BlankHow great to see so many people conversing today!

Melanie, welcome to the group!  I'm Martha, a SAHM to Hayley who just started Grade 1 
and we're already experiencing some troubles.  We're not happy to have her in a 
classroom with some children she had difficulties with last year.  We're concerned 
that she'll have more trouble with these children and that these children are very 
disruptive in class.  Hayley is very quiet and shy.  We're afraid she will be lost in 
the shuffle in her current classroom.  We've spoken to the principal and we're trying 
to find a solution!  I also have 3 year old twins, a boy and a girl, Sam and Rachel.  
We live in Ontario.

You must be a busy Mom with three very young children!  Is your oldest in JOKE?  You 
must have some challenges ahead for your family with your special needs child.  I'm 
sure it was a difficult time for your family when you were first advised of the Down's 
Syndrome.  Is Gracie (LOVE that name!!) getting any special therapies at this point?  
I hope you are able to maximize her abilities with lots of stimulation, etc...

Sam, challenging is right!!  You've gotten lots of unsolicited advice, so I'm going to 
throw in my .02!  It is amazing how even very young children can find ways to get 
under our skin.  My younger daughter and I tend to butt heads more so than the other 
children and I do.  I also feel that she is the most like me.  Do you feel that way 
about your daughter?  It's good to hear that you've got some help in working this 
through.  Does your daughter also see the psychologist, or her medical doctor about 
these issues.  I would think that might be important.  As much as you might try to 
give your psychologist an objective version of events, your description will be tinged 
with your own emotions about the whole thing.  It might help to have an objective 
third party actually involved with your daughter too.  

Have you ruled out any medical/physical cause for the vomiting - it may seem to be a 
mind control thing, but it can't hurt to be certain that there isn't anything 
physically wrong?  

In my experience, often the best way to put an end to negative behaviours is to ignore 
them.  Don't let your child know it's even being noticed, let alone bothering you!  
The more fuss you make about it, the more they hear you talking about it to them or 
overhear you talking to others about it, the more they know they've "got" you.  And 
the last thing I'll say is don't be afraid to let her "win" occasionally.  It isn't 
the end of the world to let a 3 year old have her way and it doesn't mean everything 
will get out of control and she'll be running the household.  Let her "win" some 
fights (where you can be satisfied with the outcome, like what to wear even if it 
looks silly) and you may find that she relents on other things.  You might find that 
the more you are able to say "yes" to things, the more she'll respect you and accept 
when you say "no."  I know you feel like you can't let her win on the day care issue, 
but are you sure that a change might not be in her best intere!
 st?  Something is troubling her.  It might not seem "valid" to you, but it's 
obviously a big deal to her.  

Halloween!  I love it.  We haven't taken our children around the neighbourhood yet, 
but we live close to lots of family so we dress them up, get in the care, and do the 
rounds!  That's great because then we don't get too much candy, LOL!

Hope to hear from everyone some more.

Martha
Mom to Hayley (6) and Rachel and Sam (3)  


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