputation approached us during the intermission of a play, discovered our situation by asking my husband where he worked, and kept the conversation going by asking us all about it. In these cases, I didn't feel put down; I felt intruded upon. If my husband was offended by what he perceived as claims to superior status, I felt these sympathizers were claiming inappropriate intimacy. The list price for this book is $14.00. To purchase it for $11.20 at a 20% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0060959622/selfimprovemeonlA/ -------------------------------------------- *** BOOK EXCERPT: Finding Your Way Home: A Soul Survival Kit: Tools for Discovering Your Emotional and Spiritual Power � By Melody Beattie *** -------------------------------------------- Do you feel confused, uprooted, at a loss � almost depressed, but not quite? Instead of turning with the world naturally and effortlessly as it rotates, is the world spinning around you? Do you feel like it sometimes turns on you? Is everything you depended on backing off, fading away? Then, about the time you get your bearings, the world starts turning around and on you again? Are you a little uncertain about what you believe and know to be true, about what life means, how life works, and where your place is in it? It�s that fine line between illusion and truth, fiction and nonfiction, fantasy and reality fading-getting fainter and finer each day? At the risk of using a clich�, join the crowd. On second thought, let's regroup. Join the masses. "I don't know what's been going on in the world and my world for the past few years," says a forty-three-year-old woman, a successful Midwestern therapist who has worked intensely on her own life and has helped many others. "But most of the time it feels like I'm being pulled through a knothole-backwards." "For several years now, it feels like I've been plodding through a long, dark tunnel;' says a fifty-two-year-old West Coast man, a police officer turned screenplay writer. This man has worked on his spiritual and emotional growth for years. "Sometimes it feels like I'm depressed, but I'm not really depressed. I don't understand what's going on." �I can't see ahead clearly anymore," says one woman. "Things have been in such awhirl I can barely trust what's going on now. I don't get it. It looks like things are going, in one direction, then my course twists and I get slammed into a wall. Remember the old song 'Twist and Shout'? Well, that's my theme song lately. Life takes an ugly twist, and I stand there shouting about it. " The twists and turns life takes lately are enormous, unfathomable, and unpredictable. The only predictable element is the twist of unpredictability lurking right around the bend. A young East Coast woman, a New Yorker, agrees. "You can get whiplash without ever getting into a car. I don't fall asleep at the end of each day," she adds. "I pass out. From stress and obsession." "I'm going to start making St. John's Wort cookies," chimes in another friend, a man in his thirties. (St. John's Wort is a natural herbal supplement some people claim acts as an antidepressant, the holistic community�s response to Prozac.) "No, I'm serious" he says. "I'm going to do it. I've heard that people used to make hashish brownies. There's no reason it can't be done with St. John's Wort." Someone beat him to the punch. The health food stores are now selling St. John's Wort Tortilla Chips. The words people use to describe their reactions vary from one locale to another, but the stories I've heard and collected around the globe are similar in content. When I tell people what others are saying, they listen intently, nod their heads in agreement, and respond with one word: exactly. Regardless of the language spoken, when I ask what on earth is going on, what sense they make of it, or where it's all leading, they shake their heads, shrug their shoulders, and say, I don't know. In late 1997 I took a research trip through the remnants of the terrorist massacres in Algiers and into the heart of the protest demonstrations in Istanbul, Turkey. While I was sitting in a Swiss airport trying to decide whether to proceed to Bosnia, a television newscast caught my attention. The reporter was standing on the shores of the Pacific along the Malibu coast in California, dose to the place I've come to call home in the past few years. He was presenting a report on El Nino, the climactic condition named some two hundred years ago for the Christ child. (El Nino usually arrives around Christmas and is a period of unusual global weather patterns resulting from exceptionally warm temperatures in the deep Pacific waters.) The reporter was interviewing a weather expert, asking what people could expect from this El Nino � more hurricanes, rainstorms, flooding, and consequent mud slides? He tried to nail down an exact prediction of what the future held. The forecaster listened to the interviewer's frantic and insistent request, then calmly replied that he thought we'd get about the same weather we usually got, only El Nino would make everything that already existed more intense. I'm not a weather expert, but that would be an accurate prophecy for the emotional and spiritual climate around our globe. Things are becoming intense. In an unpredictable time of twists and turns, when Kodak moments have turned into Prozac moments and the two favorite catch phrases are exactly and I don't know, another phrase has worked its way into the consciousness. Going home. "I'm tired of all the...junk," says one woman. "I'm tired of the hustle, not fitting in, not finding my place, and being slightly miserable all the time. I know there's a place on this planet where I can be happy, raise my baby, live by the ocean, and do my art. I just want to find it and move there. I want to go home." "I've been lying, manipulating, forcing myself into a corporate mold that I don't belong in, and drinking to mask all my motions for a year now," another woman comments. "I've moved from house to house and city to city, but what I've really been doing is running from myself. Enough is enough. It's time to stop running. I miss myself. I want to get comfortable in my own skin. I want my soul back. I want to go home." The list price for this book is $14.95. To purchase it for $10.47 at a 30% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0062511181/selfimprovemeonlA/ -------------------------------------------------- *** BOOK REVIEW: Tongue Fu! How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict � By Sam Horn *** ------------------------------------------------- The purpose of Kung Fu, the Chinese art of self-defense, is to fend off physical attacks. According to professional speaker and consultant Horn, the purpose of Tongue Fu, a spoken form of self-defense, is to guard against psychological attacks. Dealing with difficult people is a part of everyday life. However, by focusing on real-life responses to verbal challenges instead of theories and platitudes, the author has delivered a convenient handbook for the mental martial art of verbal self-protection. Divided into four sections, the book offers techniques and skills for responding thoughtfully in conflicts, expressing honest feelings and goals, seeking cooperation in difficult situations, and living a life of value during trying times. Each of the 30 chapters offers examples that demonstrate the expected goals and acquired skills in action. Despite its suggestively prurient title, Horn's book is a lively, positive guide that can be returned to time and again. A popular title for all public library collections. --- David R. Johnson Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. The list price for this book is $13.95. To purchase it for $11.16 at a 20% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0312152272/selfimprovemeonlA/ --------------------------------------------------- *** HOW TO SUBSCRIBE and BE REMOVED FROM THIS NEWSLETTER*** To subscribe to our newsletter, please go to our Subscriptions Page at http://www.selfimprovementnewsletters.com To be removed from this newsletter, send a blank email to unknown lmsubst tag argument: '' or for many emails programs just click below: mailto:unknown lmsubst tag argument: '' --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- *** HOW TO RECOMMEND OUR NEWSLETTER TO YOUR FRIENDS *** If you have found our free Self Improvement Newsletter inspiring, beneficial, interesting or entertaining, don't forget to recommend it to your friends. The process is quick and easy. Just go to http://www.selfgrowth.com/freegift.html <a href=http://www.selfgrowth.com/freegift.html>Click Here</a> -------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER The contents herein are solely the opinions of Self Improvement Online editors, and should not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of validity or accuracy. Self Improvement Online, Inc. assumes no responsibility for injury and specifically disclaims any warranty, express or implied for any products or services mentioned. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional should be sought. COPYRIGHT (C) 2003 by Self Improvement Online, Inc. 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