Look, it is not like we go around terrorizing these people. We do our 
best to be nice to the general population. We know that not everyone 
here is trying to kill us, but when the insurgents look and act like the 
general population, you cannot handle everyone with kids gloves. The 
area we are operating in right now is the main area where the insurgents 
live. We are in the most dangerous part of the most dangerous city in 
Iraq right now and for us, it is a matter of survival. These people do 
not fight fair in any way at all. They employ very sneaky tactics to get 
us. And the fact that the area I am in is no bigger than 900 meters from 
North to South, and 700 meters from East to West, with a population of 
over 100,000, it is hard to believe that if someone throws a grenade at 
us, or an IED goes off near us, that not one single person knows 
anything about it. That is bullshit. So this is what we have to deal 
with on a daily basis here. Life was much nicer when we were in Kirkuk 
where nothing happened, where all we did was drive around to the 
villages and ask what we can do for them to make their lives easier. Now 
we are in an operation where we are to clear the area of insurgents. 
This is the third operation of this sort in a little over two years. It 
is becoming an exercise in futility. But still we believe that we can 
make a difference so we go in with that attitude, that what we are doing 
is for the best for the people of Mosul who are not trying to kill us. 
Hopefully when we are done we have accomplished just that, making their 
lives better. We know that they want us out of here but until we rid the 
area of insurgents, we are here for the long haul.
We know what is right and what is wrong. We never justify doing the 
wrong thing. If someone does do the wrong thing, that event is throughly 
investigated and if the soldier did in fact willingly do the wrong 
thing, he is rightly punished. If he did the right thing then of course 
the investigation is over, and we review our escalation of force 
procedures and either make changes or do refresher training to ensure 
that everyone out here is always doing the right thing.
So yeah, I am in a fucked up frame of mind right now, but I do not allow 
that to cloud my judgment. I know that in about two months I am going to 
go home to my family and I am going to be in my happy place again. While 
I was on leave, I had no issues at all with my anger. I thought very 
little of what has happened to us here and I was genuinely happy. When 
my fiancee and I were together, those were the happiest days of my life, 
and I know that when I return and I am married in September, I will be 
even more happy and full of life again. This place does change you. Not 
one person leaves this country exactly the same as when they arrived. 
None of us do. How we deal with it defines who we are. So do not take my 
previous comments as I am turning into some sort of monster with no 
moral values. Trust me, my morality is in check and is fine. And 
although I do not have any love for any of these people here, I still do 
my best to treat them with respect and dignity, whether I want to or 
not. They are after all still fellow human beings, whether I think so or 
not. And what I think does not matter. How I act does, and I always act 
in the right way, again, whether I want to or not. No one here is worth 
jeopardizing my career over, not a single one. Especially since I am 
only about seven years away from retirement. So I focus on that, on the 
fact that I will retire in seven years, and Rona (my fiancee) and I will 
move to her home in the Philippines and live a long and happy life 
together, and I can forget all about this mess.

Bruce

Jerry Barnes wrote:
> "(1.) You need to understand right vs wrong and that what's wrong should
> NEVER be justified as right or you are simply evil."
> Whose standard for right and wrong are you using.  Whose standard for good
> and evil?  Is there an absolute standard?
>
> In the age of moral relativism, this seems to be a hard question to answer.
>
>
> 

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