ahhhhhhhhhrggg. Accidentally deleted the attribution. This was written by a mamber of Monty Python, printed in the OBserver about the time of the Iraq invasion.
On Tue, Mar 4, 2008 at 12:31 PM, Dana <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > What I knew then was that he was acting like someone with something to > > hide, and was violating the cease fire left and right. Willy nilly > > even. haha > > I'm losing patience with my neighbours, Mr Bush > Terry Jones > > I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: > he's running out of patience. And so am I! > > For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who > lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who > runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure > Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't > been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times > to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's > how devious he is. > > As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good > sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted > the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off > one by one. > > Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the > police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they > need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. > > They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights > and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will > be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel > will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the > street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to > me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little > difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I > need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do > whatever I want! > > And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq > is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The > one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers > targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have > never threatened us. > > That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and > children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave > us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. > > Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq > is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass > destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as > much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr > Bush has for bombing Iraq. > > Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by > eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever > long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? > How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every > single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist > once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? > These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the > known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated > themselves. > > Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a > future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective > until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate > Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe > thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims? > > It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip > of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I > don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one > will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. > > My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using > the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her > up. > > Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough > reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give > the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and > hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws > and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them > over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street > to kingdom come. > > It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in > contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one > street. > -- Nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change - Barack Obama ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:255550 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
